Obscure Labyrinth

Old Habits Die Hard

2010-01-09T19:43:00.000+10:00

Ok so I said New Years Day was officially my last post here but have noticed some havent updated thier link to my new site so thought I had better keep in touch here occasionally just a reminder Im still around. Not to mention the comment spam that has drawn me back a few times. So while Im here why not have a natter hey .. just so you know Im still around.

Im quite over arriving to find the anonymous comments offering my readers links to amateuer sex cams and live nude girls who will NOT really do all those things you may or may not wish for. No Im sorry you wont be finding that crap staying linked from here. So to ensure my readers dont suffer it even for a few hours I have turned on comment moderation to stop the spam crap landing here.I seriously dont know why people are so horrible to do such things. What if this was a kid who owned this blog? Just disgusting behaviour from those who do not stop to think about the actions they take and the effect it could have on others.I realise that it may just be a bot too.. but I still deplore those people who set it in motion to begin with. Thoughtless twats! Our children have hard enough time staying innocent and enjoying their childhood... what little we adults these days tend to allow them to be. Ok so Im not a kid writing, and I dont think I generally attract too much reading from youngsters .. but still even I find it offensive to turn up to ... and trust me ... I worked in a strip club for 10 of my younger years (no not stripping, a clothed waitress - and yes both top and bottom clothed) so have seen enough to know Im no prude. It is about the one big down side to the internet I feel.... we know its out there if we want to watch it .. but thoughtless, greedy and immorally senseless idiots push it in our faces .... and theyre ill enough to say its advertising and argue they have that right. Sorry I do wish we could go back to censorship of nudity, sex and all that. We know its there .. its human nature and how we create more of us screwed up units of human beings, and thankfully still a few good ones ... but my point being the AVERAGE being would still like to keep things like that as a sacred and intimate part of life. Not have it flashed in our faces like its the next best beer on the market. Oh well what can you do? Not alot I guess. We know what a touchy subject a debate internet censorship can get to be... Ive had a few on occasions.

Outside that life is plodding along. Things are starting to settle after so many months of indicision, stress and all sorts of issues that Ive faced (wont bog you down with the story, too many hiccups and crap all over the shop) ... needless to say Ive had an interesting run of life, alot of time really alone, lonely with some very steep learning curves. I have learnt many things about myself amongst other things. The hard yards are far from over as far as piecing the old life stuff together and getting on my dancing feet again like I used to be but hey .. at least I know what I had wasnt as bad as it seemed, neither are the changes to every aspect of my life .. but having gone through what I have this past year I will be thinking twice before condemning where Im at.

Dont forget to update your links to my new site if you wish ( I sure hope you continue to support me in my new home as you have here). I wont be deleting this site as it exists ... and well I guess I may make a post here and there if the urge takes me ... I should have known to say officially I wont write here again would be too hard a habit to break even if I do have a sparkly new place surrounded by the music I love for my writing to live. Guess Im not one who breaks some habits easily, especially when it has been one that has given me so many good times and smiles in return.

MAIN SITE ADDRESS
http://missimi.weebly. com

DIRECT BLOG ADDRESS
http://missimi.weebly.com/obscure-labyrinth-blog.html

I really hope to see you there.

Take care beautiful people

xox-Missi-xox

HAPPY NEW YEAR ANNOUNCEMENT - links corrected

2010-01-01T07:26:00.003+10:00

*I updated the new site pages and forgot to update my links here yesterday ... I apologise if some of you found the page not working error. I have since updated the links to my new site and blog, tested they are all working and linked to the correct address. Looking forward to seeing you at Mi new web home. Enjoy*

I hope you have arrived in the New Year safe and sound.

I wont be babbling on here too much today .... I have decided that today will be the final blog entry here *sniff* .. but dont worry .. its only at THIS address. As I mentioned recently Im moving my blog to a new home. First day of a new year and a new beginning. I really dont see the need to have 2 blogs going.

I thank you all for taking time to read and to those who take time to leave a comment. We all have a busy time of life so it is appreciated when every single one of you drops by and spends a little time with me.

For those who would like to continue following me the direct link to my new blog is

http://missimi.weebly.com/obscure-labyrinth-blog.html

You can copy and paste it into your address bar
or simply CLICK HERE

For those I have linked to from here you may notice to start I havent linked to you yet at the new site .. but not to worry, bear with me as I am still putting it all together and I will be re-adding you within the coming days to the new blog to keep following you too. Im not leaving you behind :-) .

Well thats it from me from here .... I hope you join me at the new address.

I have something nice to greet you with over at my new blog to start the year. Smile Beautiful people!

I hope you will join me
Cheers to a great year ahead

YEEHAH!

Things n Stuff

2009-12-27T14:38:00.000+10:00

Firstly ... I know I have posted this before ... but I am listening to it at the moment and just LOVE LOVE LOVE this song.

scottish men are too hot!

*sings*

* I WAS PERCHED OUTSIDE IN THE POURING RAIN

TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF A SAIL

AND I'LL FLOAT TO YOU MY DARLIN

WITH THE EVENING ON MY TAIL

ALTHOUGH NOT THE MOST HONEST MEANS OF TRAVEL

IT GETS ME THERE NONE THE LESS

I'M A HEARTLESS MAN AT WORST BABE

AND A HELPESS ONE AT BEST *

Ive also given a listen to this guys other work and have been impressed with just about all of his music and ...
err no I wont say that out loud ;-) . I have added links to Mi Playlist to all the ones I am growing a love to listen to.

Ok so that moment is over .... With my break away I gave a lot of thought to my online activities. I've seemed to have given up on all the money making programs and efforts. After the whole PAC FOR ALL and PAC RS I have just lost my drive. Recieved an email last week giving me hope of gaining my profit minus the initial outlay which thought was a great offer of the ladies ..... it does seem like they have been trying to sort things out so more can win as opposed to losing, but Im glad I didnt get my hopes up too high seeing my member number and amounts due to me. Would have been a real nice bonus to get right about now, but no payment never arrived and todays email stating their "new" games attempt has fallen on its sword already. After the first 2, I wouldnt have touched the new programs even IF I had been paid to do so. Over all I did make far more than I lost online in the end and still have a few bucks floating around there in cyberspace to pull into the real world, not much but better than a kick in the bum. Maybe I will find renewed inspiration and drive to make money from my computer again *shrugs* who knows what comes around the bend in life hey.

I am really liking the new weebly site Ive been using for Mi Playlist. I am even considering paying for an upgrade with them soon to get full features. I like blog.com ... its the birthplace of my blog. I never had a thing to do with blogging nor did I even understand the concept of it until about it until I started hunting online money making opportunities a few years ago. You can blame Blondie and JS for my hogging of data in cyberspace with what I lovingly refer to as random crap (I dont mean it as negative as it sounds). Useful, entertaining or not, this has most importantly re-introduced me to reading more than a text book and writing again for fun, not to mention a few good friends. Ok running off my original point here ... being about making Obscure Labyrinth a new home on my new site. I was originally going to keep the 2 blogs separate, but with thought dont see the need for 2 blogs when I got a big year ahead with the real world - lots of changes are coming I can just feel it now so need to simplify a few other areas for myself. I plan to make the move from blogger within a month and will post the direct link to my new blog address once I officially stop writing here and take over there if you would like to continue linking to and/or reading my randomness and hopefully some of the music that will surround it.

Before I go with my next distraction I just wish to make a special mention of a VERY interesting read over at JS blog on christmas (the BLUE writing). He has plenty more interesting stuff there to look over if you can take the time.

Keep smiling my friends .. til next time

Single Life

2009-12-26T11:18:00.012+10:00

A few thoughts from my perspective ....

I have been single for a number of years now and have probably been single on average more than I have been involved in any serious long term relationship.

As a single person there quite often comes a few standard questions from others who are not. Questions like .... doesnt it get lonely? Why are you single? Why have you been single so long? oh and the famous What are you looking for? just to mention a few .... then come comments from people who Im sure mean well who offer up a meeting with this single friend or family member just at the answer "Im single" or that old cliche to make you feel better " oh you will meet THE ONE one day when its right", assuming you feel down about being single. Intriguing I find it all really how people think about single life versus being in a relationship. The more I come across these scenarios the more I think about it all. I do once remember having the cliche dream of finding the one, getting married, having a traditional kind of family as it was being taught to me to think and dream of at the time .. but life went on and of all the dreams its the one thats never had major importance for one reason or another in my life and have to say may have even disappeared from my list of things I want to do, not sure .. life just carries on with little thought of it mostly. m sure there are benefits to finding that one loving, loyal being to share your times with but not so convinced that it is the be all and end all of things to have.

I find it interesting from a few angles, one being that when someone is not single it is not common place to ask questions like, Why are you married? It is instantly assumed you are lucky and happy and complete for having "another half" even if its far from the truth that you are lucky or happy where you are in your life with your partner, theres no offer of consolation like "there, there, I feel for ya, you will be single one day and I have just the pub to take you for your single life celebration" ... I mean ... in my life I have heard far more complaints about (and met more) unhappily married people than I do hear of happily married or for that matter unhappy single people, (dont get me wrong I know there are those who are both happily married and unhappily single too) to me its intriguing why its always interpreted as a downer being single in alot of non single peoples eyes. Im sure most dont mean the oh theres gotta be something wrong with you way they put some things. Were us humans really designed to be committed, monogamous animals by nature anyway? Im not always convinced we are.

I ask ... is there really such a thing as THE ONE? Maybe there has been for some .. but really what does that mean. I have met a few who possibly could have been THE ONE, but now will never know .. and a couple I caught myself wishing I had more chance or opportunity to find out if they could be THE ONE in brief moments .... but how do you know for sure? What if THE ONE destiny intended isnt what you want? What if there isnt ONE person who can give you what you need or want long term? What compromise is fair to make of yourself to allow THE ONE in your life? If you decide someone is THE ONE .. how do you know you wont miss the real ONE?

Answering questions in my view. Does it get lonely? .. yes and no .. I have been lonely in a relationship before and nowhere as happy as I am now, so really its a grey one to answer. I am one of the fortunate ones who love my own company and time to myself to do as I please. I have friends, dont fear the outside world and not socially challenged so really theres probably more no I dont really get that lonely in the answer than there is a yes. Im often far too curious about too many other things so dont really allow myself time to think about things that could possibly make one feel lonely to be honest. Independance is something I have always considered a gift to have and not been needy of another human around me constantly to function happily. In fact with some previous experiences Ive learnt I cant stand compnay 24/7. It irritates me to not have ample space and time to myself.

Why am I single? Why have I been single for so long? ... like theres a reason. I just am. Its not through lack of opportunity or lack of meeting people wanting to give it a shot. Its a lack of saying yes and making time to spend with ONE particular person. Missi - shortened from Mission Impossible - is one good description and nickname that was given to me from one who tried to get me to say something other than no thanks for numerous years. I have come aware of the fact that Im plain selfish and happy being so for now. Its not an unkind sort of selfish, friends are unselfishly welcome in my world. I genuinely care and think both deeply and dearly of those few who I've share an intimate attraction to and those I call friend .. its just that I only think of my girl and myself in my big picture plans for the present moment. No reason, to borrow a term it just is what it is. Not saying I couldnt or wouldnt make room to think more of including another ... its just not a big thought on my mind to do so. I guess I dont feel dating fulfills many needs I have so dont think of going to such efforts.

I guess that also kind of answers What am I looking for? ... Im simply not looking, my eyes arent closed fully but I cant say seeking someone is something on the list of things Im doing ..... I have considered at times what I would accept and the qualities I would like in a person if ever I was intrigued enough, but I dont seem to get intrigued very often at all. Sorry to say when guys open their mouths to speak on that level quite often I return to the music in my head. The few times I have been intrigued enough to do more than dismiss the whole idea immediately if not sooner, although gorgeous qualities and beings in their own ways, they just havent managed to keep me that way for one reason or another. Whether its a fault or not I walk away from difficult relationships far too easily as in my mind life is far too short to be spending years trying to "fix" something that in my mind shouldnt be hard work. I guess I have the opinion that a good relationship with someone should never seem like hard work. If theres more effort, tears or pain than laughter on average then I can think of better things to do with my time. Life is far too short and why live for that kind of destiny regardless of what it represents to the outside world. Also if your not going to be my best friend above all else you have no chance. After all what is a relationship? Its only a deeper form of friendship with a committment to not be sharing or getting your "benefits" with others in my eyes. Ive found that can be a bit too black and white for some, thats ok we dont all have to think alike.

You know the more I think of it I wonder if I even have what it takes in me to have one of those relationships that others are always aspiring to have ... that whole getting married, committing to one person .... dont get me wrong .. its not a negative thought, its a realistic question of myself. Looking around at those in relationships, what I hear of and the things I think Im so glad I dont have to deal with.The lack of allowing room for such an idea to develop much in my life. The lack of interest in the whole "dating game". I guess I just dont need another human to feel complete and happy.

Im still intrigued why being single is viewed from an "awwww you poor thing" angle from some .... I see many benefits to single life that make me think that way of unhappily attached people. I wouldnt trade my single life for a mediocre relationship if you gave me a millionaire lifestyle.

Merry Xmas

2009-12-26T08:35:00.004+10:00

Ok so its a day late for us Aussies but hey I made it. A big merry christmas to you all ( an extra big hug to a certain someone .. from your wee pal ;-) ). I hope you and yours all had/ are having a great time. What did you all get this year?

Mine was a quiet one with my mobile disconnected due to Virgin Mobile being a totally incompetent company who cannot get a single thing with their service right since the day they took over my previous company ... leaving me without phone for over a week now! I am now havign to await on new simcards for some dumb ass reason not too mention an answer on why this happened. They better be prepared to give me something damn good for this screw up or my letter to the Telecommunications Ombudsman will be lodged regardless of having my service reconnected.

Also my girl is with her dad this year in Adelaide until mid January, so is just me this year. I did get a most tanfabulous shirt I have had my eye on for some time from a friend up here, a new favourite so pretty wrapped about that. I added some new music to Mi Playlist site, played Evony for a good portion of the day as is my latest addiction and then took myself out for a walk.

Hadnt intended to be a long one but turned out walking for just over 4 hrs hehehe. The beginning of my walk was kind of funny. Made me giggle at you guys. I got a few blocks and had a dark gentleman start trying to grab my attention for a chat. hell its xmas day why not humour him a bit, hahaha, within 2 minutes I he was asking where I lived and offered me a bit of him. I laughed and kept walkking. Thanks but no thanks. Not the present Im looking for today. I got another 15 minutes up the road and was offered a mango by another guy. I dont like mangoes either so declined his offer to and kept on walking. Sorry guys you just dont have what I want for christmas lol.

Down along the braodwater, through the park . It was full of families having bbq's and playing games, made me smile to see. Was nice, went and watched the boats for a while at the marina. The waters were so calm it was like glass to look at. The air was eerily till down at the Marina too which made it an awesome atmosphere to enjoy for a while. Headed down to the beach and watched the waves roll in. Had intended on going for a swim before I set off but I just ended up walking and watching the waves roll in.

Its been a while since Ive gone for such a long wander ... all the way I could only think how glad I am that I never ended up returning to Adelaide after all. In 16 years I NEVER enjoyed walking around there .. never appreciated the views (or lack of interesting things to see) ... was never inspired enough to get out and when I did I never really enjoyed my surroundings .. it was only ever my friends that made that place for me ... and as much as I miss them all very dearly I totally love being up here. I am very lucky to be living in a place where there are so many smalll yet beautiful things to enjoy. Thanks to my friends and my girl for helping give me the strength to make it through the past year and a half. Couldnt have done it without you.

So what plans are you all making to greet the new year? I think I will take myself for another walk new years as I did yesterday. I enjoyed it so much I think it may become a new thing to do more often. Its funny what you rediscover when you no longer have a car to get you about.

Have a great day whatever you are doing beautiful people.

Ciao for now

A Muppet Start

2009-12-19T17:07:00.001+10:00

Done very little today ... i've finished the course I was doing so just taking it easy. Pottered about the place a bit, play Evony as seems to be what I do alot of since getting into it. For a non gamer it has me hooked big time lol. Ive lso spent the day pretty much listening to music, and a dance here and there for the fun of it. Why not .. the world is my dance floor after all, I'll dance whenever and wherever I feel the music enough to do so :-) . While Ive been listening to music I was inspired me to re-do a site I had up and turn it into Mi Playlist. Has all the music I like to listen to at various times, some of it daily, others not so often but still love it. Shhhhh dont say a word! You may be surprised at what you find there for your ears.Something maybe you like, havent heard in a while or something you may wanna shoot me for posting I like it. Whatever its all the tunes I enjoy in one place. Some features may not be working .. important thing is all the music does! I will fix everything as I go along and fine tune the whole site, hopefully making it a bit of entertainmet.

If you check it out hope you enjoy! I will add new music at least weekly to the list. I have another blog there as well to make it easy for you to make comments and suggestions.

For those who like Alice Cooper I have found a MUST SEE version of Schools Out! Some may remember it. Its under A in Mi Playlist.

If you like want to have a look at Mi Playlist Here . You can also find the link at the top of my page to the right if you lose it.

Getting back into it ....

2009-12-16T09:15:00.000+10:00

Hello beautiful people! I hope you have all been safe and well in my absence.

The biggest experience of the past few weeks ....

I took up a retail course on recommendation from my job network provider, I had to wait a while for it to become available and one of the pre requisites was that I had to remain unemployed to take on the training. Ok so I wait a couple months. OMG!!!! Firstly I have re-affirmed I do not do unemployed well at all. I am over! over! over! not having a job, but I want a new direction so try have patience.

So the course, a government run piece of crap! What have I learnt from it? Sarrina Russo Accredited courses are crap! Idiots guides to keep the government unemployment statistics lower than the reality is my guess. Funnily enough spoke to a shop owner near where I did my work experience who now refuses to take students from this agency any more because of the low quality of people that come through there, interesting comment I thought.

They rush you through theory, tell you to put answers down that often dont even answer the actual question asked .. but then as they keep saying this theory must be complete for their "paper trail". I have questioned a few answers comapred to the question as it didnt make sense .. and well simple answer from lecturer is "thats ok this is the answer we want to see there". Oh and dont dare answer their quizzes honestly to assess yourself, unless you tick the boxes "they" want your wrong for being honest. Whats the point of a personal assessment quiz if you have to tick what they want to see? No finding your strengths and weaknesses and working on these areas. I have learnt that they lost their accreditation as a job agency because their "paper trail" didnt show what was necessary to keep their job network accreditation during an audit. For someone who does have customer service exerience, 14 years of it, I really do not see where people are actually meant to learn actual good customer service skills through this course.

The way we are constantly reminded that as a class we are guniea pigs as they have never run this course before gives me no confidence in what they are teaching ... or trying to. I am finding myself bored and impatient. We ended up with work experience placements. I was given mine in a fashion clothes boutique. Not happy as I had told them I wanted to go anywhere but in that area of retail. I asked for pc's, electronics and basically anything non-fashion related. I was disappointed they put me in a box because I "looked" like someone into fashion, but thought it a compliment to start I guess, one thing people soon learn with me .. dont judge this book by any of its covers because you will get it wrong 99% until you actually talk and get to know me. Anyway, I was disappointed but it wasnt the end of the world. I did however mention "unfortunately" I ended up in fashion to which I was told "oh its ONLY 3 days dont be so negative!" I sat back and thought ok (bitch!) you dont know what frustrations Ive faced to get to this point but will accept that you dont care as you've done your job. Fine. The lecturer bought a bit of attention to me in class over it, as I pointed out to her ... no point getting shitty at anyone here cuz it wont fix anything. At break time I approached the lecturer as I wanted to clarify why I was a bit frustrated and point out it wasnt a personal thing at her or those who organised the work placements. She dismisses what I start to say with the same "oh its only 3 days" comment as the other woman and cut me off totally. This just threw in my face EVERYTHING she had been saying for 3 weeks about listening and having empathy with your customers. So more peeved I am, but ok I can deal with it. Have a bitch with the classmates on break and back to class I go ... The lecturer yet again bought attention to me and making a joke of my foot moving a million miles an hour with internal frustration bordering on rage blackout. Little did they realise .. yes I was dissapointed ending up in a clothes shop .. but they were pushing me to get more irate about the whole situation with their disregard to anything I had to say yet making a giggle out of what they didnt understand about me. With the lecturer trying to make light of it all I got up, told her I had much better things to do than put up with this crap and walked out.

What did I do? I went hunting for a computer or electronic shop to take me on for work experience and you know what .. I found it :-). The exact kind of shop I want to work in too, sales as well as repairs of computers with an internet cafe. Perfect. In your face Sarrina Russo people ... oh and also thanks for pissing me off with your hypocritical ways and disregard of my own self. Ive learnt when Ive had enough crap I get off my ass and take control of where I want to go and I go there .. with or without help. I get what I want!

Anothr re-affirmed lesson ... unless your a numbskull do not rely on the government to get you ahead this is now the 2nd time I have had to go do it all myself when it has been left up to someone in a government department to take care of. Accept mediochre and thats what you will continue to get. Not I! I get crap, I throw it in the face of whoever dishes it to me and take another step up.

So now I have 2 days left of my course and I have an offer for further training from the pc shop I impressed my way into with a highly possible vision of a full time job on the horizon. Being christmas theyve been honest in telling me they cant take me on right now .. but are willing to train me as often or as little as Id like to waste my time there with them in pc's, repairs and other areas of shop operations. Win/win for me.

Well I have to cut myself off for now ... my girl is heading down south for the school holidays today ... something I had hoped to be joining her in but no not this time. I have far too much responsibility and reality to take care of before some big changes come my way in feb.

I promise to be back a bit more regular from now on .. slowly getting back into the swing of the internet things now Ive enjoyed a change.

So whats news with you?

Taking a break

2009-11-17T11:12:00.004+10:00

I have been a bit quiet these past weeks in my posting efforts, I just have far too much going on at the moment to be able to sit down and focus on too much. All is good, no need to worry, just a lot on my plate to juggle around. I have decided that I will also be taking a small break from my blog for about a month. Ive got a lot to sort out personally in the coming weeks. I didnt want to just disappear and leave you wondering whats happened. I will still be in the background and visit your pages when I can.

Just some tunes til I return .... see you all again just in time to wish you all a merry xas beautiful people

I like the clip to this. A bit random. Its from one of my favourite movies "Almost Famous" .. reminds me of Mi :-) (not the looks)

For the male of the species

2009-11-06T00:05:00.000+10:00

Ok ... now look this is going to be a bit out there, maybe confronting and you may be shocked, embarassed that I should even bring this up and maybe you will feel this is just too much information from a girl ... but well I just have to pass this one on.

I was in a chat with another lady from New york just recently. She shared with me an advertisement she was listening to .... and well at first it had me roaring with laughter and all sorts of cartoon visuals of various situations in which it could be applied. It was quite hilarious at joke level, but then I thought about it, and well for some it can be quite serious. Now this is going to get personal and Im sorry if you feel uneasy a woman of all people bringing this up ... and well before I embarass you any further I will let you go have a look at the video for yourself guys to see what Im on about.

Just One Solution

A little something for my mum

2009-11-04T09:09:00.001+10:00

Its 10 years to the day and Im a little bit of a tender today ... sookie la la I may be but oh well thats being human for ya hey, and yes Im a sentimental one at that. All I can say is I love you mum and although it wasnt always the right way, you taught me well. I never used to understand you pushing me away but its ok, now I know why and Im doing ok. I did listen to you. I didnt follow - well not all - your mistakes, Ive worked hard and become what you always said you dreamed for me. Regardless of what happened in the past, your my mum and nothing will ever take away what you mean to me. I choose to live my life in ways I know would make you proud of not only me but in what you hve achieved too. Just wish I could show you that not everything you did was for nothing.

Starry

starry night

paint your palette blue and grey

look out on a summer's day

with eyes that know the

darkness in my soul.

Shadows on the hills

sketch the trees and the daffodils

catch the breeze and the winter chills

in colors on the snowy linen land.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity

how you tried to set them free.

They would not listen

they did not know how

Surprises

2009-11-02T10:44:00.000+10:00

Continuing a little on the last post of dreams. One of my biggest dreams growing up was to meet my sisters .... one in particular who is only a few years younger than me. Those who know me well know that I do in fact have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. I just have nothing to do with any of them.

I lost contact with my brothers when my mum died, I refused to keep in touch with her [insert derogatory inflammatory disrespectful as low as you can go cussing words here] boyfriend - and their dad. With the hell he put me through growing up it was a decision I had to make in order to break free from it all. It still guts me to this day as the last time I saw my brothers I had one chasing me and begging me crying to take him, he was 7 at the time, I was only 20 and barely keeping myself together to be able to raise my girl let alone take on the responsibility and hell I would have been given for taking my brother, he was a handful at the best of times. I dont kick myself for that but it still hurts that I could only save myself at the time.

My two sisters were both adopted out many years before mums boyfriend arrived on the scene. All my life I dreamt of meeting my sisters, the normal case of only sibling wishing they had someone to play with (however looking back am glad that they never had to live what I did). When I was 18 I got contact from one of my sisters who is only a few years younger than me. We had to communicate annonymously for a while through welfare as she was under 18 and therefor all contact between her and us had to monitored closely. We hung out a bit and she scared me with how much more like our mum she was compared to me - and oh how scary a similarity it is. She looks like mum, she talks like mum and she has so many similar attitudes and ways like mum. For someone who was adopted out at 3 months it boggles my mind how she can be so like her in not only looks but personality. Looking at what she had and what I had ... you would think she was the one dragged up through life and I had the nice parents. Anyway ... we lost contact over the years. She moved into the outback in South Australia. Last time I saw her was not long after the birth of her 2nd child ... a rather memorable experience as I ended up on a hospital bed after feinting moments - luckily before - being handed my new nephew and after that visit, well I carried on doing as I do and we fell out of contact. I wondered occasionally about where she may be and what she may be doing but had no way of finding out so didnt think too hard about it all although I had hoped to find her again some day.

And theres the surprise ... last night my phone rings and low and behold its my sister! I nearly didnt answer the phone since I didnt recognise it .... Im terrible for not answering numbers I either dont know or that are private. A rare occasion Im glad I didnt ignore it. Its a strange feeling I get with her. The child inside thats happy to have her sister in her life .. and the person who is still quite tender over her mum that she reminds me so much of. Im also alot softer around the edges than she is which kind of makes me a little uneasy talking to her. Mainly because I dont believe in carrying myself in certain ways and dont know how to react to some things with her. Part of me wants to look down and say thats not the way to be ... but then I just l keep quiet. Was certainly a moment of spinning heads when I got off the phone from talking ot her. Is an odd but nice feeling to know that Im in touch with a part of my family that doesnt make me want to cut them off at the blood line again. Its kind of uncanny timing too with being only days away from the date of mums departure from life. So there you go ... one big surprise for me. One Im not too unhappy about getting either.

Speaking of surprises ... Last couple of weeks Ive been working on having a big one for many around christmas. Let you know more as soon as things have panned out the way they should.

Have a great day gorgeous people. keep smiling. You just never know what surprises are in order.

Dream Your Dream and Live Some

2009-10-30T09:50:00.001+10:00

As I do ... I greet the morning with a coffee and my computer. They have become my first 2 steps of the day (as long as Im awake before the alarm which is the normal unless I pull n all nighter). Check emails and the latest obsession Evony ... build troops, defenses, buildings, getting bigger and stronger quietly learning more about the game play. I like the early mornings at the moment ... its the one time that I feel like I can relax at home. My girl gets up and ready for school, have a chat as she does. Im so proud of her lately, there has been a definite positive growth in her that has given her a bit more of a glow about her. Everything feels like it should ... far from te reality of the rest of most days - thats a different story I wont share here. Apart from that the other part I love about mornings is listening to my music with no other disturbance. Anyone who knows me well knows that theres something wrong if I dont have the music on somewhere in the background at home, in the car and anywhere else I can get away with it. Im not obsessed by bands or who does what and choose what suits my mood at the time.

So here I sit grooving away in my seat to one of my favourite playlists and got to thinking about dreams. Uh-oh ... yes here I go thinking out loud again .. run now if you can do without insanity for today :-P. All sorts of dreams ... from those you have at night, to what if it were a perfect world, for my girl, past dreams. Do even you dare to dream? Do you dream big? Are your dreams simple? Do you follow any dreams? Do you hold on to your dreams? Or do you get stuck in reality far too much to allow your mind to wander that far?

As you may gather I allow my mind to wander ... I let it go far, I let it create unrealistic figures and ponder impossible ideas. Thats why I love music so much ... some of you escape in books, drugs, alcohol, tv, video games, work whatever it is we all have an escape. Mine is music. Thats where I got to thinking about my perfect life. What is my vision of MY perfect life. To start I would have an awesome voice lol. I would be a singer and dancer. I would perform in a large group of amazing performers putting on awe inspiring shows. Dont get me wrong ... its not a fame seeker thing, I just think performing and being able to sing and dance would be the most awesome life to have. I was part of a small amateur dance group once and is a collection of the best times Ive had. That was just dancing ... I wont delude you or myself to thinking I have any singing ability lol. So I would be Miss Missi singer and dancer extraordinaire! My perfect man would be pretty simple.. and no I dont mean stupid! Just uncomplicated and honest. He would have a huge sense of humour, love to laugh ... and of course enjoy dancing at least somewhat. He would not watch football "every" weekend, he would not be glued to a tv every spare moment, he would enjoy going out in crowds, he would have to enjoy a wide variety of music. Work? well in my dream as long as he didnt want to be a slob and enjoyed work that would be fine by me. He would be a gentleman but not a sucker. Attractive ... to me of course ... but men dont earn attractive often until after they speak ... well often they speak and dont even rate that highly to be honest but we are talking dreams here. He would have a clean style, not rough, not tough, no barbarian. The perfect marriage would be to elope to a beautiful secluded paradise of sorts, no one else. We would enjoy doing everything and nothing together. Of course there would be perfect kids and the perfect house ... nothing austentatious - I dont want to have a high maintenance dream lol, but we would never have to struggle too hard. Sure not much of it realistically achievable in this life but hey ... it never hurts to dream big regardless of reality.

Realistic dreams Ive achieved.

Moving to Queensland. Ive had this dream since I was 16 ... always said ... "one day". Meny people along the way said "yeah-yeah" like they didnt believe it ... right up until I handed the keys to my home there lol. Admittedly in my dream I wasnt sure if I could make it happen, but I held on and mixed a bit of focus and work in making it real. Here I am. I dreamed, I held onto it for so many years and now the dream is reality.

Not turning out to be like my family. As a child and probably up until my mid 20's ... all I ever dreamed of was to be normal. To not be looked at like a product of the bad environment my mum dragged me through, to not be looked upon with pity or shunned for being from "the wrong side of the tracks". So many times spent telling myself this isnt my life and it isnt the way things are meant to be not even knowing how it was supposed to be or how to fix it. Again I held on, and that one was probably the hardest. So many times falling and getting back up on a different track to see which way will lead me to feeling like I am not a walking advertisement for stereotypical outcomes and crying "oh its my parents fault". Here I am though, without talking to me about certain subjects would anyone know I didnt complete more than year 8 at high school, lived on the streets from 15-17 years and come from a highly volatile evironment. The dream is now real ... I can talk to you if your from the streets and earn respect from millionaires and none of them see what I used to be and dreaded people seeing.

To raise my girl without seeing what I saw growing up. The harsher realities of life. Ok so I have cotton balled her in a few areas .. but I dreamed for my child to have everything I didnt. Dont we all though :-). I dreamed that she would know her dad, unlike me. I dreamed that she would have a normal family. I dreamed that she would not witness me drunk, drugged, battered or broken in an environment full of arguments. Ok so I didnt acheive the "typical" normal family .. her dad and I didnt last past her being 6 months, but we are great mates and although we dont live together she is definitely daddy's girl. Although I dont have extended family about his side include us as one of their own too and she is close to them all. She barely even sees alcohol in the place and never witnessed anything remotely like i did growing up. Pretty much dream acheived, she is almost sweet 16 and well unless something big happens she will even be the almost unheard of these days "and never been kissed". She lives at home, doesnt roam streets at night, has never been drunk and wants to get a job soon and complete year 12. I wasnt game to dream of acheiving all this ... and I do owe credit to amazing people who have touched my life that have supported us all the way, especially the few who saw the terrible mess of a human I started out as that wouldnt have taken much to crush into oblivion hehe.

There are many more things I dream and dreams that I have lived. Point to all this people? I actually have one today :-P .... Dare to let yourself dream, dare to live your dreams, dare to reach out, step outside your box, take steps doing what you think is impossible from time to time. How will you grow into something other than a product of society if you dont dare to take hold of the images in your mind and at least try to make some of them happen. No matter how far at the bottom of the pack you think you are .. its never too late .. even if you only acheive a few of your dreams it will make a positive difference to your life. Ok I will never be the singer and dancer I dream of in my mind .... but hey in my mind, in my living room, listeing to my music I still dream the audience I stand in front of and sing and dance to them anyway. Even the unrealistic dreams give you joy to revel in if you let them.

Have a great day and dream big gorgeous people ...

Music n Giggles

2009-10-29T09:43:00.005+10:00

I havent got much inclination to talk too much today but here is some music you can enjoy with me if you like

Just a few of my favourites ... these are all picked for the music and not the video content.

This song is just sexy!

Gives me goose bumps

Touch of Pink Floyd insanity

and give this a watch if you want a good laugh ... its not a personal dig at you Americans ... Im sorry its just damn funny!!!

Well thats my contribution for the day ... at least your eyes got a rest this visit ;-)

Love ya all

Some days ....

2009-10-25T00:22:00.001+10:00

you feel like you can be the bus driver and take control of it all

then theres these days when the world decides it just wants to put every ounce of weight on your shoulders and it just fills your head with crap to the point you just feel like youd rather be under the bus instead. Dont worry its more metaphoric than anything. What can I say, Im human and sometimes it gets like that.

PS .. just so I dont leave you with crazy assumations .... my mums birthday just passed and just over a week away from the 10th anni- nah thats not the word Im looking for and honestly not sure of the word Im looking for their but its been almost 10 years since she passed. I thought by now it would be easier reaching this time of year but as years go on it hits harder. Maybe its all the years I spent not letting a thing out finally catching up with me. Who knows ... Im a bit lost today. Being this time of year I may go quiet for a while but I will be around when Im on the upward bounce.Why blog this? As human as I am I just needed to talk and at the moment this is all I have.

Take care and catch you all when I get my happy face back on.

and to you mum ..

* I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream *

xox

Its been mostly Fun and Games

2009-10-23T07:16:00.001+10:00

Hey Hey beautiful people how are you today? Smiling I hope.

Ive pulled my head in from the online money making game for a bit .... need to re assess a few things before I continue ... 3 losses in a row for me is one too many to continue playing at this time. Of course I never seen the pending payment from Pac For All... not that I was expecting to after they shut shop. I still have not been given my pending payment from Pac Revenue Share and same with Ad Rebates Pro. I will be sticking to the things that may earn very slowly but at least they arent about to shut shop and take my money over night. And simple fact is ... I know the ones I have been earning slowly with pay!!! They dont make tall promises and then go Ooops! Sorry guys we didnt handle that too well.

I have been helping Mattias with the facebook group Get Your Blog Followers for a few weeks now. You can see the button I made for the group to the right there. Mattias has been very kind and has included me as admin as well a moderator so am feeling pretty lucky. Admittedly I only get in their every 2-3 days but spend a few hours when I do. Mattias set this group up to help bloggers get more readers. We do aim to attract members who will also be active and follow others blogs .. not only to follow but become involved and comment on others as well. We can all use a friendly drop in or constructive criticism from time to time. If you are new to blogging and just after some helpful tips then this group is also very helpful. Join, share with us your blog, check out the discussion boards and posts for lots of friendly, interesting people and blogs. Be seen.

Outside that ... Ive been making the most of being an unemployed bum. Ok so Im not quite the complete bum. Adittedly it is driving me somewhat insane not having work, but if I go out and just get any old job then I cut off any assistance I can get to be retrained, which is what I really need. A certificate to show people I know how to work in a shop .... *think thats almost ridicilous sometimes* .... but its going to take a couple of weeks waiting for the information session and then find out the start date. Its in November for about 3 weeks. So until then I am doing something Ive never done and using this time to just waste on mindless stuff just for fun. Im quite over stressing about things.

(Un)fortunately this has had me in the stupid bloody game I came across a couple of weeks back. Evony. Now I dont care if you think it sucks, or you think its this or that or the other. If you dont like it, fine and all good to you. Dont waste my time boring me with your negatives. I dont care if its not the greatest game since space invaders. I have had a lot of fun, which is a big surprise for me. Most games hold my attention at most for a few hours then theyre left in their cd covers to gather dust. This game almost ended up history after a week, but kept getting emails to join another alliance. The one I started in werent very talkative or helpful because they were mainly playing racing games than Evony. So out I bailed into the new alliance. The fun part of this ... a friend who has been staying with me introduced me to the original alliance I bailed from and had been at war with the person who invited me to the new one. For a bit of fun I also gave up his position to the new group so it has been war not only online but offline (but in a fun way). Ok so Im now called a traiterous spy, and maybe those actions are that of a traiterous spy ... but hey it was worth it to liven the game up somewhat. I figure it only matters that I stand by the new alliance and well they were calling for information I had .. . what else was I to do lol. So now I live with the enemy bwahahaha! Only disappointment I have in all this is that my flatmates castle would take me 13 hours to hit damnit! Prolly a good thing ... with the low troop numbers I have it would only be suicide mission for fun. Only part of this game that can suck ... is the waiting time ... as it all happens in real time whether your on it or not. Ok so now Im becoming a game geek too! Yes I need to get out more ... and i probably will soon ... but for now Im having fun building my land, my army and the alliance so I can plunder the virtual world Ive been living in recently. Speaking of ... here I go again ... 1 minute til I attack one lake, 3 minutes for a 2nd lake, another round of troops to add to the production line and some scouting to see if theres anything I can attack.

At least you know Im still about and thinking of you all.

MMMmmmmwahs!

Captain Knight Missi over n out!

PS to a wee special someone, you know who you are.

People on pedastools only ever fall so dont fear you'll never sit on one here.

PPS

2 lakes taken over wo0o0o0ot ... desert next!

THE BEST Snuggie ad and other giggles

2009-10-17T11:36:00.002+10:00

10:38AM

This had me giggling all the way through ....

.... and am still giggling posting it ... says everythig I think about it

Thats all just for now ... I may be back later with some more ... just had to distract my surfing to give you this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
12:08 PM

Back again ... This post is just so well done I just to share it. Very well written, as I found all the posts on this blog to be so far. I hope you enjoy

Check it out here

Here I go again on my merry trip of finding random ways to pass a day ....

Pssst ..... Got a Present For You Blondie ...

2009-10-16T09:29:00.001+10:00

Hey Blondie ..... Thought you could use a little gift for your 2 Year Bloggerversary. Heres to you. I am glad to have gotten to know you in this big wild web. You have taught me new things and been a part of giving me new experiences, helped me make a bit of cash without too many bites on the bum (without your help in the beginning of my journey I would not have made my financial goal to move states and am eternally appreciative of that) lol. You have looked out for me and been a great support to have online. Chin up, we love you! Hugs!

Follow here or you can find the link at the top of my page if you too would like to introduce yourself or wish Blondie a Happy Bloggin Anniversary. She is a really good soul.

Bloody Virus! Heres the fix .....

2009-10-16T01:16:00.002+10:00

Ahhhhhhhh! Pull my hair out and call me bald! Actually dont do that I like having hair. Just spent hours trying to rid my pc of a stupid virus! I stumbled across a strange key in my registry while cleaning up a few keys that were left behind when I deleted a program. sdra64.exe. Following the link will take you to some information on the virus.

The key you are looking for is

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows NT\CurrentVersion\Winlogon

and if it shows the string

C:\Windows\System32\Userinit.exe,C:\Windows\System32\sdra64.exe

Then ayup you got it! Ive read that it can bypass most of the best antivirus and spyware cleaners and remain undetected. It can also stop you from being able to install an antivirus as well as having the ability to both turn off your anti virus and shut down your computer. Deleting the above string alone wont get rid of it as it will re-install every time you reboot unless you get rid of it completely. It falls into the category of info stealer but I am aware that if present can cause a number of issues.

So being curious off I trek to find out what it is because I have never noticed this last bit in my registry before ... I know my registry fairly well as I have fixed a number of issues with it over the years.Even if you unhide system and hidden folders you will most likely not find the file in the system32 folder to be able to delete it.
I couldnt find the file until I booted into safe mode where I could see the file but still unable to delete it. So here are the steps to rid yourself of this nasty little *cough* f (insert any relevant word you like here) ker.

To remove this I found these steps to be the only 1 of 3 fixes I tried

Firstly

Go to START > RUN > MSCONFIG

Choose SELECTIVE START UP

untick all 4 boxes

Go to the BOOT.INI tab

Check SAFEBOOT and chose MINIMAL (found next to the safeboot option)

Reboot your computer into safe mode and log into ADMINISTRATOR.

Go START > RUN > REGEDIT

The easiest way to search is to go to the EDIT menu and chose FIND.

Type in sdra64.exe and ok to search.

To find it manually refer to the key in pink at the beginning of the post to locate in your registry.

Double click the USERINIT key in the right pane

You will notice it will look like this

C:\Windows\System32\Userinit.exe,C:\Windows\System32sdra64.exe,

Delete the area I have highlighted in pink above so that the key looks like this :

C:\Windows\System32\Userinit.exe

Now go to C: (or your main OS drive) > WINDOWS folder > SYSTEM32 folder. You should now be able to find the file but more than likely it still wont let you delete it. If you cannot fnid the file, make sure you have your folders unhidden.

(To unhide folders go to TOOLS menu and select FOLDER OPTONS from the drop down list.)

If you can see it but cannot delete it

You may also need to reset the permissions on the file. To do this simply RIGHT CLICK on the file and choose PROPERTIES.

Select the SECURITY tab.

Chose DENY for all permissions

Make sure PERMISSION INHERITENCE is unchecked

hit (not punch :-P) APPLY and/or OK

Now you should be able to delete the file easy as. Make sure you also delete the file from your recycle bin.

Restart in SAFE MODE

Go back to your registry and have a look to make sure the sdra64.exe file is no longer attached to your user init key (following the steps above if you are not to savvy at finding your way around the registry).

Before you restart your computer again go back to

START > RUN > MSCONFIG

and choose normal start up.

Reboot your computer. If your as lucky as me it should be all gone.

If not I'll be scratching my head as much as you.

Let me know how you go if you had a similar issue or found this helpful in any way.

Ok .. virus' found and conquered , post made oh and look just in time to get 4 or 5 hours sleep if my computer gives me permission to bed now.

Ciao for now beautiful people

Stuff

2009-10-15T10:39:00.000+10:00

Ive been here and there, doing this and that and most of it of any real great importance to anyone including myself ... but hey its better than being bored and miserable.

I stole the following comment from 9PlanetReviews blog tody (I hope you dont mind JS) .... I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Dont forget to go visit JS blog and have a read ... he has many interesting views and opinions on various topics.

Another entry in the js Journal, same day:

"Do not preach to the world. It does not need saving (I'd now say does not WANT saving). Live it and you will be a guiding Light." - wow, I should listen to myself! That's why am going over my Journals.

Why try save something that cannot first attempt to save itself?

You should have noticed the new chat box . I took the last one off since A) very few poeple used it and B) well it didnt actually work too well ... I was forever having to refresh my browser in order to get any chat messages which I found frustrating as so ditched it. Although not so many choose to chat I still wanted a one there for those interested in having a natter while your visiting my page. I do like this chat box much better than the last as it gave me the ability to use my own picture background and can use it to chat with my existing messenger contacts also. Upon testing it with a friend thismorning I am so far quite happy with this being a free widget. If you would like one for your own site follow the link under the chat box to the XAT site.

Ive also been playing with cool iris, the picture walls you may notice on my blog. Im loving it ... makes accessing pictures you have stored on your computer as well as websites so much easier to view. I used Picasa web albums to upload my photos too where you can just put the link of the album you want to share into Cooliris and post it directly to your Blogger. It will post to other platforms too but am sorry as I only wanted it for blogger I failed to take in the information on where else you can post it to with the click of a button. Otherwise just get the code and paste it directly into the code of the site you wish to display your wall. You can also create slideshows with cooliris.Anywhooo ... I think its a bit of fun so if you like displaying pictures or just want a new toy this is a simply cool one.

Ive added some extra link bars and am going to start including links to tips on many things that I stumble across, think is helpful or I otherwise have used. Those who know me well know how I love to play with photoshop, website coding and all sorts of computer related stuff from software to hardware. Over the years I have picked up many tid bits of information that has helped me not have to either A) take my computer to a techie to fix ... or B) take up a course to learn different skills - not necessarily all computer related. Im definitely no master in any area but I do hope that eventually I will some interesting lists of tips and tricks to help you in a variety of areas. If there is anything in particular you would find helpful and like to see here or have a great site to recommend then please email mi and I will assess its suitability to be included on my site. Please ... STRICTLY no porn - hard, soft or otherwise. I am happy to help you promote your site or blogs by including it in my lists if you are happy to do the simple courtesy of a link on your page in return but your page MUST not be offensive to people in general. Just email mi the details if you would like to be added and I will be in touch with 72 hours. In most cases it will be much shorter time but some days I am simply too busy to keep up with my emails.

Hmmmm .... what else is in my random grey mass today ... Still awaiting a withdrawal request from PAC RS and am starting to get nervous this will end up just like P4A. Im still living in hope they wont burn me on oth cheeks ... but so be it if they do. Still got my fingers crossed ladies ... Im trying to keep positive that you are doing the right thing but your making it hard to believe. Lucky Im not holding my breath over it cuz I think Id be dark shade of purple by now lol.

What else.... can you believe Im actually not able to think of anything ... well thats not true entirely ... Im thinking of a million and one things as usual ... but all of them are things that are about to drag my butt offline for a while. I hope you all have an awesome day.

Later alligators!

What would You like?

2009-10-14T08:30:00.010+10:00

Gday beautiful people. Hope you are all as fabulous as ever.

I learnt yesterday why I dont where heels! What on earth are you fashionistas and women thinking!!! The pain for the vanity is barely worth it .... ok so it could have more to do with the fact they were new as well but hey I actually have a good excuse to sit at my computer today with 2 dirty great big blisters on the souls of my feet, not that I actually have to have an excuse to be here lol.

Caught a cab home with the shopping since my car has stuffed up and has a list of things I need to save up to have looked at ... damn it! He turned out to be Mr Personality plus! And yes I mean that with the heaviest layer of sarcasm I can put into it. Tried to make polite conversation getting in and he could barely even acknowledge there was a human in his cab. Taking off you would think he was racing the invisible car next to him. The taxi sounded like it was about to drop its guts somewhere. I would normally tip a cab driver having had a few close friends in the industry I know they dont have a very high income in general ... but this one I was almost considering deducting a fee from his fare. The ride got me wishing it was like the old days ... when you could get into a cab, give the driver the address, and he knew where to go. In alot of cases you could get into a cab and the cabbie knew you and where you lived and this wasnt a concern, it wsa more a courtesy once upon a time and well I remember the cabbies actually used to be friendly in most cases. Oh well how things change. Society grows, moves forward and in most cases just breeds ugly in large groups. This cab isnt the first one Ive caught up here where I have had to give direction to some of the easiest to know landmarks .... Ive only been here a relatively short time myself and seems I know my way around better than some of these cabbies. One I caught earlier in the week even took 5 minutes to find Movie World on his silly GPS unit .... only one of the biggest attractions here! So Ive learnt this week cab service is more often than not another crap experience! Almost as annoying as stupid call centers. The only thing more annoying than a cabbie that doesnt know where he is going ... is one that cannot understand a word you say and makes you want to spew as you are engulfed in and trappd by the horrid stench of what smells like they havent showered and rolled in garlic and onions for a week. Things I htink you need these days to catch a cab ... your own GPS unit for the moments your cabbie doesnt know how to use his own, carry a can of deodorant, you will need it not only to spray the driver but yourself so you dont carry the stink with you when you get out, carry a translator so you can communicate the basics with them at least. At least one thing Ive learnt .... kick a fuss and deduct a couple of bucks for your training fees from your cab fare.As I said ... I will tip a cabbie on top of a full fare if he is at least polite and knows how to use and listen to his GPS unit for directions, I know some of these guys do long hours for crap pay in a lot of cases, but be stuffed am I paying a full fare for a bad service .... wouldnt do it with a restaurant or any other service and to me this is no different.

Isnt it funny what you do in your sleep. Well I guess you wouldnt know if your asleep and have no one to embarass you with it. I spent the night before last online ALL night playing with the code for my blog and game that has me hooked at the moment. So with having watched the night pass and the sun come up, I wake my daughter for school and thought it would be an idea to just pop my head down on the couch for a few moments before I went to the shop. Bad move ... that was the end of me. Anyhow ... after my girl got home from school she asks me "did you find those nail clippers yet?". My brain stops .... was I meant to find them? I didnt know what she was on about so I reply "nooooo, when was I meant to do that?" knowing there was obviously somethig I was forgetting about. She tells me "thismorning I asked you" .... laughs .... " thought you were still asleep" she adds. I giggle "why"... ayup I was asleep. Then she goes on to tell me that when she asked .... I half raised myself off the couch, the half that didnt have my head on the cushion and proceeded to look under the other couch cushion only to tell her apparently "I cant find them so will keep looking for you". There was no further looking involved .. my awake brain knew exactly where they were when she asked in the afternoon and I can tell you I dont keep them under the couch cushions, Im still wondering why my sleepy head would have started looking under there, but think oh well I tried to find them lol. All I could do was laugh when she told me.

Ok so whats this all got to do with the title today? Nothing really .... I was just babbling as I do. The title what would you like? I would like to know what you would get a kick out of seeing on here. What do you find amusing, interesting, useful. Sorry boys there are other sites for that stuff ... you wont be seeing it here ;-P .... Its all good if my scattered babble keeps you entertained ... and I enjoy the babble ... always great therapy for me whatever Im raving about. Im just looking for ideas to keep things interesting for you.

Keep smiling my dear friends!

xox-Missi-xox

I havent forgotten you

2009-10-12T13:46:00.002+10:00

This will be a quick one ... just wanted to say sorry I havent been around and let you know I havent forgotten about you and my promise to get my page back to something hopefully interesting to some.

Aside from my internet being slowed down to worse than snail pace and being unbearable to deal with too many pages Ive just taken some time out the past week to lick the salt from my Pac 4 All wounds. Yes I am one of the unlucky ones who didnt get out in time for this one to not hurt and unfortunately the biggest risk Ive ever made online but hey ... thats the way the wind blows. I knew the fire I was playing with at least. Anyone who choses to play the money making game ... do follow the advice of not spending what you cannot afford to lose. Just stop and think .. would you put that much into a poker machine? If you say no to that then accept the risks are almost the same online no matter how good or glossy something looks to be. Ask questions and get informed and think seriously before you risk even 1 cent. Having said that .... I may be lucky to recover at least some of my losses. I have requested a withdrawal from PAC RS, which if paid will ease at least some of the pain of my loss here. I am not saying they wont ... Im just hoping things arent so bad for the admins that they dont. Im not going to recommend or not recommend this program ... I will recommend you be very aware and careful of anything you place your cash and hope into online.

I have been drowning my sorrows in an online game called Evony. Im not really sure how long it will keep my interest for becaue it seems the longer you play the longer things in it get to build and achieve in it but for the past few days it has been great to immerse myself into something new, almost mindless and not take any notice of the problems and stress that has been my last few weeks.

Will be back soonish beautiful people ... Im never that far away.

xox-Missi-xox

I fixed code ... w0o0o0o0o .... the new look is working

2009-10-04T08:39:00.003+10:00

I figured that no matter how I manipulate the code that the only way to fix my problem was to remove the "read more" link feature from my blog altogether and that returned all the alignments the way it should be ..... just would have looked nicer with shorter posts and giving you the option to continue reading but oh well Im not spending another battling the code because I want to start work on a new site for a friend and maybe even add some new content to at last 1 of my 2 other sites that have been neglected for the past couple of weeks.I really do wonder sometimes why I cannot just do 1 thing at a time. Its like being on top of 1 thing is just no challenge but losing track and being behind in 100 things is a rush I enjoy.Yes even my friends call me strange at the best of times. Oh and my somewhat empty sidebars will have some more content added in the coming days, Im trying to find some different and interesting things to put up.

My little buddy Chuckles has just joined me at the keyboard .... hes a funny little budgie .... sitting on my arm as I type here crunching away . I read somewhere when they make that crunching sound its a sign of contentment. Glad hes content - makes typing a tad difficult with a bird on your arm though - however with practise Im getting there lol, I want to type and he wants to sleep. Ive put him back in his cage but hes adamant that he wants to sleep on me for now. For those who do not know, as I have not mentioned my Chuckles for a while, is a small grey budgerigar. He has a vocabulary of around 30 words - see I have a life outside my computer and teenage daughter, I have pets to talk to. I actually own 2 budgies, I have kitty as well. Why Kitty for a bird? Its lame. I am teaching Chuckles to say "here kitty". Unfortunately he keeps saying Kimmi ... the name of our female bird who escaped flew away a few months back. Although he is occasionally saying Kitty after alot of repetitive talk. Oh wicked I finally have my arm back and awwwww hes sitting on my shoulder and resting his beak on my cheek. How cute.

A couple of quick mentions

You gotta go check ou the Hermit Jims blog today .... his post is very funny ... well have to admit guys may see it a bit funnier than some woman maybe ... but hey if you have a sense of humour either way have a look it is worth it for a giggle.

Also have to say a special thanks to the Guys of The Guys Perspective ... a blog I stumbled upon and have been enjoying now over the last couple of months. They have included me in a lsit of blogs they are sharing in a post along with others on their blog. I am touched Guys. I appreciate the link, the comment and the time you spend sharing and dropping by. If you havent already stopped by the guys perspective make time to do so it is time well spent.

I stumbled across another blog yesterday that I have began to follow and have added to my list called My Life In A Morgue. It is REALLY well written. Ok so its not for everyone - it is written by someone who is a death investigator and it will ask you to verify you are ok with adult content to enter the blog - nothing in there I personally find could be offensive so far and theres no sexual content that ive seen, definitely nothing seedy. I read numerous posts and found myself looking forward to reading the next one. No Im no emo or into death - I would live forever given the choice, this person is just does a great job telling the stories they do.

Ok shutting up for now and moving on to get a start on this new sie for a friend.

And remember when you cant smile and your stuck with a frown ... turn your body upside down and sit on your head. I figure if you cant laugh yourself you should at least try to give someone else a giggle ... even you gotta admit youd look funny sitting on your head.

Ciao for now beautiful beings

xox-Missi-xox

Psssst ..... What do you think? --- errr I mean oops for now

2009-10-03T17:12:00.004+10:00

Whats worse dreaming of manipulating code all night or spending the whole day since actually doing it? Hehehehe.

I wont bombard you with words for now. I need a rest from the computer for a while ..... serious brain drain. I will be back to decide what Im going to fill up my sidebars with later.

I do hope you enjoy the new look.

*** UPDATE ***

Theres some missing rock now .. I started to use the new blogger editor and thought I would make use of the "read more"- jump feature so my posts werent all so long on the page and you could choose yourself if you wanted to read on but it has knocked out the center section between header and footer and moved my left column beneath the posts in the center column. I have twigged and tweaked and Im lost as to how to get it all back at the moment .... anyone with hints on how to fix this one greatly appreciated. For now I bid you all gnite and apologies for the "missing" piece of my page. I hope to rectify it tomorrow .... for now Im hopefully not going to dream any more code. Sweet dreams gorgeous people.

xox-Missi-xox

Just a natter

2009-10-01T07:24:00.011+10:00

I read a quote the other week on a friends wall that has been stuck in my mind for some reason .....

"There are people who make things happen, there are people who watch things happen, there are people who wonder why it happened, and there are people who wonder what happened"

I guess I was having a reflective moment when I came to realise I am ALL of the above. I mostly make things happen .... learnt long ago served on silver platters and fed with the silver spoon is not my destiniy in life, the universe will rarely ever give you what you do not seek for yourself. I often take time to watch what happened .... whether it was done by me or someone else, I like to watch ... its a very useful learning tool. There are many things that make me wonder why, addictively curious about almost anything I dont know or understand, forever wondering why... not to mention how, and yes I have been accused of thinking too much at times. As for wondering what happened, in my experience that normally only follows a good night on the vodka .... luckily? that hasnt happened in a long time hehehehe.

My new computer is an absolute dream now that I have the OS issues sorted. My new copy of XP arrived the day before yesterday, sucked in microsux! You STILL didnt get any more money out of me and NO my disc is not a pirated copy :-P. Just goes to show you, look after people and they will more often than not look after you right back. I love my friends.

So I spent the last few days in photoshop .... Obscure Labyrinth has a new look coming, although am still trying to adjust the coding so my blog sits over the image right. I think it should get easier every time to do ... but the coding side really does do my head in, stupidly enouh its the kind of challenge I love. I wish I knew enough to make a working blogger template from scratch instead of only having the ability to hack someone elses code to fit, but oh well need a guru to help me understand more before that happens.

Teenagers are funny things, with all the accusations of ruining my daughters life by coming here, her tantrums about wanting to move back to Adelaide and all the effort she put into trying to get me to go too it seems that since I put my foot down and said nup, no more crap, not doing it and told her to deal with it my daughter seems happier than ever. No backlash from changing my mind like I was expecting, not a tear, no pushing to leave without me .... although I have her dad on my side now with the decision of her staying here until she finishes school so she will find it wont be so easy if she does start down that road again. She helped me unpack a few boxes and even volunteered to mop the floors a few days ago, not only did she volunteer .... she actually did it too!!! Im finally a believer of miracles do happen! I feel good that we didnt leave and that she is actually seeming to give things a real go now. You just never can tell which way these time bombs wll explode sometimes.

Im still not working. Admittedly I havent been looking too hard at the moment for the first time in my life either because Im getting some assistance from the government to be retrained. I have another appointment tomorrow to see what the next step is. Unfortunately the only thing I have a lot of "proven" work experience in is in bar & waitressing. After 15 years of it Im just over it! Im sick of having to be nice to rude people, over the pain in my arms from carpal tunnel and carrying trays, tired of long hours rushed off my feet and being pushed past my limits for bosses who really at the end of the day couldnt give two hoots because it is such an area that you are always made sure to know you are replaceable if you dont give your life at the drop of a hat to be there. I have seen a woman at a job network agency who is going to push for me to get into a retail course in steps towards finding my way into working in a computer shop. Would rather be doing the repairs on pc's ... or other electronic gadgets would be cool .... but hoping I dont have to start in sales, although I will if need be to get my foot in a door. I know Id just rather be working where both my hands and brain are challenged and kept busy.

Ok well I dont know about you but I need a coffee. Time to stop my yabbering and give this coding another go to see if I cant share my new blog design with you by the end of the day ... if not at least by the end of the week ... I hope.

Enjoy and Keep smiling beautiful people

xox-Missi-xox

Watching the dust settle

2009-09-25T06:25:00.012+10:00

Goodmorning gorgeous people! I hope this greets you well and happy! If not sit on your head so you at least look like your smiling while your reading this ...... or more like an over ripe tomato after 5 minutes of blood rushing to your head :-P. Grab ya coffee, sit back & relax. I'll try not to talk too much, lucky for you .... I am feeling really chatty today and feel like I could write a book if Im not careful lol.

So for now I'll shhhh cuz Ive got some pics to share ... we had a huge dust storm here in Oz this week, hit quite a large area somewhere in the vicinity of 1000km's or so. I saw some on facebook commenting about dust, and not having seen the news which is not unusual for me, I didnt think too much of it. In Adelade theres always a few days where dust is blown in from the north to the point your whites on the lines become a rusty shade of red so it didnt seem like anything out of the ordinary ... until I sat here at my pc watching this view

(to the right off my balcony)

(to the left over the broadwater)
(both taken thismorning)

a normally beautiful thing to look at but within 20 minutes it had turned to this

(To the right- zoomed in)

(no zoom)

(The Broadwater view)

(back to the right near 10 minutes later)
(no zoom)

(zoomed in again)

(and then another 20 minutes passes)
(zoom)

(no zoom)and how weird does the sun look?!

By the next day it had all returned to normal again. I hear theres meant to be more coming but so far all looks well out... mind you so it was the day the dust settled at this time too lol.

Oh and heres some pics from the weekend when we were on the boat

My girls first Jet ski ride ........
and yes that her driving it!

I got a ride on it too, it was only my 2nd time on one but no driving experience for me

BUT...... Heres me in control of the boat instead

See that white place on the right?

Well I drove the boat past that ...

From WAYYYYY past those last signs ... all up I think it was about 5kms or so anyway
Dangling our feet in the water off the back as we go
Did I mention how awesome a day we had?

I am still trying to set my pc up right ...... oh did I mention a new computer?, so I can upload the pics from my phone which has full view of the boat I drove - about 40 something ft I was told. Will get them up soon as I can.

Ok ... so yes new computer. I got so0o0o0o0 over my old clunker that when I pulled the pin on moving interstate again I decided that I deserved to buy me a new computer that kicks butt - funny I did this in reverse when I planned to move to QLD aboout 8-10 yrs ago and pulled the pin hehehe. This time though I bought the parts and built it myself. I dont have to sit and wait for this one to make a coffee, have a think and scratch its ass for 10 minutes in between every action any more ... and my cpu usage which has always been pushing 100% for the best part of every day is now a steady 1-5%. I love having a computer that responds well for a change. Not to mention a wireless mouse and keyboard WITH letters!!! - I had an old foldable that my budgies loved to attack so you could see maybe quarter of the letters on the keys. People hated using it becasue most of them had to keep asking me where this and that letter was hehehehe! I didnt mind though, I prefer it when people dont touch my computer anyway. So all pretty good it would be much more enjoyable though if I could just get the operating system side of things going smoothly! I didnt buy a new OS for it, considering I have already my own that Ive had and used for years I figured I could use the extra cash and buy a new OS down the track. Excited my hardware was all together and running I begin to install as I would normally - not thinking of the fact that my xp home is an upgrade disk. It never posed an issue before and I have deleted, created partitions, replaced, reformatted drives, re-installed and reactivated too many times to count with my *cough* "learning experiences" over the years. Never needed a technician in to fix any of my ... or others ... screw ups.

This time all of a sudden my xp key is invalid!!! This is a copied disc .... I copied it from my original which died years ago. It is NOT illegally pirated, shared or stolen and it has never been cracked or hacked in any way. So onto microsoft, they tell me they cannot help me because it is a copy of the original and not the original ... however they said I need to have another OS on before I use my xp upgrade. Either way even THEY cant seem to create me a valid key for it even though they tried getting me to change the product key a few times. AHHHHH! Ok .. so off with xp and in with 98 .... yet another LEGAL version, original disc and book! But YAY! 98 cannot initialise ... not enough memory. WTF?!?!? I have 4 gig of memory now! Only to learn 98 wont run on a pc with 4gb RAM because it cannot access it. MS told me I need to have a technician install 98 and that they no onger offer phone support for it. A technician to install software? ME!!! I think NOT! Ok so I did eventually find a way to get 98 to access more memory and boot up ... but its such a process I really just couldnt be stuffed with over the last few days with having to try sort things to find work put my home back in order on the list of my things to do. I could have looked for a crack ... Ive found them and used them on other systems in the past "just for testing purposes" of course but Im lucky a friend has sourced an original xp for me so decided I will wait for that, although I know I can always find a way to do it I do prefer not use hacked software in MOST cases ... it was however found in Tasmania so have to wait until it arrives in the post .... I so0o0o0o hope today. Ill crack this one (just like I told MS phone support I would do with their lack of help) before I spend a whole weekend without being able to play with the things I love. I am trying to avoid having to re-install everything twice. So many things rely on stupid service pack 1 or 2 to be installed before they work. From my phone software, messenger, some of my hardware drivers, my 3d chat room ..... most things that keep me connected and entertained just wont work until I can get the stupid (insert many defamatory words against MS) service packs.

Fingers x'd my new OS arrives today so I can at least get those things running until I save up and kick XP in the ass all together. Ive been hearing some REALLY good reviews from people who have been lucky to experience using windows 7 so far, but not so sure its actually released here .... the date Oct 22 comes to mind for some reason but knowing me that could be to do with anything lol. All in all though ... I do have to say I LOVE my new computer!!!

I know once I iron out these OS issues I will be flying. Im excited about getting photoshop in and seeing how fast that will work for me now wo0o0o0o, ok ... getting lame, dribbling, warned ya I was chatty didnt I? :-P. Ok if youre still with me ... I'll give you a rest, put the kettle on then go distract myself with some domestic duties until the mail man arrives.

Ciao for now my lovelies.

xox-Missi-xox

Experiences ... Pac For All - Impressive!!!

2009-09-22T17:33:00.004+10:00

Now it has been a long time since I have been really excited to rave about a money making program. Most I find are so similar to the last I generally I overlook them and go slowly with the small but honest earners instead of chasing the hype, the dreams and big bucks all over the cyberworld only to find myself drained financially or otherwise. I tend to take little steps alongside also being no huge advertiser. I regard money making online a hobby more than I view it as a business.

My approach to making money online is to make money only with money I have earnt online, so generally only participate in anything that is only a few bucks here and there. A couple of occasions only have I taken the chance on spending money out of my own pocket ... the first time was with 10 Dollarswonder, which those of us who know it WAS good in its day, and it turned out a good judgement there because I made some nice money for someone who was a total newbie to it all and began with $20.00 in their paypal from completing surveys, but please note I no longer recommend to join ... it is still spitting out a few cents randomly but I highly doubt you will make money there now.

I played with a few things since but nothing has REALLY gone like WOW for me (mostly due to my own efforts more than anything) ... until recently. I had a payment from 10 DW and decided to spend it on joining in on the PAC fashion that seems to have hit the money making world over the months, starting with PAC FOR ALL. There is so much positive feedback through blogs and forums that I couldnt avoid the curiosity.

With what I saw in my first 2 rounds I was game enough to put in several hundred from my own pocket which has now expired and been paid on. I am VERY impressed .... so impressed I put most of it back in again and spread the rest around a few other places including my own pocket. Its always good to not just rely on one form of income.

The stats .....

These are the amounts that have expired and been paid

First deposit $10.00 ...... 12 days go by
Withdrawn $14.40
Profit $ 4.40

2nd deposit $14.40 ......another 12 days go by
Withdrawn $ 20.16
Profit $ 5.76

(Thats double my money in 2 weeks!)

Third Deposit $500.00 ...... and you guessed it ... 12 more days
Withdrawn $ 720.00
Profit $220.00

Made yesterday
Fourth deposit $500.00 .... and 11 days to go
Expect $720.00
Profit Expected $220.00

That will be $440.00 in 2 weeks!!!!!

If you havent got a few bucks in here right now .... even a small amount you are seriously missing out on an easy way of making a little extra money. Its a no brainer really ... its your loss by not joining. It is paid upon expiry and I have ALWAYS been paid in LESS than 24 hours of my request and the admin keep you well informed.

Try and see the bank give you that kind of interest OR service hey!

I have used some of the profits to join Pac Revenue Share which from what Ive seen people saying around the web to be just as promising. Now Pac RS are a little different to PAC FOR ALL in that you need to surf a minimum of sites each day but that will take you no more than 10 minutes to do ... and the more you surf the more hits you get to the sites you are advertising as well. They offer 2 plans ... Im about to have dinner so please go and check them out for yourself and decide which suits you.

I have 3 deposits in Pac RS. First one was $5.00 on the 135% plan and so far has crawled. Im expecting this to take some time to mature. The 2nd deposit of $10.00 is on the 12 x12 plan which is just like PAC FOR ALLs ... that will mature in a few days at $14.40 = $4.40 profit. I also deposited $100.00 yesterday on the 12 x 12 and am expecting to see a $44.40 return on top of that at the end of the 12 days. So there you have it ... new excitement for me being able to share something really positive in the money making world.

With that .... you can either join me for dinner, go make some money ... or hey why the heck not both! Enjoy beautiful people.

PS .... Still got some new personal pics to come, just gotta find which box I packed the camera-pc cable in hehehe. Yes we're still unpacking slowly lol.

...... Oh a little randomness b4 I go, but may make sense to someones prying eyes ;-) - I hope - mirror, mirror on the wall some things are the hardest of them all .... hang in there my friend, the sun shines in most mysterious ways for those who try to do good. One can only admire a person who gives the hard yards an honest shot to get through. Loyalty is so special yet often too rare a trait in this world where too many give up and turn away with far too much ease. A true gem and good peole that are so hard to find. Dont forget to be kind to yourself while you are pleasing others. Dont take for granted what you do and pat yourself on the back when deserved.

Desiderata

2009-09-21T08:19:00.004+10:00

Just a quick stop ... huge day ahead. Found this in my travels. I like it.

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there
may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull
and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real
possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for
high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the
things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings; many fears are
born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the
stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is
unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of
life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and
broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside that .... I know its a bit sudden, call me crazy, yes I have my weird and wonderful ways .... but the move is off. Decided to put my foot down last week. No more indecision, no more putting things on hold, no more talk of moving - well not for quite some time anyway. I didnt want to go and the closer it was getting the more miserable I was getting about the whole idea and my daughter wasnt making ANY of it easier, but she can just learn to adjust and stop giving me unnecessary crap. Head down, bum up, finish school here then see where lifes at. We will lose far too much and gain way too little by going now. Ok so I lost a nice chunk of $'s from the removalist who was due here in 2 days! ... but its a load much easier to carry. Now I can focus on getting work and life moving forward again. I think in time to come she will thank me for it ..... and you know what, after all the fuss she made about wanting to go, then no, then yes, then no, then driving me insane ..... when I told her we were staying it was like water off a ducks back. I was expecting the argument, some tears, hearing how I am ruining her life again ... but nope it was fine AND she even offered to help unpack the household where as she didnt go to much effort to help pack anything outside her stuff! Ohhhhh what fun this rollercoaster life can be ... (and yes there was a very slight hint of sarcasm there lol).

So with life moving on spent an awsome day out on a friends boat yesterday - chance to show my daughter one of the opportunitites we wouldnt have back south. I was allowed to drive it about 5ks home, and it was no little tin dingy either, wo0o0o0o! Now THAT was pretty cool. Second time Ive driven a boat now .... starting to think I may be getting an interest in gaining a boat license at some stage. Also got to go on a jet ski - well passenger on back .... however my girl got to drive the jet ski fr a while. Had another friend there filming some promotional stuff (the main aim of the day) who got some good video footage of her driving it. She also had another friend from school their and had an absolute blast of a time. Will post some pics thisevening when Ive got everything I have to get done finished.

Well ... off to get the wheels in motion ... Mission 1 for the day ... Turn the music up, unpack my home and put it back together LMAO!!!!

Mission 2 ... jobhunting

Mission 3 ... have a bloody great day!

Hope you do too!

Ciao for now gorgeous people

xox - Missi xox

Einstein

2009-09-18T07:11:00.007+10:00

Im sorry if you thought I was talking about the genius ... but nope. I just wanted to share the abilities of this most cool bird ... whos nameis Einstein. You MUST check him out! Wish I knew how to train my budgie to talk on cue like that. Enjoy!

I want to spend a moment to thank Mattias who has given me the honour of being a moderator in his facebook group Get Your Blog Followers. This is also an invitation to any of you who may be interested in joining. This groups aim is to provide a way for bloggers to connect, communicate and share tips, tricks and other knowledge about blogging and how to best gain visitors to your blog and how to keep them coming back. In this role I will do my best to offer assistance to those who are need it and try to bring to the group some handy information, if Idont have the answer you need I will do my best to find it. We are on our way towards 300 members in the group ... the more the merrier!

Im off to continue packing and organising ... yes Im still going through with the move back interstate. Im still in half a mind to call the whole move off and do what I want but guess Ive come too far now to put the breaks on. Shrugs ... life will end me up wherever it will.

Have a wonderful day

xox-Missi-xox

Whammy!

2009-09-17T07:02:00.005+10:00

Ive noticed raising teenagers is a bit like playing with computers. When you get them home you realise the guy at the store conveniently forgot to tell you about the ongoing costs with the million and one OTHER things you need to buy for them to fully function. They throw you issues for no apparent reason right at the times you need things to work smoothly, from the time you press the button to turn them on they will take an hour to fully boot up .... and thats if your lucky, teenagers have more boot up glitches than you could put in a book! Theyre easy for others to hack into and take control of, even the best antivirus hasnt figured out how to stop the "feral friends" or "hoodlums" virus that initiate the "wagging school", "lying" and "hanging out on the streets at night" programs that come with no uninstall and are hidden so deep in the system files theyre hard to detect. These programs also run in stealth mode so you can have them running without even knowing about it for quite some time if this option is set. If you put in a command that contains any of these words :" clean, dishes, responsibility or work" then they just hang or crash until you give up trying to fix the problem .... if keep trying you may face the blue scream of death every time you restart. Then they will resume working like nothing happened if you choose to plug in any of the "friends, fun or money" peripherals or run the "going somewhere cool", "favourite bands" or "shopping software". Once put in if you choose to unplug or uninstall any of these then you will likely face CPU (crap! parents unfair!) overlaod and possibly risk complete shut down! The biggest similarity of all, is how regularly they both make me go AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Lucky I can do that in my head so I dont disturb the neighbours!

So what got me thinking all this? Well ..... What a whammy! I get informed last night my daughter is having 2nd thoughts about wanting to leave the Gold Coast!!! How gutted do I feel! I personally never wanted to leave but she had me in a position of leave with her or learn to live without her as she was going to live with her dad if I didnt go, pitting my life long dream of living up here against what I think is being a good mum. Now we're all organised and 7 days due to leave and she tells me that she actually is starting to enjoy it up here and has been thinking shed rather stay, even though the day I paid for the removalist last week she was 200% sure she wouldnt want to stay. Now I dont know what the hell to do! It wasnt an easy decision for me to return. Ive lost weeks being able to find work because of the move, IF I cancel and stay I lose money for nothing through the bookings, Im sure the landlord wont mind stopping the advertising for this place and be fine to stay as no one has looked at it yet, but am sure I will get penalised there too IF I dont go. OMG! These kids sure know how to rock your world!

So here I sit once again thinking what the hell do I do now! Do I go now that all is planned? Damn ! I even have work lined up! Do I take the losses and the disappointment from those looking forward to our return next week and battle on up here? I dont know what the right thing to do is right now. Occasionally I get so tired doing this on my own all the time, its ok though ... they are only moments. I wonder why it is so hard to make sense of these alien teenage brains when we've already been there, done that ..... think having been through it we'd understand more, dont you?, but even though for me it feels like it was only yesterday .... understand? nope not much at all.

Will have an attempt at making some sense out of her thinking thisafternoon and see which upside down way our world is going to be turned.

Well I have a lot to get through so better get into it, sorry for sharing the confusion, just needed to clear my head a bit.

Have a great day beautiful people!

xox-Missi-xox

Dont Underestimate YOUR Value

2009-09-15T09:10:00.003+10:00

Now Im not talking your financial or asset value. These things are somewhat important ... more so for some than others. The value Im referring to is your inner value which is absolutely priceless and so very often never seen and underestimated by ourselves.

Have you ever met someone you connected with for no particular reason? Have you got people that pop in and out of your life from time to time ... some you may not even hear from regularly but they still contact you from time to time to say hi, share a joke or have a long overdue natter and you wonder why they remember or think of you after so long? Have you ever found that people seem to open up to you in ways that leave you feeling a mixture of honour and bewilderment at why they chose to share THAT information about themselves with you? Have you ever found yourself just in general wondering WHY someone is in your life, what is it they get from you being in theirs? You can use a million and one cliches to explain it ... you may be one of those who think "everyone and everything is in your life for a reason" ... or you may not even wonder at all and plod along blindly to the next web page without a thought.

The simple answer lays in your value as a human. Its all about not what you own, take and/or get but what you give unselfishly to others, not material objects but in ways you may never fully know or understand. Do not underestimate it !!! I bet you are more special to people you have touched in your life than you realise. Your knowledge, your life experience, your humour it all adds up to one priceless gift and that is YOU! Do not hide this gift, it should be given and enjoyed.

That story you told that made someone smile, the advice you gave that saved someone time, money or further grief in some way, the simple compliment that arrived on a down day that brightened someones heart reminding them they are worthwhile, a joke you told in a moment when someones life was falling apart around them that gave enough of a smile to be the turning point for them to gain a fresh look at their world and pick themselves back up again. That hug that gave someone a moment of warmth. That ear that somone knows you will lend them. Those great recipes you collect and share. The hand you lend someone in a moment of need. The few extra hours sleep or just abreak you let your mate get while you look after their kid(s) for a few hours. The smile you gave that triggered the same in the frowning face of a stranger walking by.

Its all those little things you do ... often considered unimportant and done without thinking about it that gives you your value to others. Never underestimate your value ... You have probably saved more than one life, dried rivers of tears that you never even knew were flowing, and picked people up off more floors you didnt even know they were desperately falling apart on all because you used the value in you to reach out for just a moment and give to someone something so simple and true as an expression of your friendship.

To my good friends who stand by me ... I thank you for the value you have given to me over time, particularly 2 of my most special friends My S (partner in crime) and D (wee-wink). I know Im not always an easy one to work out and keep up with. SINGS PINK "wind her up and watch her go ... where she stops nobody knows" .... ayup thats me lol .... just know you have helped me get through so much with the most simple of gestures.

To everyone else ... do not underestimate yourself ... just reach out with a simple gesture and you may get to see just how valuable you are to those around you. Its amazing just how much you can give with just a kind word or a smile.

Feel the love beautiful people ... there is plenty to go around if you let it.

Oh and have an awesome day!

xox-Missi-xox

Just sharing an email ...

2009-09-14T13:00:00.002+10:00

I received this today from one of my friends and thought Id share it ....

Here's the plan to get the country back on its feet, without running people over 50 off theirs!

Dear Mr. Swann,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Australia’s economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks and financial institutions that will squander the money on lavish parties and un-earned bonuses, as they already have...feel free to use the following plan:

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 7 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them 2 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire....result: 7 million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new Australian Built CAR....result: 7 million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage and credit cards....result: Housing Crisis fixed - National debt disappears.

4) They MUST send their kids to school / college /university....result: Idle kids off the street - Crime rate fixed.

5) Buy $50 of alcohol and / or tobacco a week, there's your money back in duty / tax etc....we will then donate it to charity, they can then sell it cheap to wino’s and homeless people, who are already the victims of your policies on financial well being, property investment, and superannuation investment strategies.

It can't get any easier than that!

*NOTE*
If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

If not, enjoy your retirement...you must be a politician.!

Mi ... Im keeping busy packing and cleaning and online stuff. Not much else to say. Hope your having an awesome day!

xox-Missi-xox

Weebly n Stuff

2009-09-12T08:09:00.005+10:00

Goodmorning gorgeous people! I hope this finds you well.

The past days have been kept busy continuing to pack. Most of it is done all bar a few last minute items. The removalist is cofirmed and paid ..... they will be here to pick up my belongings on the 23rd. I have to make up my mind on whether Im leaving on the 24th or 25th and make final organisation on the hire car. A month ago I didnt want to even imagine myself doing this and although I havent left I cannot wait until I get to a point in my life where I can come back again ... only next time Im heading further north. I hope my daughter looks back on this one day and gives it full appreciation. I know I wouldnt be going back if it wasnt for her benefit.

I have a big list of cleaning to do this weekend. Im just waiting for my daughter to wake up so I can hand her the goodmorning youve got cleaning to do list and get stuck into it. As long as all the major things cleaned by Sunday I will be happy. I want to be able to give the place a quick vaccuum, dust and be out of just after my furniture. Less than 2 weeks to go. What a rollercoaster ride this year has been!

This is Weebly good. As I have an inability to stick to one thing at a time and have insane curiosity levels I have started a new website. You can take a sneak peek at it here ---> MissiMi - what do you think so far? Its another work in progress and as random as anything else thats put outby Mi. Admittedly the site was mainly started as an exercise to check out the Weebly website builder, which I found I am really enjoying .... it may even become my new base yet .. time will tell. Blogger is great and WordPress has some good uses too but for those who want a really good looking, fully cusotmisable and most importantly EASY to build web site, especially for the beginner site builder Weebly rocks! Almost everything is as easy as dragging and dropping the elements to your pages. I havent figured out at this stage if it is easy to apply your own designs or if the codes are easy to manipulate as I have only been using it a few days but give me time and will be sure to discover this information for those who are interested. The down side so far is that I cannot seem to use the photo uploader with Firefox even with the latest version of flash which is their recommendation ... but I found to overcome this is as simple as using Internet Explorer instead. Their support service is rather quick, having sent a support ticket about the firefox issue I heard back from them within 5 hours - and that was a human reply not just an automated script. There are some features you need to upgrade for you to use on your site but there are minimal restrictions. Where would you host it? They even take care of that for you for free too.

The pro's

Free domain hosting
Free website
Free blog
Easy To Build
Many preset designs

and if thats not enough then you can also take advantage of their affiliate program to include in your portfolio of income streams if this is your thing which I just found and am looking into as I write.

Create a free website or blog in minutes with Weebly!

Free hosting and no ads. One of Time's 50 best websites of the year.

Well the girl is up ... its 9 am and Ive been glued here for 3 and a half hours already. I had better make some form of movement away from the computer and find that cleaning list of things we need to get through this weekend. Hope your day is spent having so much more fun than I will be cleaning.

I saw a quote once somewhere

"A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE ON HOUSEWORK"

Oh thats right ... thats my fridge magnet!

And just because I can I will leave you with yet another Pink favourite ...

So true.

Keep Smiling

xox-Missi-xox

Plodding along

2009-09-06T13:29:00.004+10:00

So we have tax back finally!!! No more waiting. So here starts the move back ... watch out Adelaide here we come again!!! Who says my life is boring ha!!!

Have list of people to begin calling tomorrow to organise the move : removalist, rental agent, hire car etc, etc. There is a gathering of boxes appearing throughout the rooms and more cartons awaiting to be assigned their contents. We have a serious lack of packing tape and paper, I will need to fix that issue tomorrow to continue on with the filling of those empty boxes left. Clean the car ready for sale. Measurements are needed of some items to add for the final moving quote, ot ahuge job. I already have a pile of stuff Im wondering why the hell I own it ... but the same answer comes back to me ... "it may be useful one day" and packed it anyway. If all goes to plan I should be leaving the Gold Coast around the 25th. My daughter already has her re-enrolment appointment for her old school at the start of next term and her leave form ready to hand into her current one tomorrow. She is happy as about the whole situation and very much looking forward to old friends and family. I am looking forward to the more positive influence than what she has here amongst a few things I must admit.

There you go ... after all that humming and harrring over what I should do I am fully and finally decided and doing it. Takes me a while to figure it out sometimes but I get there in the end and it doesnt take me long to act lol. Goes to show nothing is really impossible if you want it enough.

You just have to love pay day ...... I was paid from Pac For All today. W0o0oh0o0o0. Show me the money! I put it all back in. I could rave about it but you need to see it to believe it. I love what I have seen with this one so far. All I can say is its worth being a part of .... check it out.
Short term offer available on Mission Money.

Hmmm what else ... I have updated my Mission Money blog a little this week with a few more posts related to all things online money making if this is your interest. Its just a gathering of things that are adding up and/or working for me .... or not.

All else is relatively bland, my Virgin Broadband wireless internet gives me the utter shites! Its slow as hell and keeps dropping out, takes me over an hour what I could do in 20 minutes on a decent connection. I cant wait to get rid of it after the move. I would never recommend their broadband service. On the upside they fixed their screw up on the mobile phone side of things. The near $600 bill they gave me has now been reduced to its usual monthly charge for the 2 plans. Took some jumping up and down on the phone to them and a few weeks though. At least it is sorted and I may just switch phone companies too when the contract ends.

Ok enough rambling I will leave you a little something that was emailed to me.

Children's rights versus parents rights

My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mum, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as 'C.S.D.'

Mum's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D .
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best.'

I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own 'efen' lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'

A thought to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers,
Or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday
OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH
From a MuM
(Mean Unappreciated Mother.)

... and by the way thats not me lol

Keep smiling beautiful people. Ciao for now.

xox-Missi-xox

Wasting some time

2009-08-30T08:18:00.003+10:00

So here I am stopping in to say hi. Im in the midst of downloading files to set up my favourite 3d chat room - check out the moove review lower end of the left column to find out what Im on about. With my hellish and painfully slow pc I am not quite sure why, and given my internet connection drops every few minutes making it impossible to get and keep visitors anyway, not to mention how many downloads drop on me. Well I know why Im feeling creative and obviously up for a challenge lol. Either that or Im just outright insane! Ive also been offered a great deal on their yearly membership .. so good that I am considering very seriously to get it again (I used to have it on auto purchase until I lost my credit card).

Ive got to say Ive had another week with my comuter that is like AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Between the computer, stupid microsoft, antivirus software and my internet connection it has been hard to stay patient with my already lack of patience for things going on around me.

So it started with a stupid virus, I was surfing numerous webpages when my pc went haywire and rebooted on me. Lots of hassles!!! I tried norton ... no luck, I tried zone alarm ...no luck all these managed was to take over my already slow assed pc and not actually remove the problem so I decide stuff it, easier to wipe the lot and start again. Easy enough Ive done it a million times already. So with windows freshly installed, I go to update ... no microsucks site wont let me update. Page wont display, page won't dsplay oh yay we have page displayed and downloads happening .... only to find the updates wont install. Hours pass on this issue, call microsoft ... all because I went to their site to do the updates as I have so may times without an issue before they are happy to help me FOR $80 PER BLOODY HOUR!!! Pfft! I think not microsucks. Read a bunch of tech help pages, try a number of so called fixes all no luck. So buggar it I will start from scratch .... again. Ok so we have fresh windows and guess what minus your $80.oo per hour sucks support your stupid site works and updates my windows now.

Decide to install and try out AVG since the other 2 AV programs I have kill every other use my computer may have. Cool, in, updated ..... then my access to the internet refused to connect. I call Virgin - the WORST internet connection I have EVER had - not to mention the phone services they couldnt even get on the right plans in the set up process which left me arguing over a near $600 phone bill (PS I won and the bill is in the process of being adjusted, the operator couldnt make up their mind over whether it was a voice recording that would take too long to find or one they had deleted for some reason ... hmmmm something not right .. maybe they just cant admit they screwed up to begin with!) - and not to mention yet another call center that can barely speak understandable english. So I eventually lose patience trying to get the operator to keep up with me as he stumbles through every word on the screen in front of him ... he tried to read the screen fast as he could Im sure but after 40 minutes of him making me go through all the steps I went through on my own alreadyAGAIN that didnt work and get mysef off the phone before some poor unskilled call center operator gets a mouthful of my impatience at virgins inadeqaute service and connection. Wish him well and thanks for trying.

.... BLAH!!!

The issue? Found it eventually in my hardware device manager. Something to do with AVG miniport not working correctly. So its the stupid antivirus and NOT the internet connection FOR ONCE. Update drivers? No wont let me do that. Uninstall it? No wont let me do that. Any tech help on the problem? Found a few fixes, that werent fixes. Uninstall the program and go through the registry to delete any keys associated to the program, but they wont delete. Ok, go into safe mode to see if that may help. Well it still wont let me update, uninstall or delete this stupid miniport that is stopping me accessing the net. In the end I discovered going through the registry in safe mode under administrator I needed to right click and choose permissions from the menu then allow full control by all users over the key in order to delete it, and in turn the issue was solved and Im connected to the net again.

Ive just about had it with this old clunker machine! Just a pity the laptop I was given a few weeks back ended up being a bigger piece of crap than this beast, so I gave it back.

I had a bored moment and out of curiosity I entered my dads name into google. Ive never met my dad. I have a few small pieces of information but mostly its what made me give up my search for him many years ago. My mum was staying with me for a time and happened to pass him in the city, did she stop to get his details knowing how much I had asked growing up about him .. nope that wasnt my mum. She walked past and then came home to tell me ... gee mum thanks, real special. Anyway I did a search through police back then and found he has quite a criminal history that would be in competition of my mum. Got an address, visited but the house was empty. I saw the neighbour and asked if they knew the where abouts ... poor people ... my dad apparently "borrowed" their car a few days earlier, that was the last I heard, also where I gave up my search and dream of finding him for real. Well after putting his name into google I discovered that he is listed as missing ... Im trying to get in contact with the person who listed him to see if there is any way I may be able to get to know a little more about him ... although I have no real desire to meet him. It has been a kind of odd reality since learning that he is missing. I want to hope hes ok. I guess its another one of thosethings I will probably never know.

Ive also started looking into finding the origin of my mother, knowing nothing more than she came into Oz as a baby and adopted out because her parents had tuberculosis. As they years go by I find myself growing increasinly more curious about my true family history ... should be interesting, I can barely find any family history on the name I already have.

Onto not so sentimental stuffs .... how about some money making updates ....

I got a payment from 10dollarswonder a few days back. It was paid within a week too! I must admit that is the fastest payment I haverecieved for a while. The last few requests took nearly the whole 2weeks to arrive but this one took only a few days to my surprise. It still clunks along for me and I still make a purchase here and there as long as the profit balance stays in my favour. I wouldnt recommend it to join now .... Im not so confident how long it will take for you to make money back here however I cannot say that it isnt working for me .... its just at a much slower pace than it once was and although I still have 2 support tickets that have been outstanding for months ( I dont think he wants to read or respond to any of my opinions) it still pays within the nominated time. As for 10 centclub ... Im still not holding my breath for this one to open .. I do not believe he will do the right thing by his members who are all waiting for some action, this is ONLY MY OPINION. for me it is now a case of believe it when I see it. I know I would sure like to know when I can withdraw the $51 Ive had sitting there waiting for hi to pull his finger out and am sure there are members with much more than that.

Ive read some confusing emails regarding AdVentures4u. If you are in it I am sure you have too. Here is the last email I recieved ...

***Good morning, someone told me that all the newsletters is confusing members.

Ok short and sweet, we are revenue sharing all our profits and earnings from the beginning to the members that are not in profit.

Then we are going to a Revenue share on the other income only. You will still need to surf to share in that Revenue.

Does that make sense? We are going Private and will not let anyone else in the program.

I hope this will Help all Members understand what we are doing.

All strictpay past payouts are complete. Thanks you all Steve***

Well all I can say is that I have put in for my cashout as stated and hopefully I wont have lost anything. I have not to date requested any cashouts before this and will be in profit if all goes well and to what is stated. I will be very interested to see where this one goes from here.

I joined PacForAll as well. So far happy with what I am seeing here. In 9 days it shows I have made all bar 80 cents back off my initial deposit. I look forward to playing with PacForAll some more. Im a slow mover in the world of making money online, but to date have lost very little in my adventures. I play small and build it from there.

So I have downloaded a number of things for my 3d chat room while dribbling here and need to reboot my computer. I think the best part of my day will be spent decorating a new room here instead of sorting my real rooms into boxes to be ready to move back to Adelaide in around 4 weeks. Post you some pics when it all comes together.

Have a great day beautiful people

Falconer, Ricketts, Chalmers Families here is some history for you

2009-08-24T17:49:00.003+10:00

Well before I disappear for a bit I thought I would share this piece of curiosity. I was watching the Antique Road Show this afternoon which got me thinking about an old book Ive had for many years floating around in my hoard of random stuff.

Its The Australian Birthday Book, released in 1837. I looked it up a couple of years ago and found out another copy was being sold for $300, but I didnt look anything more into it. So today I dont know why but the show triggered my memory of it. I went through it again knowing there are names and dates in the book, a curious moment I guess. I do like antiques and old things.

Anyway Im thinking the book may actually be better off with someone who is actually a family member of someone named in the book if they are interested in such an item. Or maybe you know some trivia that would be interesting to know.

Here are some names, dates and details contained in the book

George Falconer, St Albans Rd Geelong
Is in the beginning pages of the book. I can only assume he was the owner of this copy.

C.C.C Falconer (1864- March 30 1936) .... Aberdeen Scotland.

Williamena Lillian Rickets (1915 - April 11 1926) .... "Benochie {I think writing hard to translate} York Street Geelong.

George Falconer (1862 - March 19 1948) .... Aberdeen Scotland

Eliza McDonald Falconer (May 18 1890- can only assume born) .... @ St Albans Rd, Geelong

Willie Chalmers .... Revvie? Street, Paddington, Sydney

Peggy Chalmers .... Paddington Sydney

Williamena Chalmers Falconer (June 13 1893) .... @ St Albans Rd, Geelong

Arthur Herbert Ricketts (1883 - May 20 1957)

G Falconer (July 18 1884) @ Bridge Cottage, Inverurie, Scotland

Robert George Dorling (1921) .... "Balgoronie?", Wellington Street, Geelong West

Herbert Ricketts (1923) .... @ Pascoe St, Winton

Cathering Cooper Chalmers Falconer (NOvember 18 1888) .... St Albans Rd, Geelong

Gordon Ricketts (1954)

Well there are most of the names and dates that appear in this curiosity piece. If you are related to or know anyone who may be related to any of these people and interested in having it back in the family in which it once belonged to then leave me a comment or email mi. If not one day I will end up having it valued and sold myself.

Thats all for now ... Keep smiling.

Sounds Familiar ???

2009-08-24T08:50:00.006+10:00

Outside that just wanted to say I will be very scarce over the coming weeks, I have far too much on my plate that I wont go into and sitting here aint going to get things sorted out.

Stay well, be safe and keep smiling beautiful people! Catch you when I can.

Don't forget ... If you do what you've always done you will get what you have always gotten!

How Awesome Is This Place!!!

2009-08-21T21:24:00.004+10:00

Hey beautiful people, just a quickie .... I am exhausted from many hours spent here surfing, refreshing my Mission Money Blog, catching up on over 1000 neglected emails and other online money stuff over the past couple of days. Time to stop being such a slacker and make a few serious bucks again.

Before I drift off into my nightly coma I just wanted to share these pics that were emailed to me. What an awesome house !!! And so the attached story goes ....

Clingstone, an unusual, 103-year-old mansion in Rhode Island 's Narragansett Bay ,

survives through the love and hard work of family and friends.

Take care and Enjoy!!!
Gnite
MmmmmWahs !!!

Personality types and challenges

2009-08-18T19:20:00.009+10:00

Before I bore you with me! me! me! and my random life dribble again I thought some of you might like to see what kind of personality you have. Since I needed a distraction earlier I hit Facebook where I came across this test I have seen, and done, before but had forgotten all about. I am not often a quiz taker but curiosity got the better of me with this one. Maybe you have heard of the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) before, maybe not. In short it says there are 16 personality types.

You can take a modified version of the test here

It is modified because it is free.

If you want to take the full MBTI test it will cost you which you can find here. Just in case you are that interested.

and I also found this site here . A good site to get information on the different personality types. You can also take the test there but they require you to create a log in whereas the first link doesnt require any log in or payment.

Turns out I am an INFJ which are apparently the rarest of all. I found the summaries are all rather accurate for me. How did you go? I would love for you to comment and let me know ... of course that is up to you if you wish to share it.

Now onto the challenge.

As if it wasnt a big enough one to make it up here with 3 jobs and 8 months up my sleeve. I have decided that I dont want to wait until christmas to get my feet back on the ground. I am tired of the struggle it has been and want to get to a place I can look forward more than a couple of weeks. Dont get me wrong ... I dont regret one bit of making the move, I have learnt so much about myself and done things I wouldnt have even dreamed, but the ride is coming to an end. I am hoping between my tax and selling most of what I can replace when I get back to have enough to make it back within 6 weeks. I hope to hear from my accountant tomorrow to let me know how much to expect there, ring the mob that moved me up here and get a quote to take it all back (I will be taking less back than I bought up here so should be a better price- still its not that much short of $1000!).

Waiting until the end of the year is far too long a time to remain unsettled and waiting for things to happen after the erratic and quite draining year Ive had. I have been in contact with a couple of my old employers back in ye old Adelaide who are happy to have me back and give me whatever work is available which is positive ... one of which I know has quite a bit leading up to xmas and better pay than I was getting here, not to mention no weekends!!!

I was only going to stay until christmas because of my daughters schooling, but after a lot of thought and some chatting with her poppy I agree to the thought that she will benefit more and work better in her old school. Her so called friends here are really not that good an influence where at her old school they are all reasonably good kids who do the right thing and strive to do better. Up here most of the ones Ive met treat their parents like crap, have little respect for rules and safety of themselves, hang on the streets late at night and get into all sorts of things 15 year olds just shouldnt do. I am lucky my girl hasnt been caught up in too much of that and likes to stay in at night, shes had a few moments but quickly pulled her head back in (I am a very hard in some areas having had the life experiences Ive had and thankfully I do have her respect that she listens to most things I say - even when she accuses me of being unfair she soon realises Im more than fair, Im just no walk over who doesnt care what she does).

To change the subject I have just got news that I have gained the bonus of a free laptop ... nothing too flashy but hey its free and will do the job so Im wrapped. Im going to make a coffee and await its arrival which will be sometime very soon. The geek in me is getting excited!

Keep well beautiful people. I will leave you with a song.

xox

Random Writings, Poetry and a touch of music

2009-08-14T20:29:00.003+10:00

If your teenage girl tries to rope you into taking them to a band signing .... I highly recommend one of 2 things ..... strong pain killers, earplugs and a pillow strapped to each side of your head or even better RUN!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! It will save your hearing I guarantee it. Hearing ... what? Did you say something all I can hear is a couple of hundred screaming girls echoing in my head after 2 hours of being either the walking shelf they store their excess baggage, the spot in the line holder while they ran back and forth to catch an eyeful of the band and the star who bought the silver pen that ended up not only on mine but at least half a dozen or so other girls drawing whiskers (Im still trying to figure that one out but am sure there is some teenage logic behind it) and "I love (blah! blah! band members names here)". All I can say is OMG!!! What a day. I didnt do any screaming but think my voice has gone out in sympathy of all those who were screaming their lungs out for the afternoon or maybe I just spoke more than I heard myself doing. It was a fantastic afternoon actually. A rare moment my daughter wasnt her usual quiet shy self. Great to see the passionate side come out in her. She is often rather nonchalant and most things go by her like water off a ducks back so it was a real joy to see.

I was catching up on a few blogs earlier today and stumbled upon this beautiful poem on one of the blogs in my list THRU MY EYES. I couldnt find a way to link to the exact post from August 10th for some reason so have copied it here because I like it alot (even if its not word for word what I think Im sure I will take it with me forever). Please do check out her blog as she also has some interesting writings and points. It is more for the women, some guys may be able to find a relation ... if not ... oh well sorry guys its for the ladies anyway :-P.

The Reflection
by
Gloria Hemingway Johnson

When I look in the mirror, the woman I see
Is not the girl that lives within me.
The person I know is younger than that.
She's trim and attractive and not all that fat.
The person I see is mature and alive
Ambitious, flamboyant and has lots of drive.
She'd love to go dancing, be able to sing
wants this not to be winter but rather her spring
The lines on the face in the mirror I see
are just on the glass and not part of me.
The silver that shines in that lady's hair
on the person I know they just aren't there.
I'd give my eye teeth for the world to see
the pretty woman that lives inside me

And being the Pink and music fan I am, I have decided while I go stare at the back of my eyelids for a while I would leave you with this, not one of her chart toppers but its such a lovely song I had to share it with you. Even if you are not a fan of her usual style I think most of you will still enjoy it.

Take care until I return beautiful people.

A bit Eeyore

2009-08-13T09:46:00.005+10:00

The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about...

“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”

"When someone says 'How-do-you-do," just say that you didn't."
~ Eeyore

2009-08-12T14:35:00.002+10:00

Well its been an interesting journey over the past 12 months. Ive seen things I would never have had the opportunity to do so, done things I would never have even considered possible and really enjoyed being in such gorgeous weather. Ive learnt a tonne of things about myself and think I am better person for having done all that I have to do what I have done.

My biggest dilemma, my daughter. She is dead set going back to Adelaide at the end of the year. I tried looking at continuing on up here, even thought for a moment or two that I had myself convinced it would be a good thing, the opportunities, the opportunities I keep saying to myself ... but I guess Im more motherly than I give myself credit for most days. To be honest I cannot find a way to feel anything apart from gutted about the idea of not having her to have my world revolve around. Sure she has family and all that there ... but its not me. She has already voiced her preference for me to return with her numerous times. I guess it all comes down to one thing ... Im not ready to let go of them apron strings just yet, shes still only 15 years old. Sure I may not have QLD out of my system fully, but how can I put gorgeous weather and the unknown here above my daughter wanting me with her there? I just cant no matter how much I rake my brain trying to find a way. Unfortunately her friends here are not much of a good influence, especially compared to those in Adelaide. Not to mention my friends. The one thing I found going back on my holiday .... I have some bloody good friends down there and I miss them too. I miss having a friend to go have coffee with, spend an evening with, have a few drinks with. I miss having places to go where I know I will always see a friendly face happy to have a quick chat. Sure Im still not overly keen on Adelaide itself as far as places go, but without my daughter Queensland sure doesnt seem as appealing a place to be.

So here goes beautiful people ..... decision made to be a good mum .... time to work towards an adventure in the opposite direction.

I'm Baaaack!

2009-08-10T00:02:00.004+10:00

Just a quick stop in to say I made it home safe. Altho not all went as well as smoothly as I had hoped in the plan I still had the best start to my last day ;-) ... pity the whole day ended up just going too fast and was rather sad leaving my best mate at the airport. She is THE ABSOLUTE BESTEST EVER friend a person can have. Rather emotional plane ride home too on a few levels.

I caught up with everyone I had hoped to and had a really nice time all round. This trip was just what I needed with the crazy year Ive had.

Heres some random information for my return - Im not really religious but I am a quietly and deeply spiritual person, I believe the universe has some mysterious ways and things DO happen for reasons beyond our realm of understanding at times - anyway without getting to deep at this hour, this is one of my favourite stones.

Carry it with you .... when you feel like you need support, a rock to lean on - hold it in your hand. Feel its smooth texture. If you keep it on a desk or somewhere near by ... when you first hold it, notice its coolness. As you think whatever you are thinking through run your fingers over its surface, focus on the feel of it in your hand as you are thinking. Just roll it around in your fingers, stay aware of its presence, its texture, temperature. If your stressed, have a headache, neck ache .. any pain run it over the place it hurts gently for a while focus, meditate on the feel of its soft, smooth touch. Occasionally you will feel its warmth on your skin. Let it help you through your worries, fears, times of uncertainty .... allow it to help you focus on what you need to sort through in whatever turmoils you face. The key to most things to begin with is what you want to believe.

(Above picture and following information on heamatite and other spiritual stones from THIS site)

Hematite relates to the Mars. Determining the date when Hematite use began would be difficult but it has probably been used since the earliest days of human civilization. The ancient Egyptians used Hematite in the creation of their Magical Amulets such as the carpenter stone and head rest Amulets and several Heart Amulets. Warriors in Roman times used Hematite as PROTECTION during battle. So strong was their belief in the Power of Hematite to protect them that they thought it could even make them invincible. In modern times, the Powers of Protection that spiritualists apply to the stone has expanded into the spiritual realm, where they believe Hematite can transform or absorb negativity or evil. Hematite is a Lawyers stone that brings positive judgments in legal matters and it is a stone that helps one remain true to his or her inner self. Also a Protective Stone, whenever you feel the need for protection and face challenge in panicky situation, carry a Hematite stone with you. It could be crucial meetings, interviews or legal matters. On a spiritual plane, it enhances astral projections, promotes balance, focus, convergence and concentration of energy. Helps increase courage and will-power. It helps to balance out the emotions and energies between the body, mind and spirit. Not only does it dissolves negativity, but actually transforms it into the energy of Universal Love. Hematite reminds you that the only limitations that exist are those that you place upon yourself. Also offers support for your hopes, dreams, wishes and desires, by encouraging you to reach for the sun. Hematite forms a reflective shield around its Owner, letting negativity bounce off and return to the sender.

Here is another site for even more information

Ok so its now WAY past pumpkin hour and WAYYYYY past the time I expected to be awake so I think I may go drain whatever of me that isnt already drained into a deep coma for numerous hours then back to reality for me. Catch you again real soon beautiful people.

A music moment

2009-08-07T09:29:00.004+10:00

I woke up with this song in my head

and well you cant have too much music to start the day so ...

and there she goes dancing her way out the door ......

Holiday Dribble

2009-08-04T08:28:00.004+10:00

Hello beautiful people. What have you all been up to? Keeping well and happy I hope.

It has been nice to see my mates again. The weekend was busy spent visiting and being visited. One thing for sure its F - F- F- Far- FREEZING - k!!! And yes if this blog had an adult rating there WOULD be a profanity or two somewhere in there. If you are clever, you can play with the letters to know what I truly mean.

I forgot how dark it was here in the mornings. Im used to the sun being way up before I even think of stirring for the day and greeting the sunlight with my morning coffee ... a number of times I caught the sunrise up there its around 4:30 ish am. Here I wake up at my usual times but its still dark until a couple of hours later. Now I understand why I used to think movement in the morning was something that should never have been heard of let alone allowed before I moved interstate. I am back to dragging my doona out of bed with me until the end of the week lol. Tha part I find quite funny .... here I am .. may as well look like im going out in the snow while everyone around me is either in a tshirt or light jumper/jacket. I think they are all insane, including my daughter. I dont think I will ever bring enough to keep me warm here in winter.

I had a quiet day yesterday .... quiet and lazy. Spent the best part of it wrapped up in the doona Ive been dragging out of bed with me. Was nice to have a non eventful day after the last week of head spins and catching up with old friends I havent seen in too long. It will be the last of it though until I get back home. Have a gf picking me up thismorning to drive me to catch a few others later today. Lunch with another gf tomorrow and another for thursday ... so far refusing to look any further past that as far as making plans go. Have to leave some room for spontenaiety ... and I STILL havent made it out for a dance yet so heres hoping I can fit that in before I run away on Sunday. I really should have allowed myself another week here lol. Im just hoping I dont miss seeing anyone.

The strangest thing Ive found since being back here ... is the feeling of not having a home to go to here. Mind you I have MANY I can go to who would all say make yourself at home. Its just a bizarre feeling. The last time I visited a place where I lived for a long time I didnt have this kind of feeling because I was on the streets when I left so as much as the town was my home I didnt actually have a home.

I was next door to my old home on Friday ... but I was unable to go look at it. After seeing my old neighbour I walked away I have to admit I do miss the feeling I had at the old place ... most things were much more stable there than they are now .... not that Im complaining, for the most part it has been a great experience moving states and all, I guess it just comes back to that old saying you dont know what you've got until its gone. That house meant a lot to me on a number of levels. I still dont regret one bit. Oh actually that is a lie ... I discovered the first regret in my life is selling my old Honda Prelude I had before I moved. I loved that car and you know what ... my goal is to have another one within 2-3 years and when I do I will drive it until it dies - or I find those rich parents to adopt and buy me that Mercedes sports 500SL for xmas. (OK so thats just my wild imagination kicking in now hehehe).

Ooops ... didnt realise time slipping away in my babble ... just got the call to say I'll be picked up soon so had better go get myself organised for public appearance. Catch you all when I return and thaw out in the sunny state.

Loves n mmwaaaahhhhhs!!!! til then.

Gone On Holiday

2009-07-28T21:19:00.005+10:00

Well I havent left yet ... I was going tomorrow afternoon but beyond my control it has been changed to Thursday evening instead. Same time just different day. I will be busy tomorrow and am not sure how lucky I will be at getting an internet connection for any length of time while away so I will probably miss you all until I get back on the 9th.

Unfortunately it was premonition not paranoia over work. If theres anything I can take from this is that Ive gained more good reason to believe in my intuition more often. Im disappointed, it seems to be a balls up off communication on the surface but it stinks to me of something more, something that Ive missed somewhere along the line. Oh well, I know Ive tried to do the right thing and no matter what sometimes that isnt good enough for some.

The positive side is I get to see my friends. First time in just over a year for all but 2 that Ive seen up here this year. This is the longest time I have spent away from the familiar since I left my hometown that I grew up in on my 17th birthday - and that was only meant to be a months holiday to Adelaide that turned into living there for 16 years lol. I am looking forward to visiting familiar places, seeing familiar faces .... and seeing how much has or hasnt changed, to feeling if its just a holiday or a deeper calling home. Im looking forward to going out to the places I used to enjoy going out to, to having good reason to dress up and someone to go dancing with. My best mate ... oh how Im looking forward to coffee and chats with her .... to her shock if she ever reads this I cant wait to hear her boys terrorising the peace and quiet of my day that allows me to think possibly far too much sometimes. Its all just a bit exciting to think I in 48 hours I will be sitting with her ... and weird to think that a little over a week ago this trip wasnt seen as a possibility until xmas. Just proves good things can come from bad situations.

Well if you are still reading I guess you MUST bored to tears to be here and well, basically all I can think of to say is in my daughters words ... it sucks to be you :-P. No, seriously, its all good Im wrapped you have taken the time and interest to follow my randomness. May we be able to continue to go slowly insane together when I return.

Before I go I wanted to share something silly ... for no other reason other than because I can and want to show you that although my world revolves around me .... I know yours doesnt and sometimes need something more stimulating even if it is considered lame by some.

Pink Dots - this is wild!

Something to drive you crazy....

If your brain works normally this is neat.

This is another example of an amazing illusion!!! The last sentence is so true.

If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, the dots will remain only one color, pink.

However if you stare at the black '+' in the center, the moving dot turns to green.

Now, concentrate on the black ' +' in the center of the picture. After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see only a single green dot rotating.

It's amazing how our brain works.. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear.

This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see .

Take care ..... until my fingers find the internet again beautiful people .... ciao for now.

Adventures

2009-07-27T07:34:00.003+10:00

No I dont mean the revenue share surf. Although that is doing really well for me as well as others I know of.

Something Jim said really backed up what I began thinking yesterday ... you are 100% right ... its just adventures in the opposite direction. As work STILL havent had the decency to call, message or whatever to let me know either way if I have a job or not I am just going to take my life back into my hands, I got my floaties so here we go jumping back into the deep end. As much as I hate the thought of not having a job, I will take this time as an opportunity to go back and see if I feel like Adelaide could be home again or whether I get a breath of fresh air to continue my adventures up here. Whatever happens will and I will be fine doing whatever that is.

And now I will leave you with these ... Keep smiling ....

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.

She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"

The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.

"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."

The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

OUCH!!! POOR PUPPY!!!

Catch ya later beautiful peoples

Uncertain days

2009-07-25T07:55:00.003+10:00

A new day starts ... the sun shines as it almost always seems to up here. Still no word from the boss.

Looked into some flights ... mid week is going to be the earliest I can get outta here at a reasonable price considering there will me + 1.

There is part of me that is still hoping to hear something positive, although she has left it so long that even if I hear good news Im still going to be really annoyed at being treated this way. When I applied for the job it was advertised most weekdays and some weekends. Since Ive been there it has been the other way around, even though I have explained numerous times I need some regular weekend days to spend with my daughter. I have watched 2 other staff members come on board and get regular weekend days off, both single males with no other responsibilities or committments, and although I have given her a reminder of what I need have never complained. Ive had many mornings where I have been almost a foot out the door when I get a text message to say come in later only to get another to say later again or even not at all, and often sat there for 3 or 4 hours waiting to start or not. Sometimes I will get the message earlier. There are many days there where I have literally ran my ass off for hours. I have bent over backwards in many ways to keep this job. Sure I have had 8 days off in the past 2 months, mostly due to illness. I barely ask for time off, in fact Ive had 1 day off that I have asked for in 4-5 months. So Im quite disturbed by the comment she made about me not being there half the time. She failed to remember that half the time Im not there is because SHE has told me not to come in and NOT because of time Ive had off. Im not one to get the sniffles and have a day off ... I can push myself through a lot. Ohwell theres my bitch for the day, still unsure where its all going for now but all I can say is that mid week flights back to Adelaide are looking really good at the moment.

Coming up here was a long time dream. I made it come true. I am happy about that. I did some things I never thought I would ever be able to do on my own ... like work 3 jobs and move to the other end of the country for one massive achievement. It has had some really good points to it on the bright side, but I dont know if the bright sides are enough to keep me up here at the moment, especially with my daughter wanting to return so much.

All I know is that it is going to be an interesting few months while I am wrestling with myself to figure out what will be best for me and my girl. I know the hardest part of my decision is just that whole stepping back thing... Ive never made a big step and then taken a step back before ... not in relationships, not in work, not even with family when they were around .... so to consider taking a step back is a new thing for me. I wonder at times if this trip away just may be what I needed to see that I do belong actually somewhere and maybe Adelaide where I have many good friends is it? I dont know ... all I know for sure at the moment for once going back seems an easy solution compared to moving forward living here and Ive never had that before. Most things Ive ever experienced moving forward has been the ONLY way and going back has never seemed to appeal. Is it a sign? Or am I just finding good reasons to give up? I guess only time will tell hey.

Well heres hoping I get some news on work in the next few hours because if I dont hear something positive then I will be booking 2 tickets for a holiday outta here by the end of the week. All I need to remember is that pussycats always land on their feet.

Hope you are all having a great day.

Shades of Grey

2009-07-24T16:46:00.003+10:00

Well today hasnt been one of my better days. I had last weekend off work because I was sick as. Nobody wants to be served food by a waitress who is coughing, spluttering, dribbling snot and looking like death slow roasted. Well Im to discover no shifts at all this week. Not happy but ok. I leave a message to see if I should be expecting a similar thing next week or not. No reply. I leave another message thismorning asking outright if I still have a job. No reply. So I go in to ask her personally and well she is "too busy" to come out and talk to me. Hmmmm. Not a good sign. Surely she would have sent the message through if things were all good and I was worried for nothing. Another 5 hours pass and Im still waiting to hear. Ive tried distracting myself to no avail, I just have this horrible gut feeling... in fact a whole body feeling. Is it a gut feeling or is it just nerves? I dont know. All I keep asking the universe is "is it paranoia or premonition?". Unfortunately in my experience when I have had this kind of deep seeded body feeling Ive been 100% right (with both good and bad), I just keep trying to push the feeling aside saying Im just being paranoid ... oh and asking the universe if it will it kick her in the ass to put me either in or out of my misery. It just sucks hanging in the balance and I have tickets to book if things are going to turn to shite.

If it does turn out Ive lost my job Ive decided Im going back to Adelaide for a couple of weeks. Spend some much needed time with my best mate, need her more than ever at the moment. Its been great up here in some ways - had some wicked experiences I wouldnt want to trade for the world - but to be totally truthful it has been damn hard on many levels. I'm sure things will be ok whatever happens because thats what we are meant to think when all looks like its turning to crap tho right ... keep that positive spark happening somehow as we know we gotta do lol. Every day lately is a battle to know whether coming up here has been REALLY worth it or right or what. Most things are just empty and have been long before I moved here. My daughter wants to go back home and Im in turmoil over where the hell to take my life or what to do with it, even question who even I am half the time. Its the one thing that can really suck when you have lived a constant existence of never really feeling a belonging to anywhere in particular and you just resign yourself to doing things that "seem" like the right thing at the time keeping others happy, your just never too sure where you are meant to be and where do you go when you really dont know what you are looking for? You just wake up, smile regardless and say "well here goes another day what lay ahead" and remind yourself that "hey your alive so be blessed and live". Sometimes life just makes you feel like your attempting to cut your way through a brick wall with a plastic teaspoon.

Sorry ..... breath in the good and out with the bad ..... picking myself up again .... positive cliche after positive cliche its all good and re-read some of my own advice.

and onto something a bit lighter ..... how much shock and horror was I in to discover while doing my hair that dreaded thing none of us really want to see along with wrinkles .... the first shades of grey!!! WHAT!!! Im only 34, surely too young to start going grey, maybe Im seeing things??? Look closer. OMG its not just ONE grey hair ... there is 2.... 3 .... 4 .... Ok stop. So I still have denial to turn to and tell myself ... "Im NOT going grey I have sprouted some ultra blondes!!!" No .. no .. thats not good enough they arent quite passable for blonde so we will just say .... Im just so hip and cool I went and had silver streaks put in just because I love to shine so much !!! LAME .... quick wheres the hair dye!

A Toy Story

2009-07-23T15:04:00.003+10:00

Im enjoying playing with my new phone. Love the touch screen feature and flicking through my pics is so0o0o0o easy. Yada! yada! Yay I have a new toy! Blah, blah, blah.

Im loving being able to customise different songs, tones, to people, profiles, ringtones, messages and wot not as you do when your a lame gadget junkie like me.

Im embarassed at having company when my new phone got its first message. A tone went off ...

Me ..... Proceeding to answer the phone "hello" .... pause ... nothing "hello" .... pause ... nothing

Looking at my friend and phone confused I read "MESSAGE" on the screen.

Ooops that was a MESSAGE tone .... NOT a ring tone! Have to remember that next time.

Blush

I Got a New Toy!!!

2009-07-23T07:20:00.004+10:00

So I have finally got a new phone. I have had the same old phone for quite a while which for me is unusual. Im normally chomping at the bit to try out the latest and greatest, but have been behaving myself a bit more financially. Not to mention there havent been too many phones out there that have really had my curiosity that high over the past 2 years. I know there are many of you who just want a phone to make calls ... me I like my phone to play with as well. What can I say Id be a gadget geek if I was rich.

There is the iPhone .... yeah I thought I wanted one but it is a bit bulky for my liking and everyone that is getting a new phone around me seems to be going for this one. Being the case I have been lucky to play with its features numerous times and well the toys and gadgets in the phone are cool if you are into this kind of thing but Im not sure Id play with most of them more than once unless I was showing it off to others. A bit like the feature of hooking my old Samsung to the tellie ... this was the one reason I took y old D600 over others at the time and used the feature twice lol. In saying that my D600 lasted a long and not very well treated life, being dropped numerous times and eventually the keypad gave up on my hot text thumb reducing me to only having access to the files in the phone via my pc.

So I looked at the Samsung Omia which was shown to my by a customer at work, nice. Then saw the Samsung Ultra Touch, and again nice. Comparing the 2 ... not much different except the ultra touch is a bit slimmer, the slimmer the better for me. I like petite gadgets not bulky ones. Considering my phone company didnt have the Omnia it made the choice really easy to go for the Ultra Touch.

(Wish I knew about the other colours when I ordered mine ... plain grey... but still nice)

Two days later I have stumbled my way through it with very few hiccups. I love the Touch Screen so far. Took a bit to get used to that one and knowing the pressure to use. The camera is great quality for what it is. Huge screen to view and Samsung have even fixed the one thing I didnt like about their previous phones ... customising the message tones, Im no longer stuck with a choice of 5 boring tones I dont like, I can make it a song or whatever I can load into it.

So I have played with all the features I can find in it and set it all up the way I like and well all I can say is the only bitch I have with this phone is that it does not have one of the handiest most simple features of all .... somewhere to put a wrist strap!!!! I mean really what are they thinking leaving this out!!! Obviously not of clumsy people like me hehehe. So with my clumsiness lets see how long it takes to drop and kill my new phone hehehe.

Another new toy ..... You may have noticed Ive added a chatbox to my blog for anyone who may like to use the feature for a chat with me. Im still learning how to use it all myself and may or may not decide to keep it up there. I will see how it goes and if people use it or not for a bit. It doesnt say anywhere that you need to sign up to anything to leave a chat message ... which is why I opted for this one ... I didnt want people to have to go through another sign up or log in process .. so if you want to have a go at leaving a chat message and if you find it asks you to sign up to anything please let me know. Also if you have used a free chatbox on your site that kicks butt in easy to use department then I would be eager to hear of your experiences with others.

Anyway I have another 10 pages here I want to read through so will leave it here for now. I hope you all have a wonderful day gorgeous people.

Something for those who need it ....

2009-07-21T12:48:00.008+10:00

Is it you?

I dont know I just have this feeling that someone out there in the world needed a friendly hug to help them through their day so if your in need of a hug this is just for you. One thing for sure there is a lot to be gained from such a simple gesture.

Sometimes it is hard to stay positive with all that goes on around us in our lives. Coming from someone who has been to the darker side of depression and back numerous times - having been through anti depressants, support networks, counsellors as well as exploring not so positive ways of coping such as alcohol, not so legal drugs, loud music and late nights faking a fabulous existence in efforts to shake off that black cloud that used to envelope me on a daily basis - I fully know how it can be a real struggle to get out of bed in the morning and get through a week let alone a day when you get lost and just dont quite know what the point to all that you are doing is. If you cannot rationalise, which we are so often conditioned to do, when things are disconnected in our heads which make it harder to understand why you are so down at times, like those moments you feel it but all around you "seems" to look all in good order, it can make it even harder to find that first positive step towards shaking those feelings of ... despair? hopelessness? loss of self or direction? Whatever those negative feelings may be representing themselves as at the time.

Sometimes being able to understand and rationalise those feelings is easy other times it is not so. It can sometimes be as simple as monotony we have let ourselves slip into through our day to day existence and struggle with keeping up with what we feel or are told we need to have, do or whatever without thought for our own true happiness, sometimes it is being faced continously with the odds stacked against you,a run of bad luck - losing money, work, love, or the realisation that we are not what we once hoped, thought or dreamed of being. Whatever the real reason is whether it is simple or more deeply complex you really need to fight those negative thoughts and feelings that fill your head.

So how do you begin to pick yourself back up? How do you work towards ridding these negative thoughts and feelings that continue to haunt your headspace especially if your so called rational mind tells you how stupid you are to feel or think the way you do? How do you escape the drowning sensation?

Most importantly learn to take LITTLE STEPS! Dont expect miracles, its cliche to the max but the saying "Rome wasnt built in a day" is exactly what you should remember when you cant move forward with your life in leaps and bounds. Each LITTLE step is just as important as any big step you take in life, and often the steps that build a greater foundation in the future because they are often taken with much more care.

Learn to LOVE YOURSELF - and that I do think is one of the hardest things to do honestly and with your whole heart as it is something so few of us are really taught how to do while growing into this world. We are all our own greatest and harshest critics. Do not put yourself down over mistakes you've made or keep reminding yourself how bad things are compared to what you had, once hoped, wished for or to those around you. Do remind yourself you dont have to have climbed mighty mountains, won wars or saved the whales to be worthy of looking upon your own self with a great deal of respect.

ACCEPT who you are and how you got to being in the place you are in. It may be right, wrong or indifferent but you need to be a friend to yourself and accept you with all your faults just as you would with other friends in your life. Imagine how you would speak to and treat your best mates and start putting yourself on the receiving end of some of your own caring attitudes and kind words. You are really only as screwed up as you let yourself believe or act at the end of the day. A great deal of how we look at things and feel is hidden deep in that grey matter that operates with such little understanding. Force that grey matter to cut you some slack. You are only human. When it slaps you with a negative slap it back with 2 positives. Its not always easy to do with true conviction, but it works when you become aware. Eventually you will find it will slap you with positive sparks more often than negatives when it is trained right.

RESPECT AND REALISE YOUR WORTH AND ALWAYS REMIND YOURSELF OF IT. It may not seem very obvious how valuable you are to those you touch in your world as you are hurrying through your day trying to reach that ultimate place we are all trying to get to, rocking chair on the porch, heaven , next life whatever it is we see in the future. We are all guilty of underestimating just how much good we bring to those we touch and often in the most insignificant of ways. You may not really understand or forget your value, especially if you are in a thankless position .... work, family, friends can all forget to tell you at times just how much life you bring to their party so to speak. It is often the case the closer and more comfortable you are with something or someone that the importance of nurturing the small things that once made it so great get overlooked and replaced with destructive behaviours and/or attitudes, and often this happens slowly without recognition until one day the brick wall is reached with a size-able impact. Sometimes it is up to us to remind ourselves of our worth in the face of all that seems bleak. It really is true that someone somewhere is thinking good thoughts of you and are thankful for the blessings, smiles and that special touch only YOU can bring by being the person YOU are. Its not always visible so YOU need to remind yourself that this fact IS true no matter what you think of yourself or your life.

BELIEVE! In what? YOU! You can do it. Whatever it is you want but you need to believe and take the above advice. Small steps, accept yourself, love yourself, respect yourself and realise your own true worth. It is not always easy ... you will fail at times and when you do go back to the beginning and start again with the little steps. Its like learning to walk or ride a bike, if you fall off and never get back up you will never learn how to do it, but if you get back up again, shake the dust off, face your fears and try again and again soon you will be smiling not just on the surface but from your heart. If you hit the same brick walls over and over maybe try do something differently. After all if you do what you have always done you WILL most likely end up getting what you have always gotten.

Sometimes in life we need to struggle a bit to really appreciate what we have. Chin up cuz you are beautiful and you are alive and that is a great gift to have no matter what. Just imagine that gift was given to you by your best mate, someone you highly respect, or your child ... you wouldn't just throw it away would you?

And scroll back to the top of this post if ya want another hug. Mmmmmwahs!

Just a Song

2009-07-21T09:23:00.004+10:00

Ok so some of you may not be into the dance music but if you can turn your ears off to the repetitive beat that annoys you - most likely the minute of monotony in the intro to the song- .... listen to the lyrics (even look them up if you cant follow by sound alone), bop your head, tap your foot a bit, sway this way n that in your own groove - you may even want to get up, dance and sing "I gotta dream big yeah" by the end of it - hey you may even feel inspired enough to do so. It works for me.

Aim for the Moon cuz if you miss you will always land amongst the stars

Oh Buggar it!!! Ive decided to put the lyrics here for you

Packing up my shh and I'm going real far
Going off to Hollywood to be a big star
There's nothing here for me so I gotta move fast
And I'm getting on the road and will never look back (hey)

Chorus
I gotta dream big (dream big)cuz when it happen its gon' happen real quick (yes I feel it, I gotta)
I gotta move fast cuz when it happen I cant let it move past (only get one chance)

Cant spend another second sitting on my mama's couch
So if I dont take a chance I wont ever get out
Some people talk but never do they just running they mouth
But I mean just what I say and Ima show them about yeah

Chorus

When it feel like you been waiting all your life for the second
You'll be a fool to just let it past so go and get it
No matter near or far, to the moon, the stars
I'll do whatever I need to follow my dream

Chorus

Stay fabulous Beautiful People!!!!

The Private Millionaire and other Programs

2009-07-20T13:23:00.004+10:00

Firstly I have to say I am quite impressed with myself. This week I have gone from smoking a pack or so a day of cigarettes to only smoking around a pack all week. I have not bought myself smokes since last Wednesday although have pinched one here and there from friends. I gave up on those odd accupuncture things in my ear that looked both weird (I had people thinking I had gone and got some strange new piercings hehehe) and they hurt, so I may as well have got them pierced then Id have some jewellery to show off for the money I spent lol. I am using the inhalers solution again, knowing that most of my smoking is triggered by boredom, habit and the need to fidget more so than about nicotine addiction. Given the right conditions I dont crave a smoke .... but leave me to get bored and then I'll chain smoke without even a thought. With some more determination there may just be some hope that I will become the non smoker I never thought I would be before I began really taking the idea seriously since my last visit to the lung specialist just over a year ago.

Well thats enough all about Mi ... how about we make some money for a change. It has been a while since giving an update in the money making arena. Being focused on other areas in my life I have been a bit slow in making money online this year but hey I have made a little with not a lot of effort so cannot complain when I look at it. I havent LOST any money so that is a definite plus.

****DO NOT MISS THIS ONE****

First of all I want to share The Private Millionaire. I joined this site and well as much as I didnt make a killing due to being an utter newbie and a total half assed effort at advertising it, I did make a few bucks and more than I have in a lot of places. Others who promoted it ALOT more actively than me made some nice figures from it. A month or so ago I discovered that it had disappeared mysteriously but only for a short time. Thanks to our trusted friends and honest marketers JS and Blondie (both being an invaluable wealth of information) I didnt totally miss out when I formatted my pc in turn losing the email and information to find that it has not disappeared totally and is in fact back on track with a new name and a sister site. It is now known as The Old Millionaire and the sister site is Make-Millions-While-You -Sleep. There are even a few who have already made a few new sales of the report. I invite you to check it out, it is not free to start but the outlay is not huge for the return you WILL get if you do put some effort into it. If you have ANY questions or need help in any way please feel free to reach out and I am happy to give you a hand. They both contain quite a bit to take in to begin with but it is well worth the time spent. I do believe in these programs, there is no time requirement of you to surf daily or pay any ongoing or upgrade fees once you are set up and you dont even have to pay for advertising if you do not want to, jut check out the free to join traffic exchanges, you can find some of them on my Mission Money Blog listed under Advertising Tools and Traffic Exchanges. If you are looking for an easy product to market that has unlimited potential then I suggest you make sure you do not miss these two programs.

The Old Millionaire

Make-Millions-While-You -Sleep

Ok so what else has been plodding along to make a buck in my online world? I have always been happy with Bux-Matrix since I joined it. Yet another program that is not here today gone tomorrow. For those who do not know there are 2 ways in which you can earn. You can earn for free ... otherwise the slow way. It is like any other paid to click program where you earn for viewing advertisers listed sites. If you upgrade to Pro member you have many more ads to view and earn from. All purchases and upgrades you make through the site are seemless and very fast so you are not waiting for days to see things happen. There is also the matrix side of the program you can earn from and has unlimited potential depending on how much effort YOU put into advertising the opportunity. Check it out if you dont mind spending a little time clicking and/or advertising to watch your money grow.

So you've seen the saying its all in the list? How do you build a list of people to advertise to and avoid being a spammer? Have you see Work For $3? It is another one that has been around a while now and is a great way to build your list and earn some extra cash while doing so. Like most programs it will depend on your marketing efforts as to what results you can reap, but it is also another one that has unlimited potential if you work at it. If you are skeptical because you are a newbie or been burnt in the past from other programs but would still like to take a chance at increasing your list of contacts as well as your earnings then email mi as I have a few free memberships to give away to help get you, or maybe even someone else you know that may be interested to get started.

Time for this little pink duck to waddle off and get a few other things done in my day. Dont forget to check out My Mission Money Blog for more money making programs, tools and advertising opportunities both paid and free and remember to email mi if you have any questions about anything I have listed or written about.

May Your Journeys Always Be An Adventure

Now Im no Miley Fan and Hannah Montanna well yeah nah its NOT my thing one bit BUT I have to admit that I do like this song. Like it or not its true to me.

A year already!!!! + some

2009-07-19T17:32:00.007+10:00

Hello there gorgeous people. Hope this post finds you all as fabulous as I am .. well to be honest with this damn flu I truly hope your feeling more fabulous than myself right now. I have struggled to sit here today out of pure stubbornness since I spent best part of yesterday in a rather non functioning state on my lounge floor watching somewhere between the ceiling, tv and the back of my eyelids.

So my face feels like it really wants to fall off, brain pounding in what feels like an effort to explode out of every part of my head and feeling like I am wrapped in an electric blanket turned on high. At least Im not in and out of the freezer as well like it felt like I was yesterday.

Anyway enough drama ... after all its just a cold!!! Big sook mi!

I have put up some new pics, some were up with my previous design and have added some new ones also showing off a few of my favourite things for something random to do. I am amazed at how long it can take to sort through and upload pictures. Im also amazed at how Ive managed to get through over 2000 pics to narrow down to just these. One thing I have is a huge job ahead of me to sort through duplicates etc ... too many to bother with for now. A job for another bored day. Maybe I should be more organised but I dont mind the chaos at times.

If you havent already done so I recommend you go have a read of Cats blog today .....titled This Is Good. Just a short story I think we should all be able to take something from.

Oh and guess what!?!?! Can you believe this time 12 months ago I was all packed up and spending my last night in Adelaide. Around an hour ago I would have won $75 at the pub having my last drinks with an ex and be about ready to stagger out for a bite to eat. Quite an unreal feeling. My daughter has been back every holidays, all bar easter, but I havent been back at all. I am looking forward to receiving my final group certificate in the next week or so to do my tax. I am anticipating a semi decent return with which I will be booking myself a holiday back at xmas time. I am looking forward to it very much and will be a good test to see if I still want to stay here. I miss my friends dearly, I miss going out with them, I miss not being able to catch up whenever I like and was used to. I dont often admit to being homesick or wanting to return but occasionally I do get that way. I have the comment "Im loving it up here" programmed in I think more to convince myself than anyone, but in truth life here is just life and really not much different to what it was there ... its just warmer and Im more alone. I often wont admit it out loud for fear ... of failure? more hard work? missing out on something better? being told I told you so? .... I dont know what the fear is to be honest but I know there is a fear. I wonder if the biggest part of what wont let me even think too much about returning to live is basically the stubborn streak in me that quite often refuses to go backwards in any part of my life rational or not. That, the destructive relationship I finally tore myself away from and the rutt that I ended up in for a while as a side effect from it. I still do not see me living here forever, this was really just an escape from all that had me feel like I lost the person I was. Who knows what direction the future holds for the mission impossible that is mi n my life. I get torn at times knowing how much my daughter wants to return to Adelaide and wonder if she decides to go back at the end of the year like there is talk of whether I can live with me here and her there. I know in my heart I dont want to live in different states. Decisions, decisions that may or may not have to be made in the near future. All that aside though I am proud of myself for having come so far in the short time I had from deciding to leave until now. I think I am even starting to find myself again in all the chaos of the last couple of years. Theres still a few unpacked boxes so heres hoping I find the rest of mi in one of them hehehehe.

Well the tummy rumbles and have the radar slowly starting to tune in to search for some edible matter around the neighbourhood. I may have to go assist it in zoning in on the right flavours for the evening.

Stay fabulous.

Always remember ... if you do what you have always done you will get what you have always gotten ..... and smile often so your wrinkles fall the right way. Mmmmmmwahs :-P

*****************************************

Ok as an add on to the post about my daughter .. well the decisions now need to be thought more seriously about. She hit me with definitely wanting to go back. I knew in my gut this was coming again. I kept hoping she may decide to stay here ... but then with everything we had set up in Adelaide, friends, family all she knew Im not surprised that she would be more at home there. What about me? Oh dear! I dont know. I know work would be easy to get there, I know getting back would be easy and would have many hands out ready to help and already wishing us back. Big question though ... would I be happy taking a step back ... do I have it in me to go back? What about here? I have a job Im somewhat comfortable in, I have a roof over my head, sure I know a couple of people and REALLY enjoy the weather, but what would it all be without my girl around? I know I have to get used to the fact she will leave home one day anyway, do I get used to it at the end of the year? Or do I go back with her. Support for her there is no issue .. she has her dad and he is a good one at that, not to mention many others, but its not me. My heart is pounding hard at the thought of not going with her and confused as hell about going. This is sure one moment I wouldnt mind my old friend vodka to come knocking on my door for a few hours company just to slow my brain down, but that wont be happening. Sure I dont have to decide now ... but given how time flies I dont have that long to decide either given what a big move it will be whether its only one or both of us going back. I think instead of planning my xmas holidays when my tax return comes in I may need to go for an earlier holiday to see how it feels there now. All I can say is Im in a huge conflict over this one .... although bit sooner than expected. Can someone else start making my decisions please??? My head hurts when I try lol.

AHHHHHHH!!!!!

2009-07-16T13:28:00.010+10:00

Dont you hate it when you talk too soon.

Ok so I go to re-install things and explorer decides to have some continuous mysterious error. Ohhhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy GOODNESS!!! In short the last 4 days have been a bit like this.

Hmmmm

Ok shes not well

So Im

Over and over
Trying Every things I know

Thinking, trying, re-installing, updating, thinking

Every now and then anyway

So Im like

different error

different error

solutions a million and one

And repeating this process too many times

Then Finally

Wait

dont talk to soon

keep reinstalling the necessary basics

keep re-installing

and almost done

FINALLY

And with that, the startings of a cold and other things I have to do will wish you all a wonderful day. Stay beautiful people!!!!

I hate my computer!!!

2009-07-13T16:36:00.003+10:00

Ok so that is not the whole truth but it certainly frustrates the hell out of me when it isnt working right. I somehow managed to pick up something malicious from a web site a few days ago. My pc just shut down and thats it. I rebooted all cool ... well for a while. My internet connection decides although it shows me all the right signs of being connected wont load pages then it will, then it wont and AHHHHHHH!!!!! RAGE BLACKOUT!!! Visions of throwing my computer over the balcony, not for the first time.

Ok so thats NOT my balcony but its still a similar sentiment.

So I try to find whatever it as that has started to wreak havoc, next my computer flickers and reboots. Grrr!!! This happens a half dozen times. Im like WTF!?!?!?! Ok so buggar it. I cant stay in the operating system, try safe mode and blah to no avail. I give up and go to sleep for a few hours, go pick up my daughter from the airport after her holiday back in Adelaide, spend some time and lets try again ... all the same results. Every now and then I will get a page or half page loaded but more often than not a thing at all or page cannot be found. NOT bloody happy. Mission Impossible .... Im offline. Ok so when all else fails I decide what the hell, reformat and install everything from scratch. Great, operating system ... fine ... go get updates and blah blah blah. Same internet problem, cant stay online. Modem seems fine but the connection itself ... dead. Stuff it 1:30 am Im over the issue for another day. Hair falling out and far too much caffiene for one day.

Back to it today ... Im lost .. ring the broadband support .... 3 times! Operators that can barely speak along with bad reception and no solution to my problem after I dont know how many hours on the phone and waiting. Once disconnected from the call, second to be walked through everything I had already tried and to be told to call back a couple of hours later when THEIR system where they needed to access the area to reset my internet connection was not down for maintenance blah blah freakin blah!!! Getting unhappier and thinking of going to a new ISP if I cant be connected at some stage. Try a friends modem who has same ISP ... ok so that one works on my pc!!! Now Im frustrated. Surfing fine, loading pages, everything dandy ... but its not MY connection. So remove that and back to mine, no difference, cant load crap! BLAH! Breath in get more coffee and decide maybe I did something wrong with the install. Try again, and again , no luck. 3rd call to support asked to reset the connection ... and they did ... well so they said but who knows. Made no difference STILL. OMG!!! Ok so heres a random thought I have another drive in my computer I only use for storage... lets do a little test. Back up files, format and install operating system and modem. Online fine, activated windows again, no problems ... in fact everything operating faster than it has for as long as I can remember, back to all pages loading proper and still no closer to understanding why the hell it was so hard to get it all happening as usual on my normal drive. All I can say is maybe its giving up the ghost? Do I care ... Im over it for no so no, not as long as Im online :-}. Now to continue re-installing the rest of my programs I like to play with.

Arent computers fun?

There she goes ....

2009-07-08T16:58:00.004+10:00

The day was rather average. No fighting at least. They were packing up the house to move. It was her 14th birthday, no celebration of any kind this year with the move. Her mum and her mums boyfriend giving no idea of where they would all be moving to. Only information known was they had to move. She nagged her mum all day "Where are we moving to?" over and over.

Bitter that they had to move, she hated being with them, she hated not knowing where they were going, she hated not having a birthday ... not that many others were anything to write home to add to the book of good stories about. Her mum just shrugged off answering by asking where did her daughter wanted to go. She kept stating spitefully that her mum knew where she wanted to go. They had argued about it many times in desperate pleas to leave home. Her mums best friends place.

She had dreamed for most of her childhood to stay with mums best friend. To her she was kind and cool and there was never any fighting at her place. She also had a son her age, 9 months difference, to play with rather than always being alone or having to look after her little brother who was only just about to turn year old. She wished she had a mum like her.

The day went by packing into the afternoon with help from her mums boyfriends brothers. They were all having a break in an empty bedroom when she nagged yet again about where they were moving to and back to the same old question from her mum. Same answer. Her mum replied "fine then go, thats what you want."

In shock at hearing she is allowed to go (having unsuccessfully run away from home many times before), she asks permission to call to ask, knowing it would be ok by her mums best friend. Nastily her mum replied that she didnt care go for it and handed her the money to make the phone call.

She walks to the end of the street and makes the call. All is ok as she had thought . Her mums best friend would be happy to have her. So home she goes with tears and butterflies in disbelief this was actually happening. She was LEAVING home. Was she happy? Was she sad? Was it just relief? No more having to put up with her boyfriends nasty cruel ways, no fighting, no more watching her mum being beaten regularly. Across the road she asked another of mums friends if she would mind driving her. Her mum wouldnt. If she wanted to go she had to do it on her own, lucky to get the 40 cents for the phone call. With a ride organised she loads her belongings, a cane basket of clothes, some matchbox cars and not alot else, into the car of the lady across the road.

There was an awkward goodbye to all in the mostly empty house. It wasnt going to be greatly missed ... it was full of bad memories anyway, it was just the longest she had been anywhere in her life before even if it was only about 3 years. Her mum who she loved dearly and hated leaving, her mums boyfriend who she loathed was ignored, his brothers awkward and polite. They were like the clowns at the show that always turn their heads left n right and you put balls in the mouths of for points watching her go. Her mum didnt even hug her goodbye, no see you soon ... Just quiet.

Then she was gone on her 14th birthday.

In her new room, her new life. No violence. No screaming in the night. No running and hiding in the cold night trying to get away from it all. It took some time but she got used to it. Her mums son helped get her out to meet people, soon she was out playing with kids in the neighbourhood alot more than she was used to. She was allowed to go to parties, to the shop, walk around the block, where ever, have friends over even. She explored the world around her with her new friends. She learnt how to break into houses. She learnt how to get drunk. How to wag school, how to stay out late at night, sneak out the window, all about the things she shouldnt know about boys. How to get sent to court, narrowly escaping being sent to jail thanks to her mums release from prison that morning and showing up at the court case, having the same judge, and how to get kicked out of school all by the time she was 14 and a half. It didnt take long before her mums best friend couldnt take it. She tried grounding, yelling, wooden spoon to no avail. She had 2 of us to deal with doing all of the above and more. Soon came a day her mums best friend threatened to send her back to her mum. In sheer horror of the thought she packed a few bags of clothes and walked out the door.

For the following 3-4 years I learnt to survive on the streets, occasionally with friends, refuges, whatever I could to learn a step at a time .... To never go back.

A moment

2009-07-04T02:41:00.013+10:00

What is the deal? What is it for real? 6 or so years go by ... in touch ... no sight ... no touch, nor kiss ... always remaining a secret dream. A fantasy? A connection? A mystery attraction unexplored, unexplained. Strong. Always there just beneath the surface. Something that never seems to fade. Pushed aside for reality, never chased for fears ... many there are. Always another life away yet somehow strangely close to the soul. Mysterious it lingers, drawn to you. In us something always there ... touching ... deep. Pictures ... thoughts in two minds on occasions textually shared. What is it about you? What is it about me? A day may draw closer to where 2 people, once again stand face to face. Two alone in the night. How to fit in so many years into a moment so short. Clock ticks loud ... a reminder of just how fast time flies. Heart beating. Anticipation building ... think not of reality. What is wrong is somehow so right, suddenly unstoppable. The secret fight, deep, personal. Pushed aside, but not so far away. A devil? An Angel? A never ending spontaneous surprise. Two untouchable and yearning for the touch. Secret visions, dreams, sensual, surreal, passionate and taboo. Just what is it about me and you? A Pandoras box inviting to be opened. How can nothing be felt so strongly? Nothing? It cant be that when theres much more inside. Always so close. Always so far. Melting inside ... feeling but not a dare to speak the words that echo in the distance of ones? mind. So strong, unexplained, so rare, special and yet unseen? Like a warm breeze enveloping you in the cold, the suns first warm rays of light stroking your cool skin ... slowly, magically filling you warm and fuzzy inside. Fire like warmth. Soemthing like hanging off a tall edge comfortably knowing you can never fall. The line in between. Hidden love? Hidden lust? What in the universe brings this to us? A fantasy that becomes reality? Ignorant of all other reality that remains. A day may draw closer, so many unspoken words, so many wonders and continually seeking to fall back into the silence of feeling for words too often underestimate. The fear. The excitement. Images you help paint. Wanting. Needing. No searching for understanding. Rational? Rare and dare not to speak a word. Just to savour a moment? A dream? Almost there? Almost real? A gem so rare. Dreams meeting reality? Fully? In part? Incomplete? What is that underlying? The connection, so distant yet strong. Past Life? The future? The present? A forbidden fruit or something meant to be the way it is. Something discovered when two meet? For a moment when nothing else in the world will exist .... a short moment ... that will live forever in 2 lives. To become touched and again untouchable until?

Haunting, Beautiful and Very special to me

Some doors may be made of glass but they cant always be seen through clearly.

Keeping in touch

2009-07-01T18:16:00.003+10:00

Well I have 11 days without my daughter. It is always a weird feeling when I drop her to the airport when she goes back to Adelaide for holidays. There is a lot of wishing I could be going too, but damn having to work and be responsible. Unfortunately time being unwell recently took my plans of going for a holiday with her this time around away and pushed them back until christmas time. In 19 days I will have been here for 12 months. So surreal when I look back on the whole journey. It has been full of mixed emotion and much learning about myself amongst many things. All in all I am proud I have made it so far. My life is far from the rut I saw it being before I made the decision to move even if it does still have its challenges.

I had fun last week trying to put new windscreen wipers on my car. First time I have personally replaced them. OH MY GOODNESS!!! What a job that turned out to be. It took 2 days and 2 sets of wipers to finally get them in. I thought originally maybe being the cheaper set of wipers maybe they werent made too well and was the cause of the difficulty but upon closer inspection who ever changed them before me has stuffed the clamps that hold them on. They were all different sizes!!! I ended up ramming the end of one of the arms into my thumb ... bloody OUCH!!!! And what timing ... just as I did that and had blood running freely the neighbour arrived home which meant I had to move my car immediately so he could get his car into his park (I was doing this all in the underground carpark). So with my thumb in immense pain and blood running down my hand I reverse my car back into my park trying to avoid blood getting on my clothes and upholstery .... with some success too. So car back in its spot I leave the windscreen wipers hanging not even half done and attend to my thumb to stop it bleeding. Its the worst possible spot too .. all week I have been bumping the tip of my thumb and breaking the skin again damn thing. I have NEVER had such problems getting blades on any car previously. So the next day I get a friend to go buy the next best pair of blades that werent the cheap ones hoping that may help .... but no I end up ruining one of them totally and go back to trying the cheaper ones. No luck I ruined one of them too, so with that I had one blade in and 3 ruined blades. In the end I had to take the blade itself out of the better set and thread it into the backing of one of the cheaper ones that I hadnt TOTALLY bent beyond repair and after what seemed like forever finally got the bastards in. I hope I dont have to change them again before Iam able to get a new car. If I do I am going to one of the rarest things ever ..... pay someone else to take care of it. I hope they have better luck than I did lol. Oh well bit of fun.

I applied for an electronics traineeship last week with Nokia. I am not sure what my chances are of getting in for an interview but hey heres fingers crossed. The email reply stated I should know in 2 weeks if I have made it through to the next recruitment process. Wish me luck ... it would be a foot in the door towards a dream come true for me.

I also had TAFE call me regarding a course, certificate 3 in I.T, that I enquired into some time back letting me know they still have positions open in their course, admittedly cert 3 in I.T doesnt REALLY take me down the path Im mostly interested in so tomorrow I plan to look into it a little more and see where they offer the electronics courses up here. I would rather more hands on with the hardware side of gadgets. I do plan to be back studying by the start of next year and pushing myself towards leaving hospitality work for good.

Well I am off for now to go wandering through cyberspace.

Stay beautiful and keep well

Laugh at our Prime Minister ... why not we do ... oh and other dribble

2009-06-22T15:26:00.002+10:00

Damn forgot to grab a coffee .... brb

Ok back ...

So how are you all on this fine day? Well its not really fine its been fully pissing down all day here.

I am slowly running out of patience with my dinosaur of a computer. Shes around 8 years old so I guess I shouldnt be surprised at its pitiful performance.Im dreaming of the day I can justify and afford a new one.

With no work I have spent most of my day in a few of my favourite traffic exchanges and have to say 1 thing that is the ultimate gripe with a number of web pages. Audio and videos that autoplay when you get to the page. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! And rip my hair out every time. I would appreciate being able to listen to my music and having the ability to chose who I want to listen to and what video I want to see. I do not bother watching many videos on the basis that it both sucks the crap out my internet connection with the buffering time it takes for most of them to load and in turn slows EVERYTHING I am trying to do on my dinosaur computer. The processor just cannot handle video and audio in web pages while I am surfing many pages. So not only do I have to have my sound off and unable to enjoy the music on my computer in the order of how I want to listen to my songs I have to deal with my processor trying to blow out 100% usage .... especially when the page containing autoplay audio and video contain lots of flashing banner adds and other scripts loading. I do not know how many web browser crashes I have to endure due to surfing many pages at once. Ok so maybe I should chose to not surf so many at once.... but then i dont particularly have time to surf each exchange alone, after all I am usually only doing 3-4 at one time. But anyway .... Im sure my bitch aint going to change much but I sure do wish people who want audio and video in their pages would not have them set to autoplay. Sure you want my attention.. you have something to offer, thats fine... but have the respect to let ME chose what I want to see or hear. The autoplays get turned off immediately and I never look at or listen to something by someone who is not considerate enough to give other users the choice to listen/watch or not.

Ok so thats my gripe for the day lol.

On to something a bit lighter. Anyone from Oz would, or should ... if you dont then where the heck have you been hiding over the past years ..., know the show RoveLive. Im not so sure if theres muchof a following overseas. Now I have recently been suckered into watching it upon realising the need for me to learn how to relax my mind a bit. For those who are simillar to me and have a rather BROAD sense of humour I have decided to include some of the videos from the show. Now be warned ..... sometimes this show borders on being wrong on many levels. If you are one of those people who are racially, religously or politically sensitive then I suggest not hitting the play button. This is for those who can laugh at themselves as much as they can laugh at everyone else, apparently a typical Aussie trait. My favourite in his show takes the piss out our Prime Minister ... Mr Kevin Rudd, to me he so0o0o0o looks like he belongs on a can of Mr Sheen, maybe I should get photoshop and put him on one hehehe. Anyway ... you will find them in the other column just below my fave blog list if you want to laugh at our Prime Minister just like we do. Remember ... if you are easily offended then do not watch them. I will not take crap because you are offended at something I find humorous. You are entitled to and I wont knock your heightened sensitivity to things just as I am entitled to being able to laugh at the most questionable of things.

Ok well Im off to put up one of the epsiodes of Kevin Rudd P.M before I run? well ok walk but in any way Im on my way to bed in the hope work wont be cancelled on me again tomorrow .... I know the bad weather is supposed to carry on tomorrow so there may be a possibility of it .. otherwise I may just end up saturated from running in the rain just like I was Sunday lol. Oh the joy of working outdoors.

10DollarsWonder - just how Im seeing it

2009-06-18T13:37:00.006+10:00

Well this should really be on the other blog but will put it here for now.

I was just at 10 DollarsWonder overseeing my account and making sure Ive missed no changes of rules or whatever. Anyway I began to think about it all a bit.

Now here he has not long ago introduced another "NEW" system. Buy more! Buy more! Now dont get me wrong I have no problems with him trying to stimulate things and try get more members .... active members. It takes money to make money here quite simply put. Now remember the LAST "NEW" system rules anyone? Same thing ...to get high priority positions BUY MORE!! BUY MORE!! So I did ... for every position I had.

Remember the withdrawal rules?
NONE FOR 30 DAYS AFTER LOCKING YOUR ACCOUNT IN
40% EVERY WEEK FOR 6 months, 50% AFTER THAT and so on to 100% withdrawal after 3 years. Yeah cool ... I even finally got through the initial 6 months and made 1 50 % withdrawal before the next "NEW" system was bought in. So now we have some high priority positions set to medium-low and then ALL of those along with ALL the old high priority positions cycle as well as the low priority positions now.

Ok so this may be heavily dependent and directly related to a massive drop in members purchasing in 10 Dollarswonder ... I DO understand that for positions to cycle there needs to be positions purchased by ALL members.

So now NEW purchased and AUC positions cycle well. I cannot complain about those "few" positions. What about the rest of my high priority positions??? Well Ive given up even seeing if they move, grass would grow quicker.

But the rules .... when we locked into the "NEW" new system we were back to the same old restrictions

No withdraw for 30 days (starts from Lock-in date).

You can withdraw up to 40% from your balance every week (7 days) after 30 days.

You can withdraw up to 50% from your balance every week (7 days) after 6 months.

You can withdraw up to 70% from your balance every week (7 days) after 1 year (12 months).

You can withdraw up to 80% from your balance everyday (24 hours) after 2 year.

You can withdraw up to 90% from your balance everyday after 3 year.

Pretty straight forward stuff ...... BUT what about when you take into account the following statement ....

Auto-repurchase:

If you have balance over $20, you must withdraw, repurchases or both in 10 days. Otherwise, the system will repurchase for you with 50% of your balance.

Do the math... if you can ONLY withdraw 40 % of your balance every week because the new system hasnt hit 6 months yet. You would need a considerable amount of positions cycling regularly under the "NEW" system to be able to get MORE than $20.00 within 10 days to enable you to reach the 40% you can withdraw. So then the "system" forces auto purchase with 50 % of your commissions once you are over $20.00, so unless I get in a position to put in chunks of cash to balance it all out I wont even be able to withdraw what Ive earnt before he forces me to spend half until F$# Knows when. Maybe Ive added it up wrong but at the angle Im seeing it from... well Im not seeing it as very fair at all.

I also look after an accout for a friend ... all HIGH PRIORITY from the last so-called promotion and not a single one has cycled since this "NEW" new system BS was introduced. Wont say scam ... but it is borderlining on being just a rip-off in my eyes. So called BUSINESS pfffft yeah right. Its a big fat game of chance that you get in and make something before he decides to move the goal posts again.

AND he cant STILL cant even get 10 centclub up and running. He should do whats just and right and REFUND anyone who had commissions in E2Epay instead of continuing the 10 cent club which I am feeling at this stage to be nothing but a farse to keep those who have commissions in there shut up. But hey ... he never listened when I was support so I cant see he will now. I have emailed in regards to this and of course we know the reply ... none.

Meh !!! I expect there will be another new system available soon to screw over those who have jumped, conformed and parted with cash to line his pockets already. I am NOT saying it is a scam ... it is NOT. Just a VERY hard system and he just makes it harder all the time to see it as a worthwhile program to be participating in.

just my views and experience. If you can see Ive misunderstood something please feel free to point it out.

Just Silly

2009-06-15T06:33:00.009+10:00

When I moved from my place in Adelaide I had a foxtel connection I was in the middle of a contract with. To not face massive charges for something I didnt have we came to an agreement that I would pay a $5 a month suspension fee. I held onto the foxtel IQ (which we have a lot recorded - mostly my daughters stuff tho) and multiroom boxes. All good.

To date due to financial and unstable living arrangements I have not yet felt I am in the position re-connect it but had been thinking about soon maybe since I am getting me feet on the ground finally. Anyway I had a call from them a couple of days ago. My contract has ended so I do have the choice to just return their equipment and be done with it. Although when I say my choice she is making a point to be making my decision then and there because they cannot "suspend my service any longer"

Cool, but I do admit I kind of enjoyed some of the freedoms foxtel with IQ when I had it to be able to watch what I wanted when I wanted to. I do not watch a lot of tv so miss a lot of shows I may enjoy watching if I had the time and energy to watch them religously. I ask what my other options are.

"Oh we have a great deal where you can get IQ free for a year. All we do is come pick up your old box and give you a new one and your away with whatever package you chose. Are you happy with that?"
Hmmm ... yes and no ... interested in hearing more I think but I state my reservation ... "yeah cool, but I dont need a new box as I already have the IQ box with stuff we have already recorded so can I just keep the same box."
"well the deal is only available to new customers so no you cannot keep your exiting box you would need to hand it in and get a new one."
Not happy, I have already paid for what I have on there as far as Im concerned and point this out. Telling her "I dont like that" she cuts me off referring to handing the boxes back and totally cancelling. "I said I wasnt happy with the deal of losing the box I didnt say I wanted to cancel. Can you tell me invlolved in just connecting the existing box as I already have it." This has not been connected for close to 12 months now so its not REALLY a transfer of connection in my mind. Maybe its just me but to transfer a connection something needs to be connected right? They have had every recent address since I moved so they dont even have to enter a change of address. "oh the transfer of your existing account will cost you $100 and you cant get the IQ free for a year deal, you would have to cancel your account and open a new one for that so what do you want to do cancel?"

OMG!!! Does this woman want to help a customer stay with the company or does she want me to bloody cancel?!?! I mean really!!! She keeps bringing it up, Im just asking my options. In the end I tell her that I cannot make such a financial decision on the spot and would need at least 48 hours to think it through, mainly because I was getting annoyed with the way she was A? wanting me to make a decision on the spot and B) she kept referring to cancelling when I just want to know what my full options are.

If she asks me if Im happy or not (like she did) with what she has to offer then yes of course Im not going to be sheepish and say yes if Im not, I dont blame her personally and wont treat her with disrespect doing a job relaying the STUPID rules some of these companies make . Of course Im going to point out the ridiculousness of having to get a piece of equipment replaced for no reason and even more ridiculous they want to charge me $100 to transfer something that, well, is really no more than the new connection they would give me for free "if I swap boxes". No change of details, no new equipment but they will charge me $100 to do less than whats involved in the other option of creating a so called "new account". Not to mention my point being the fact I agreed to keep the account suspended and held on to the boxes so that I did not lose the content already recorded to it when I chose to re-connect it most importantly. They didnt charge me anything to transfer the connection between my old place to my friends place in adelaide where I was staying which makes me feel even more that this is just ridiculous really.

It would cost them more time and energy if I chose to cancel the account and start a new one ... so Im classed as a "NEW customer" an get everything free anyway. So after all this babble of what have I decided? Im going to be a pain in the ass, which I hate doing but I also hate these big companies stupid rules even more sometimes. Im expecting them to call today since they called Thursday. I will get to the top of the foxtel food chain, someone who DOESNT want to lose a customer, and give them THEIR options to retain a customer. Simple ... now I dont care about whether I get IQ free but they either waive the $100 transfer fee they want to charge me for doing basically nothing OR they can lose a customer outright. Its up to them how much they want to make or lose out of me, I certainly wont be deciding to spend more than I have to.

In all it just seems like ridiculous logic to not waive the $100 transfer fee in order to make thousands more, mainly considering that they wouldnt charge any of it if I took their new deal and create a so-called "new account". What idiots are in charge of logic behind company rules? Obviously no-one as usual.

Anyway so thats my bitch for the day lol...

Here is something funny I saw on the news. Many of you may have already seen it but I just couldnt resist putting it up here. An answer to an age old question Why did the chicken cross the road? Well this chook has it pretty sweet on the other side dont you think?

Chicken Crosses the Road ... for Doughnuts @ Yahoo!7 Video

Its gotta be a Homer chicken ..... (droooling) hmmmmmm brk brk brk! donuts!

Have great day. Im off to do a few things.

xox-Missi-xox

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2009-06-13T20:03:00.002+10:00

I will make this short. Sorry for the "all over the shop" appearance of things here at the moment. You will also notice some things have gone missing. Some of it temporarily while I am re-designing everything to the way I want it other stuff will be moved to my new blog.

I decided to add a twitter widget to leave short messages in between posts. I think its as cool as it is lame really. Hope someone somewhere gets a kick out of it. Im quite new to the whole Twitter Twittomenon. Whether I stick with it will be seen in time I guess.

I hope you like my design so far and decided to leave you with a most appropriate song song to enjoy the rather (temporarily) messed up state of my page, go have tea and see if I cant tidy the code up to align everything before I go to bed.

Who doesnt love a bit of Bowie classic

Keep well beautiful people

xox-Missi-xox

A few new things

2009-06-11T21:19:00.002+10:00

Hey beautiful people. How are you all today? Its mid-evening right now in Ozzie Land and rather bloody cold for the first time since Ive been here. Although, knowing what temperatures some of you endure I really have nothing to complain about. Im just a big wuss when it comes to the cold. If theres one thing I hate its being cold one bit. The cold rates up there with spiders as far as things I really could do without in my world and they both make me shudder.

Whats new? Well a few things. Firstly I have been working on My Mission Money. I had started it once but have restarted it again from scratch. I will now start working towards accumulating all I have learnt about making money online and whats working or not for me over there. I have a view to soon redesigning Obscure Labyrinth again and remove many of the advertising links soon, keep business and play separate so to speak. I know my regular friends who visit here are either already a part of the programs I have listed so far on the new site or just plain not interested in making money online and thats all good but if you could at least check it out and let me know what you think it would be greatly appreciated feedback. Intro to the new Mission Money project. Lets see if I can keep this train on its rails hehehe.

I had recently formatted my pc, so had to back everything up. As a result I have happened across many things that I have signed up to and forgotten about over time.

This one I stumbled across in the pile is not essentially a money making opportunity/business but you can make money from referrals and think it could be handy tool for some.

If you could use 6 gigs of free file storage space to put pictures, videos, e-books, documents or whatever that you want to either access anywhere or share with others, then this could be a handy one for you.
They also have a feature to help you set up the ability to sell your own legal original files to give some that could use this service an extra avenue to increase their earnings potential.
You can get unlimited storage from $5. Ok so what am I babbling about already? Orbit Files is the site. I used it some time ago to share some files I had with a friend in another state. It is quick, easy and simple to use. Anyway if online storage space, file sharing sounds like something you could use or your just plain curious then check it out

Another program that caught my interest today is Linkbucks. I am still checking it out and seeing how it all works. I have a post on Mission Money about it if you are interested in knowing more. Any feedback from anyone in the know about this one would be very handy to have.

Well it is getting late here and I want to get a few more things done so stay well, chat soon.

Mmmmmmwahs!

xox-Missi-xox

Happy Birthday, bitchn n budgies!

2009-06-04T07:04:00.004+10:00

Well firstly I just wanted to wish a BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our friend JS of 9 Planet Reviews. Hope you have a great day where ever and what ever you are doing in this wild n wonderful world.

I was disappointed to find yesterday that $200 was stolen from my paypal/bank account that I am now in the midst of trying to get back. I hope who ever did it is bloody happy. They've just taken it from a 15 yr old girl who has been waiting a couple of months patiently for her mum to be able to afford that shopping trip which we had been planning to do this afternoon. I finally get there and now mum has the awesome job of letting her down until this blasted crap is sorted and I get the cash back into my bank. Will be weeks now. Not to mention leaving me short on registering my car, another thing that I wont be able to do this week now. Not happy one bit. Thems one of the problems you risk facing online I guess. I have changed passwords and upgraded the security measures. Just hell pissed!

On the up side my 10 DW withdrawal request came through well within the 14 days. I did want to use that to buy a couple more positions but now I think Im going to have to withdraw it to the real world thanks to the bastards who stole my $200.

I got a new member in the family. A couple of weeks ago my female budgie got away for the 2nd time. Unfortunately I was not so lucky getting her back this time. My poor buddy Chuckles looked like he needed a new friend ... or could it just be that I cant ever own 1 animal, I always seem to own them in pairs. Maybe its the gemini in me who needs a pet for each twin hehehe. So anyway I have to take a photo or 2 later to show you all. She is a beautiful blue and white, almost looks like the sky when your looking at her wings, although she has a feint hint of purple through her head and shoulder feathers that seems to shimmer in some light. I am quite surprised that even though she has only been home with us for 2 days she is very friendly with us already. Apparently shes at least 6- 8 months old and has just been living with other birds. She hasnt learnt to fly to my hand yet but I can place my finger in front of her and she will get up sit on my hand quite happily. I can even pat her and she seems to enjoy it. My little buddy Chuckles (my talking budgie) has NEVER let me pat him with my hand, although he will let you occasionally pat the top of his head but only if you are doing it with your nose. My other budgie that got away Kimmi would occasionally let you have a very short pat of her chest. So to be able to pat this one and have her sitting there enjoying it without freaking out and flying away is pretty cool I think. So what have I named this new member .... Kitty. Why Kitty for a budgie? Well call me insane but I thought since my Chuckles is so good with words (over 30 word vocab) I thought itd be funny to teach him "here kitty kitty kitty".

Well since I spent the best part of yesterday glued to this darn thing Im going to get off my butt and get some things done around here so that I can sit here doing what I like to do guilt free. Hope you all have a wonderful time doing what you are doing. Mmmmmmmmmmmwahs!

In a land ... maybe far far away

2009-06-01T15:15:00.008+10:00

I finally decide to sit my butt down and say hey hey. I remember thinking at one stage I wanted to do something cool for my 100th post and my 1 year bloggerversary ... but I missed both of them hehe. Make up for it today? Only thing cool right now is the weather and Im not reporting that ... oh hang on thinkn I just did in a round about way. How about I just ramble on and see if your still with me at the end hehehe.

So whats been happening in my world???

I havent done any updates on the online money making mission for a while so will start with that for something different. I havent really done a lot this year. to make a virtual quid. I have kept up with what has been making me a $ here n there slowly, but nothing is adding up to any great guns. Last year may have just been beginners luck, but hey I did pretty ok. I also admit I havent focused too much on it. Ive been far too scattered to stay on track every day like I was before my move up here. Sometimes money just isnt the priority to get that badly - not because Im rich - it just isnt the be all and end all to me. I have started to design a new web site to help advertise all my links. Its more of challenge because I like to learn and love to be creative - or try at least lol, but that has been in the works now for just over a month - a few of those weeks just sitting there waiting for my inspiration to open and continue that so called great idea I thought I had to begin with.

So what is working for me ....

BUX MATRIX ... I am close to requersting my 3rd withdrawal, all earnings rrfrom the paid to click side of the program. My inability to stay focused to learn how to effectively gain referrals - active and willing to upgrade referrals that is... I have 25 (unpurchased) referrals and only 1 of them does anything - means that I havent earnt anything from the matrix side yet ... oh hang on yes I did $2 when I upgraded to pro last time. I dont know if it was meant to work that way but hey when a $12 position purchase gives you $2 back Im certainly not going to complain.

I received a $20.00 gift voucher from Valued Opinions for doing surveys a couple of weeks ago. I chose to get a Sanity Voucher (there are a handful of different ones to choose from) for my daughter to go shopping with - more grunge music yay lol. A nice little bonus for a bit of time wasting occasionally. Surveys dont quite make you rich but they are nice bonus from time to time. Its how I had the cash that I started with to earn my decent amount last year without putting my cash in from the offline world. The other two which are my favourites are LightSpeed and Ciao Surveys.

I have finally been able to request a withdrawal from 10 dollarswonder again. It certainly isnt the gem it used to be but its plodding along so I cant really bitch with that. There are many aspects of this program however I could, and I did get carried away and start having that rant but then decided to delete it on the basis that it may be one of those opinions I best wait for someone to ask about rather than just spewing it to the world for no seemingly good reason. Its working for me and hats all that should matter to me here. Pure profit after 18 months = $517.

I am so hopeless I STILL have 5 work for $3 beneficiary tickets available to give away. This means you can join for free and earn for free, you lose nothing and well that just means you only need to find 1 person to join under you and you are in instant profit, what you do with it from there and how much you earn is up to your ability to get others to join. Email mi if you are interested. It does not matter if you have other WF3d accounts or not. Please give them a home and maybe even make some money on mi.

Apart from most of this week I have tried to spend a bit of time at the traffic exchanges. Im glad Im not here to make a million with how disorganised I go about things. To my surprise I have found EasyHits4U is even earning me a little for the same time I spend anywhere else. I had never really paid any attention to this site. I signed up to it very early in my journey to learn how to make money but was something that got lost in another maze. Well now Im paying a bit more attention to it and adding that to a list of things that is a positive in my half assed mission for more money.

Another program that was lost in the maze somewhere and found its way back to my attention is MTE Ad CoOp. It has a downline builder for some good popular programs, surf to earn a little cash and/or advertising for your links. Its free to join and think this blurb of mine is under rating the potential this could have towards helping you promote and earn more online with the tools it has for use.

I also decided to join Ad-Ventures 4u and give it a shot. Problem with this one so far for me was being so ill the week after I joined so I have not been able to surf everyday to say how its going. Lets hope this week is better and Im able to actually put some effort in to earn here. Check it out if you wish, Im not here to sell it to you yet .... I will rave when I see it work well.

Never did fancy myself as a salesperson hehehe. Another flaw in the plan to making my millions on here lol.

Have been crook as for the best part of the past week with some mighty fluey illness. I havent started oinking or rolling in mud yet so dont think Im a swine flu victim, although I did have to be tested on friday. Admittedly having this flu has really shown me a few challenges I didnt think of when I chose to leave my life back in Adelaide. I took a walk to the docs because I was so ill I didnt trust myself to drive ... not to mention the fact that I couldnt afford to register my car before it ran out so really not a good idea risking that one. I didnt think it could be so hard to make what is normally not even a 10 minute walk. With my dizzy head and fevering body I had to stop just about every block for a while. The appointment I was meant to have at 11:40 am finally eventuated at near 12:15pm after the airconditioning in the front office where I had to wait near froze me to pieces, that could have just been my fever playing tricks on me too who knows, I was delerious and bloody freezing sitting there. The doc hands me a face mask says where this, scripts me up for medication and says go for tests for this bloody swine flu. Its only around the corner at the hospital he says in his broken indian english. Ok so thats about as far as I have just walked from home... maybe a tad further. Uuuuughhhhh. Like I needed this with how I felt!!! So I fill my script downstairs at the pharmacy and struggle off towards the hospital looking really gorgeous in the green/white mask. Interesting mix of looks from people out on the streets, someone yelling some smart ass comment from a car passing by - bloody wankers get a life!! Couple people taking steps sideways when they approach walking. OMG!!! I finally get there, sweating, confused and guess what ... no the doctor was wrong ... or did I hear wrong in my delerium? I dont know but after taking a flight of stairs to the 2nd level wanting to avoid the lifts to help not pass on whatever hell bug has taken me over, wanting to pass out, being directed through a maze of corridoors following signs I was struggling to find on the walls I get to the blood test area .... hearing "no love thats not here " was not very welcome to my ears or body to hear. It was NEAR the hospital, across the road in fact. So there I make it after more dizzy, fevering confusion. Yay what fun it is to have swabs shoved down your throat til you gag and up your nose til you feel like your eyes are going cross eyed and about to pop out. That was definitely worse than the needle .. and trust me I hate needles with a passion. I would have taken 3 needles instead of those swabs given a choice. So in all it took just over 3 hours for something that would have only taken just over an hour in normal circumstances. Not something I would have had to face with the support I had back in Adelaide thats for sure. Worst part of all this is lack of work, not only can I really not afford the time off Ive had I am so over being here with no on around to talk to or go see. I had a docs certificate for the weekend and was really looking forward to getting back today ... but thanks to this stupid flu virus I have to wait until my tests come back and I have the all clear. Understandable but not what my headspace or pocket needs right now. But anyway shit happens hey .... re-reading all that, lucky I wasnt dying .. imagine the drama post for that one if this is just about a bloody flu hehehehe. There is a bonus side ... I didnt have a cigarette for a couple of days. I made over 48 hours but not quite the 72 hours. My daughter was stuck on shop duty ... and well shes too young to buy them for me not that I would ever ask her to. By the time I could get out I had decided I wasnt going to buy another packet. Well that lasted until Saturday when I caved and bought a pack of 20's. I finished them 8 hours ago and havent gone to the shop for more. I have however sat here arguing with myself how much I do .... and dont want a cigarette.

Now I notice its just after midnight and think I had better go put myself to bed. If Im sleeping I wont be boring you with my arguments on whether I want a cigarette or not and you can be off doing something thats actually interesting, informative and entertaining.

Ciao for now!!!

Thinking about Thoughts

2009-05-22T08:48:00.003+10:00

Hope you have all been keeping well.

Last 2 days have just been constant wind and rain, but today it has finally cleared here. Parts of QLD and NSW are flooded again thanks to a down pour they are saying is the heaviest seen in 30 years. Admittedly Ive not seen anything like it before .... ok it was just wind and rain .. but it was the most severe I have ever witnessed outside the tv. I heard a rumour today we are meant to be getting more bad weather over the weekend ... All I can think is No0o0o0o0o0 please no more because I lose work. Ok so thats a bit selfish of me, but oh well I hate missing work and not making ends meet as I sure you can understand.

Ive added another blog to my list of faves. A good friend has decided to take the plunge into the blogging world with us. It sure will be an interesting read, I do hope he sticks with it, he is a talented man and is sure to bring both laughter and tears (most likely caused by the laughter) as time goes by.

I dont know if any of you have any interest in the robot Assimo made by Honda, I do. Anyway for those of you who are I thought Id include this one for you if you havent already seen it. I do have a slight fascination for robots, electronics and anything technology. It sure is amazing what we humans can create. They are now operating him by thought. Interesting.

Being the big thinker I am at times I was having a think away to myself as I do when I sit here. The Assimo, along with a few weird scenarios of late have got me wondering about humans, yet another thing that I do often if you havent already figured that one out.

This time my intrigue is thoughts. What creates a thought in the brain and why do we have the thoughts we do. After a while of scouring the net for answers and reading many opinions I have a lot more thoughts about the subject than when whatever it is made me think of it in the first place. I stumbled across this bit of conversation . Here I was thinking there was just 2 levels of consciousness and now I find out theres 4? Well being the skeptic I am I dont know yet if I think the same as the poster JIM (not our friend the Hermit) or not but thought it was interesting to read none the less. It gave me a lot more to think about in my curious search for why and how it is it we think.

Then upon thinking about thoughts it got me drawing a comparison between man and machine. That got me even more curious about what thoughts are. I mean if thoughts can be actually be used to make an external object from our being function it makes me wonder if thoughts are another form of energy. Do different thoughts come from different parts of the brain? They say both the left and right side of our brains are different .. is this how we get conflicting thoughts? From the separate sides operating and perceiving things differently? I think it has to be deeper than that ... but the question is what made me think that? Im no scientist so how would my brain know to say that so certainly? What is making me think and come out with any of this? What makes your brain say anything it says to you?

Of course the answers lay in up bringing, environment, education, knowledge, religion, genetics, DNA and well Im sure there is a million more factors I can add to that if I really thought about and researched it. But hey Im confused enough about thinking and thought processes already without bringing all that web into it. Im more interested in the real root of thinking. What is it that sparks the thought ... regardless of the action that follows the thought or the feeling ... but then it can also be feelings and actions that cause thoughts. Do they really though ... they give you something but what is it in a brain that for example looks at a car and sends the message to the persons consciousness either "hey thats a hot car" as opposed to another that has a brain that thinks "thats a nice blue" or another who sees the same thing and thinks "what a monstrosity", yet another brain may not even think about the car and wonder what the person riding down the street on the bike was thinking when they chose to wear that horrible outfit. Its kind of like a quiet sound in your head that no-one but you can hear .. or only a screen you can see. Does this make any sense yet or are you all just wondering what I put in my coffee today?? I guarantee you its only the usual brand, milk, sugar and water. I can also guarantee there is absolutely no point to any of this. Im just thinking and sharing those curious thoughts to see what others think, because I think others thoughts are interesting too.

Ok so I have learnt one thing in my search for the answer ... it doesnt seem like anyone has discovered the answer to this one yet, well no one that has posted it in a page that Ive googled so far.

It also got me thinking about silly things like video games ... I mean are we just a part of some greater technology created by another being .. you know like the Sims I guess. Thats not a new question I am sure. Are WE in fact just a SIMS like game being created and played by the beings that are far more intelligent than us that we are always in search of (ok so I am not so sure many of those searching for other forms of life are hoping for something more intelligent than us for fear of the consequences of humans becoming known as lesser beings in the food chain .. too many of us like to be at the top) . Now theres some strange thoughts hey.

Lets get off our butts, go look out a door or window ... appreciate some of the smaller sounds, sights and smells of our world .. then go for a walk to clear our thoughts. Regardless of the answer to my question, whatever you think make sure you remember to include the thought that you are beautiful, you are worth thinking about and your thoughts are important to someone somewhere no matter how silly they seem or where they come from.

Ciao for now gorgeous people

Early Morning Babble

2009-05-14T05:42:00.004+10:00

Hey Beautiful people!

I have received this a few times and love the words. It also had a very uncanny timing of arrival this time around.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation..
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

......................

So whats news, the man like WOW ... well lets just say he was in more ways than one and he will be put down to a season, an extremely confusing and short one. Although without dumping I have to ask the universe wtf its doing to throw something like that at me right now. Im sure the answer will be revealed or the question totally forgotten one day but sure think sometimes hasnt it thrown me enough crap over the years !!! (its ok got my own cliched reply to that). I guess we all have that thought from time to time before we soldier on with a smile again.

Oh I saw 2 shooting stars on Sunday night. I have never seen anything like it before ... they travelled so far before teetering out. Sure I have seen shooting stars before but never 2 side by side travelling in the same direction. They were so bright. Did I make a wish ? Of course I did ... but hope I wasnt being greedy when I made 2 wishes ... I got confused thinking whether I should be making 1 or 2 considering the 2 stars so quickly made the 2nd one while they were shooting across the sky hehe. I dont mind if I can only have one or which one comes true they are both from the heart, simple and would be welcome in my life and neither of them involve money or material matter.

I got a facebook reply over my post "Quit Smoking Ready" from a friend back in Adelaide. Here is part of it :

The only way to quit is to quit.
Just stop rationalizing and quit.

And be prepared for the emotional onslaught!
Nicotine is an emotional blocker.
Every time you feel the need for a fag you're
just reacting to a build up of emotion.
Quick smoke and it's gone....for 20-30 minutes.
Then the feeling comes on you again and so on....

When you quit .... all those "blocked" emotions
come flooding back in!
You have to deal with them without the nicotine crutch.

I've seen plenty of big tough men reduced to
emotional wrecks while trying to give up tobacco.
Biggest reason for not being able to give up is
failure to deal with those emotions.

It rang some real bells with me. Great advice.

G you are also right about the medicine balls and patches. The quit smoking things the asian lady put on my ears are a form of accupuncture. I didnt get a massage last time I went so was coherent enough to ask questions hehehe.

Oooh my alarm! Its 6:30 am I guess its time to wake up .... hahahaha.

Well Im off to a do things for now then I will be back to focus on earning some cash.

Keep Smiling!!!

Little Sentimental

2009-05-01T20:13:00.005+10:00

With all the advertising heavily promoting that Mothers Day time of year it gets me thinking a lot about mine. Above all else ... like any kid I love my mum dearly, even now. She passed away quite some time ago now, but for those who have lost a parent you know the feeling that will never be replaced.

So a bit about my mum ... she was born overseas - where I do not know. I sometimes get the feeling somewhere in Europe looking at her features - and Ive been asked if I am countless times over the years which makes one only but wonder. She was given up at a Sydney North Shore Hospital as both her real parents were diagnosed with and soon later died from tuberculosis not long after they arrived in Australia. My now nan and pop had 4 boys and wanted a girl so they fell in love with mum and took her home.

I do not know much about mums younger years. I can remember mum many times on a drunken or drug indused shame trip drilling into my head why she wished she had listened to her parents and where she thought she would be if she had, but not actually saying a hell of alot about her growing up. Through nan I found out more as we were quite close from the time I left home at 14 until 2003(a story all of its own I may share one day). Mum growing up was spoilt rotten, they were a relatively rich family with my granddad being an architect of sorts (apparently mostly rice mills - he died in Pakistan working on one when I was VERY young - so young I cant even remember him at all bar a photo of me as a baby and him dressed and standing rather stately with me in his arms - there was something I always hated about that photo .. it was very dark, something just felt cold about it). She had everything she ever wanted, horses, cats, whatever animal or anything else she wanted. I do remember her telling me she hated being a girl and having to wear dresses, play with dolls etc. She preferred to be like her brothers playing in the creeks and wandering around doing what boys did back then. She rebelled alot against her mum who tried to make her be a little girl when they werent being raised by the maids. It was also a little like that with me and her (without the money and maids). She wanted my hair parted in the middle, I wanted it on the side, she wanted me in pink ... I wanted black - hang on thats scary because Ive also been going through a similar thing with my daughter wishing she would prefer more girlie things!!! Hahaha! Oh what a funny coincidence I just realised writing this. Ok so we are a few generations of tomboys as little girls hehehe. I however rebelled for other reasons and trying to give my daughter nothing to rebel against hehehe, so far so good on that one - shes 15 and at both home AND school.

Back on topic though, nan and pop divorced through the years when mum was young. That affected her deeply, she resented granddads new chinese wife to the point she even tried to raise me to hate the whole asian race - unsuccessfully. So through the divorce and goodness knows what else really happened in her life to take her on the path she went she started going off the rails as some do, unfortunately off the rails is where she stayed. I was born when she was 18 - funny, I had my daughter at the same age, but I am far from the person she became. I wont dwell on the negatives of growing up ... there were so many of them I could write a series. She was an alcoholic, a drug addict and well I guess she was just a sore lost soul drowning looking back but she had some qualities that one would only admire in any other person and situation. The one thing that always stands out in my memory of her ... even with all the bad things that happened to her/us ... she could still laugh from her belly given the chance and space. You could always see it in her eyes that there was something dead in her but somewhere there she still had heart and a great sense of humour. In some ways she was the kind of person who would give you the shirt off her back and stand there wearing her bra with no shame if you had nothing (and that I saw once with my own eyes!!!).

There were good memories, like when I was REALLY young I received not only a Mickey Mouse phone set but a phone call from my all time favourite Walt Disney character of the time,Minnie Mouse, for my birthday. I was ecstatic! Having grown up .. I know it wasnt Minnie Mouse at all but really my mum who bought that smile to my face that day.

She did have a job for a while. She worked the front bar in the Main Steet where I grew up. I remember how much I looked forward to her days at work because I would go there after school. Of course I wasnt allowed in the front bar but there was a saloon bar and family area on the other side which she also served. So I would head to the pub where she worked eagerly looking forward to the ritual raspberry with lemonade, salt and vinegar chips and my 20 cents to put my favourite song "I love Rock n Roll" by Joan Jett and the BlackHearts on the jukebox. Weekends when she worked was fun too because she cleaned the hotel rooms and it was always fun going along to help her clean mirrors and whatever else. If I did a good job there was ALWAYS a hamburger (with raw onion!!!) and a lemonade involved, in summer followed by a trip down the river for a swim when it ws really hot. She was fun to be with before things got real bad.

The few times mum let me wear her ONLY good shirt to school on casual day. Mum was never the cool dresser, she never had nice clothes, nice things and barely ever wore make up or do anything nice to her hair. Neither of us did once she got her last boyfriend. She did have 1 nice shirt, a light yellow one with huge pockets on the breasts. Thinking about this shirt .. I would be wearing it to this day had I been able to get it - but mums boyfriend gave me nothing but more grief when she died (even tried to get $150 out of me to put MY name on her tomb stone!!! - thats just a touch of the kind of person he is). I was always proud to wear this shirt because it was mums GOOD shirt which looked cool, the ONLY nice thing she had that I liked, so it was ALWAYS something I got excited about being allowed to wear and it was a good memory. I even had my kind of first kiss in that shirt ... not that I ever told her that hehe.

She always gave me something hand made or written for birthdays and christmas. She would go against HIS rules to sneak me out to the pool or to hang with friends from time to time, but this often backfired. She would sneak me money or whatever and when ever she could. She talked WITH me, as much as I didnt know it at the time battling with all that her choices put me through we were actually very close for a long time. We didnt have a lot but at the same time what we did have, those who have a lot, many miss out on. As much as she failed in she succeeded in pushing me out of the life that for some reason she accepted was hers and could never escape. What can I say ... I will always love my mum with all my heart for the good she tried.

Now I feel like smiling and some music to go do some housework with. Outside reminiscing I have something to look forward to tomorrow ... the guy I met a short while back who was a bit like WOW and disappeared to the other side of the country is coming to visit me. W0o0o0o0o! Well anyway Ive got my smile so lets get into the music. Lets start with this one ...

Stay beautiful people.

xox

Quit Smoking Remedy???

2009-04-29T07:34:00.003+10:00

On my way home from work yesterday I decided to stop into the shopping center to get something for dinner. As I was wandering through thinking how much my back and neck were (nothing new to me ... its always like that) I decided to re-organise the budget in my head to allow myself to be treated to a massage. I had noticed this asian place in the center a few times so there I went to check it out. $30 for 25 minutes neck and back .. yeah cool I was sore enough to part with it.

Shes telling me how much pain Im in .. yeah no crap! Ive been feeling it myself for years. She said she will give me free cupping to help her massage. I have heard about this many times through friends and other avenues but never given it much thought. Since she was insisting I needed it and wanting to give it to me why not, I still had plenty of time on my hands ... 28 spots from neck to bum, an hour and a half later Im actually feeling my back ... but not the pain. Through the massage shes going on and on about me quitting smoking. Every smoker knows they should quit .. and from previous medical problems I also KNOW I should be putting more committment to it myself. I found it weird and uncanny though that this little asian lady is massaging me saying "smoking make you very sick already you must quit now, I want to help you quit now, will you let me help you". So shes parting random information to me in that broken english way "lemon tea with honey very good for you ... no green tea... no green tea at all .. only lemon with honey for you", "you lucky I am here today and not just normal massage", "drink water .. hot water not cold water you need hot water", "you must quit smoking". Meanwhile Im covered in cups and hell knows what planet my brain was on as I can hear her going on.

So the massage and cups come to an end ... I look like Ive been attacked by a vaccuum cleaner, my body and mind are functioning in a foggy kind of way and pay my $30. She tells me to sit and motions to the chair by the counter "I help you quit smoking now". Ok whatever, Im dazed and confused anyway lol. She pulls out a bag that contains what look like miniature bean bag balls and white plaster paper. Im trying to ask her what it is and she just keeps saying "medicine paper, medicine balls help you quit smoking". My lack of functioning and her broken english made it too hard to try press on for more understanding and just went with it. Not like it cost me anything extra. She is cutting the plaster strips into small squares and placing them on a pen to be held .. one .. two .. three .. four. Then out come the balls and she begins attaching them to my right ear. "This help you quit, you press 5-8 times every morning, come back next week we do other ear". Then its like OUCH!!! as shes squeezing them on my ear, all 4 of them. For some reason the piercings I have I dont remember ever hurting this much ... and thismorning when I did it it was the same pain DAMN OUCH!!!

So now Im not in a hazy brain fog Im wondering what the hell are these things??? Im not normally one to not really look into further information before I try something Ive never seen or heard before, but I guess its not like Ive had to ingest something I guess. Ive done a google search but dont even know the name of them to know what I am looking for ... and its just a tad early to be motivated enough to go in and ask.

Well I will let you know how I go and what I find out along the way about this rather random way to quit smoking. For the pain and their weirdness of the way I look with sticky things on my ears I sure hope it works .. If not I guess I will get plenty of questions from people wondering why Im wearing something so odd.

Maybe someone out there knows the medicine things I am on about and can help inform me what they are and how it is meant to work. She didnt tell me when I was meant to stop, she didnt say quit immediately or wean myself she just said these will help me quit. Hmmmm its worth a shot.

Filling Time & Space

2009-04-28T17:29:00.005+10:00

Hello Beautiful People! Well Ive been bit drained last few days but now I know I have 2 days off ahead of me so here I am.

I was just surfing around as you do catching up on blogs and stuff. I was reading a previous post on Rods page which sparked a train of thought Ive had on and off over years.

Firstly it is of interest to me to notice how similar EVERY HUMAN in every country REALLY is no matter how bloody different we are whether it be because of colour, culture, beliefs, language ... whatever. Open your eyes. Look around. America, Australia, Germany, Spain, Greece, Asia, Russia ... how many countries or divisions are there in the world? wherever. Every country is filled with .... OMG can you believe it ??!! .... HUMANS ... And at the heart of those humans in all those countries is the drive and desire to be defensive of their homes and way of life, whether that line they are protecting be divided by a fence, a border, an ocean, fear or even something that has been instrumented out of manipulation by other humans around them.

You see the fact that someone somewhere wants the American Anthem sang in Spanish, turn Australia into a Republic because we are so far up Americas ass to be Australian (whatever that REALLY is anymore), or whether chickens wake up tomorrow to say stuff the humans and decide there is enough of them to gather up cows with guns to teach us a lesson about how THEY consider we should be considering because of their cultural beliefs .... I just wonder at times why it is so important all this patriotism stuff? Why cant HUMANS realise we ARE HUMANS no matter where we come from. In alien terms we would be something totally different, which too would be as irrelevant, as it is just an identifying label. We all eat, breathe and shit just the same no matter what language or part of the world we do it in.

(whatever we identify it as should be TOTALLY IRRELEVANT - we are all on the same damn planet in the same damn universe in this life which we were all given for a reason NONE of us will get right because there are so many damn versions of right nobody knows which right way is actually the real right way, it just depends on who you talk to I guess. Whoever isnt at the top (or the majority) creating the Baffle Them With Bullshit people believe is generally living, existing in or trying to escape from the Bullshit Theyve Baffled us with!!!)

Im not saying I either agree or disagree with what Rod is saying, no offence or argument meant, his post just got me thinking about it all ... this is merely rambling thought bleeding from my fingertips and being thrown out raw to the interverse (get it? internet universe - clever huh huh huh :-P .. ok .. LAME). If you want my political opinion Im really with Pauline Hanson when she says "Puleeeeeease Explaaaaayn" ... there are some things I just dont really understand about us crazy humans.

Keep Smiling and stay fabulous wherever you are, singing whatever anthem you are singing in whatever language that comes from your heart.

The world is my dance floor and life is the music I hear

xox-Missi-xox

P.S.

Sorry but LMAO @ the "unlicensed pharmacist" I would like to see this term used more often :-P

Disgusting waste

2009-04-21T17:29:00.002+10:00

I have been sitting here listening to some music on my computer which got me thinking of the conversations Chef at work n I have been having occasionally of late in regards to the lyrics to some of the songs. I must admit I havent really kept up with the latest of the pop charts as closely as I once would have. I also havent heard anywhere near as much radio as I used to when I worked cleaning and driving cars. Anyhow he has pointed out the lyrics to some songs on the radio in the kitchen ... its set at a level I barely hear going in and out mostly.

Im just plain disgusted. I have to say Im all for a bit of shock factor and freedm of expression even if it isnt the ordinary... but what the hell is this SHIT that has been coming out of these "so-called" artists?

I mean the song title "Jizz in my Pants"

The lyrics in a song by some too cool for school black guy who someone had a brain wave n called FLO RIDA (now theres imagination hey!!! pfft I say) right round
"you spin my head right round when your going down"

I could just go on but its filth!!! Absolute filth. And dont get me wrong as prudish as I sound Im not that old fashioned and all with going with the times. But really who is writing this crap and even worse why do people actually LET their kids buy it so these stupid people (mostly just barely kids themselves who either dont or shouldnt even know about half of the disgusting crap they sing about) earn a mint off absolute garbage. A bunch of filth rubbish sang to a catchy tune that some git labeled entertainment? What I dislike even more is when they cant even find thier own tune they have to rehash something from earlier generations who actually had real talent especially compared to nowadays. There is no soul in these people or their work. Music should come from the soul .. not be fabricated in a music factory of greed.

What happened to true lyrical and musical talent? Seems to not hit the people at the top. I am sure there is much of it out in the world still .. but its always disappointing to hear how low people will go to make a dollar.

Ooops the time ...

Have to run for now so stay beautiful until next time people

xox-Missi-xox

Smile

2009-04-19T16:26:00.004+10:00

Look at this hey!!! .... 2 posts in 2 days ... not leaving you hanging for weeks with the same old page of dribble ... OMG !!! Whats happening has she lost her life?!?!?!?

LOL

No just got some time to pass n thought Id have a ramble.

I got to thinking about simple things that make you smile. Now I love to smile as often as I can. I dont wear one 24/7 but I do try to stay conscious of smiling often. I have one crazy thought that it helps your wrinkles fall the right way .... Anyway thats besides the point, anyone who knows me well will have heard that one from me often enough.

What got me thinking today was this little boy at work this morning. He must have been a whole of about 4 with his younger brother in tow. They almost reached my hip in height (Im only about 5'5-6ish myself). The two little people with big brown eyes looked up at me and the older one beams to me "Excuse me miss, I was wondering if, if you have some old uhhhhh bread" He stopped looked behind at his little brother, smiled, looked back at me and continues "because me and my brover " then points at him "my brover, my brover would like to feed the fish please", then looks down all shy and holds his brothers hand. You see at the marina there is an area where you are not allowed to fish so there are tons of them more often than not. We save the old bread to give to kids to feed them, I also like to go down there to share my lunch sometimes. But anyway point of the story he was just one of the cutest kids and it made me smile. He was more polite than most adults would ever think of being and standing there so small in this big world yet you could just feel how big and excited he felt in every word asking for some bread to feed the fish. Do you ever remember feeling that way ... funnily enough I can recall a few moments. It just plain made me smile.

What else makes you smile?

Strangely enough as much as the pidgeons at work are more of a pest than anything ... hanging around like vultures just waiting for someone to leave some form of left over food on a plate or something that we have been too slow to notice ... they made me smile the other day. There in the middle of a concrete tiled walkway ... 2 pidgeons laying down, one of them with a wing over the other as if to be sheilding it. They lay there for ages like that ... dont know why it just made me smile .. there was just something natural and beautiful about it even though they are so out of what should be their natural environment.

To see a really elderly couple walk down the street side by side holding hands makes me smile. The older they are the more I find I smile. There are few things I think more gorgeous than an older couples in love .. especially more if I am priviliged enough to talk to them and find out theyve been together forever. Stories like that make me smile.

Nature makes me smile .... many forms of it not just animals. Waterfalls, trees (the older, the larger the better), natural landscapes. So many things.

Anyway I must get off the computer for a bit.. my daughter is due home soon, she is having a friend over and Im getting organised to go into work again to have a happy holiday drinks with one of my workmates who is off home to New Zealand for a couple of weeks.

I hope you all find some simple things that just make you smile

Better than a Kick in the Bum

2009-04-18T17:25:00.006+10:00

Im so0o0o0o0o tired! Had a long day at work run off my feet.

I won't be lazy tonight though ... I'm meeting my best mate online sometime in the next few hours for a catch up. Have to admit .. as tired as I am I am looking forward to that.

I have noticed questions over the new "promotion" in 10 DollarsWonder, although I am NOT general support any more I am still a part of the program as a member. I purchased 2 new positions as an experiment since I am ahead in profit. So far I have made $10.00 from positions cycling in the past 3 days. There have to be some older positions cycling (this I am assuming as I am too lazy to really check what positions are or not cycling any more .. its just too hard and have too many to be bothered keeping track of). I assume this because I have only bought 2 new positions ... gaining 1 auc position and these 3 positions have only earnt $1.00 each = $3.00. I will not go overboard buying new positions here but am willing to keep experimenting small amounts while as long as Im ahead.

BUX-MATRIX is one of my favourites at the moment. I have not been really trying too hard to make money online of late since I have been busy living life away from the little screen more often than not, but I have to admit I am chuffed enough with this one to make a point of regularly participating. I have upgraded and rented some referrals (on top of gaining some of my own) and am happy to say I am close to making my 2nd withdrawal- which I could have made any time in the past 3 weeks but decided to wait to make a bigger withdrawal. Overall very happy here.

Pure Profile is close to payout limit again. I withdrew $48 from this one already .. yes it took time to accumulate. Payout limit is $25. It is just another paid to program. Viewing advertisers site, video and surveys. It has been a favourite for a while now knowing that although its not a huge amount its something and it doesnt take much time.

Hmmm what else is making me money still.....

Hits4Pay ... yet another one close to the $25.00 payout limit. Another one which has been taking time .. but then again if I put more effort into gaining referrals for commission then it could be a lot quicker. I like it because it has been around a long time, has a good reputation from what I have read and pay you 2 cents for every advertiser site you view. I tend to steer away from most of the ones that pay you less than a cent per view ... with the exception of Make That Dollar, Donkey-Mails and No- Minimum ... which I primarily fiddle with for kinda free advertising more so than making money from.

Well I will leave it there for now .. I have a few things to do. These wont make you millions just like they havent me but I still say its all better than a kick in the bum as far as earning a few extra bucks goes.

Take care beautiful people

Heres a Hug

2009-04-16T06:51:00.004+10:00

JUST BECAUSE ...

Im wrapping my arms around you with my heart because I want you to know you to know that I am so happy you are a part of my life!

TODAY ...

Consider yourself hugged!!!

This was something given to me that I thought I should pass on to you. We all need hugs.

How have you all been?

I have had time doing simple things, destressing, setting new goals, cleaning, organising, working, spending time with my daughter, her friends and basically just adjusting to the latest big change (no longer sharing my residence). I am finding that I am now starting to truly appreciate the road I travelled to get to where I am right now in my life, how proud I feel to have made such a huge change uprooting my whole life AND to land on my feet again (took a lot longer than anticipated but anyway Im finally there). Sure I couldnt have done it without some really good friends helping me along the way (I sure hope you know who you are).

I have dreamt for many years of my life to be living at this end of Australia. I have been on holidays over the years up this end and just loved it. Always said I would move up here ... but I was getting stuck in a rut that was making me wonder if I ever would (do this or anything else) every time I spoke of it ... that was before I woke up one day and said thats it!!! Im over this rut! My life HAS to change NOW! I HAVE to do it now or never .... then I began to live and breath everything into getting here. Im now here and happier than I ever was in Adelaide.

One thing I have become more sure of through this ... Myself. Others may hold some impact over your life but only YOU can truly decide where you want your life to be and only YOU can take the steps to get there. Sure others can hold you back in getting to where you need to be for you but keep faith, stay strong and remain true to yourself. Hell! If it helps beleive in the most random things to get you through ... like "Pussycats always land on their feet" and imagine you are that pussycat. Do not let you underestimate yourself, do not listen to those who fill you with negatives. Do not let yourself believe for a moment you cannot or do not deserve to achieve more of what YOU want in your life. If you want something picture it .... then put all your heart and soul into getting it. With passion, clear goals, little steps and no fear of a bit of hard work no mission is truly impossible if you dont want it to be.

If things are crap for a long time ...

it is not your friends fault
it is not your parents fault
it is not the bully who beat you up at schools fault
it is not that you were abused at fault
it is not because you are broke at fault

it is that you have accepted (whether consciously or subconsciously) the position you are in for some reason (only you will know these reasons ... if you dare to search for them). Sure there are many things surrounding us that we have no control over, and others bring some pretty bad shite into our lives at times but it IS your choice how you deal with these hiccups, it is your own thoughts and attitudes that will ultimately control how things affect you deeply. Your own actions, or lack of, that will put you where you are.

Take time for YOU! Respect yourself. Learn to think healthy thoughts, dare to change what you do not like around you, live life, grow, love, do things with passion, accept challenges and laugh from your belly.

Aim for the moon ... if you miss you will always land amongst the stars !!!!

Your life is only what you let yourself think it is.

A Song

2009-04-11T17:47:00.001+10:00

Just because I like it and wanted you to know Im near.

xox-Missi-xox

Just Keeping in Touch

2009-04-04T06:49:00.004+10:00

Good day to all you beautiful people!!!

I do hope you have all been well.

So this morning brings persistent precipitation again so have been asked to start work a few hours later. I do hope it clears up so I dont get another call to say dont worry about coming in at all, I need the distraction. I guess that is the only downside to where I work ... it is mostly outside so the weather can have a hand in getting none. I dont mind too much ... you take the good with the bad and I really do enjoy working there (as much as one can enjoy work lol).

After what feels like the longest time I am finally at home with just me and my daughter. Havent had that since I moved out of my house back in Adelaide. I had hoped to have this within a month of getting up here but everything just took so long and a few hiccups along the way. Here I am 12 months later .. in fact it was 12 months to the day that I gave up where Id lived for the previous 7 years to start this crazy adventure. Its odd looking back at the photo of the place all packed up in boxes. The friend I moved in with up here to start with has been staying with me the past 4-5 months. The first thing I have noticed since his departure .... I sure forgot how empty a place can feel at times .... (and wow I have space where I never had space). I cant remember if I actually felt this when I lived on my own before. Im sure I would have had to from time to time but I guess I had been on my own for so long without sharing I never knew what it was like to have company most of the time. The second thing that hit me was the fact that here I am now really on my own. Sure my friend is still my mate and doesnt live all that far away but thats it I have really fully put my feet on the ground here. Its kind of a scary and exciting feeling all at the same time. I was thinking last night how I feel is kind of like .... well I dont know how to explain it but I found this to give you an idea ...

It strangely as peaceful as it feels empty.

So what else .... I met and was spending a bit of time with a new man for a few weeks there. Damn shame in keeping with my true form he is now back on the other side of the country. Those who know me real well will know what I mean there. It was nice to spend some time with a gentleman anyway, he was real nice. Between you and me he was kinda like wow really, caught me by surprise thats for sure. He did say he was thinking of coming back ... well I as much as I wont be holding my breath for what is a "maybe" ... I still hope that he does and doesnt just turn into a nice memory. There really was "something" about him. I tell you thats a random thought for me to be having too. Who knows what this insane universe is doing teasing by putting a guy like that within my reach then putting him on what may as well be opposite end of the world. Life is strange at times.

I havent had much luck making money having not been around online much, although for someone who hasnt put in a lot of effort I have been lucky to still make a couple of hundred so far this year mainly between 10 DW, surveys and BuxMatrix . I have had a few positive reports on the Birthday Bonus Club working well for members there too. For something thats free to join it sure is a bit of birthday fun and nice surprise to set yourself up for on your birthday. When isnt extra cash a good thing hey.

Just a reminder to all too ... I am no longer general support in 10 DollarsWonder. I no longer answer support tickets. I was never admin or in charge of any changes or any part of the program. Please do not write to me abusing me for ignoring you ... I am simply just no longer there working for 10 DW admin. The reasons are personal and need to know basis only.

Well I must shoot off for now got a few things I need to get stuck into.

The world is my dance floor ... make it yours too ... live, love, laugh ... dance forever in the eternal maze.

"I want to be a lion
Everybody wants to pass as cats
We all want to be big big stars, but we got different reasons for that "

Just dropped by quickly

2009-03-30T05:48:00.003+10:00

Apologies for my extended silence of late ... got a number of distractions going on.

I just wanted to make a quick stop to let you know I am thinking of you all, I havent run completely away and all is well.

Also wanted to mention that at this stage I have decided to cease being general support for 10 DW, I have emailed admin about this but have not had reply or any confirmation if he has recieved it. It has been a great opportunity that came at a time in my life when I needed it most. Thank you forever Blondie ... without you starting me off my move interstate would have been MUCH harder for me to achieve without taking a 3rd job away from home as this was a serious consideration when I started exploring making money online.

Anyway I better head off for now again as I have to start getting ready for work. I will get my crap together and be around more often again soon.

Keep well beautiful people !!!! MMMmmmwahs!!!

Touched ....

2009-03-05T10:42:00.008+10:00

Im baaaack. Its been a hot and busy week for me. Im used to heat in summer but humidity ... well thats been a bit to adjust to. Im finally on my days off and able to relax without actually coming to a complete stop.

I was quite touched upon my return to the net today the award from my buddy Jim and Rod. I am a bit speechless, all I can say is I am glad people get some form of enjoyment from my random bloggings. I am grateful to have people follow what input I have and accept Mi for me. I hold your friendship and support as something very special. And this goes for not only those who have awarded me but also those who I know have taken time to drop by regularly on the quiet.

Speaking of Rod ... I have been really touched by his posts of family life of late. For those who dont know, in short, I do not have close family nor have I ever had. My mum died many years ago, never knew my father and well it was not family life as it was meant to be. It gives me the warm fuzzies to read his stories of close family life. Just as much as it does to read of Blondies family - including her animal members.

In reading his post today it did make me smile to know that although I havent quite had the same experience of having so many generations of family in one room, I did create one good memory. Mum and I used to always talk of going to visit my nan who lives in Batemans Bay. Even more so after my daughter was born. Although mum and I didnt see a great deal of each other by this point as I was slowly breaking away, we still shared a few dreams. Having nan, my mum, me and my daughter together was one of them. Sadly she never got there before she died, but I did in 2003 and have photos of at least my nan who was 86 I think at the time, me at 27 and my little one who was 9 ... so we still managed 3 of 4 generations. It was the first time I can recall ever having a true family christmas with my own family tree. I sat with family members I didnt even know I had. It was nice in some ways, odd in others as I was a stranger to the group, well to all but nan - we were always close.

Ive been thinking alot about the universe and attraction lately. The weird, amazing and unexplained.

For the totally amazing check this accident out. The first question that came to mind when I saw this amazing footage is what in the world is the universe trying to tell you when they throw not only a truck but a train at you and you survive? I have to agree with this guys words though ... life is beautiful. Im just glad I didnt have to go through what this guy did in order to realise it hehehe.

Have you ever had the feeling their really is something out there watching over you? Do you beleive in Guardian Angels? Do you ever get the feeling you are here for a reason? Have strange "knowings" you cant explain? As an example I used to have a thought that has started returning to me of late that Im going to be something more than I am, something a bit greater than just average .... do I know at what consciously ??? No real idea, no real direction. But something keeps telling me. Deciding to move state I had no real idea why ... I just knew I had to leave all that was my life in Adelaide and knew that I had to be up here. Why? I cannot really tell you why because the answer in words I do not know. When I found my job I knew I would get it and that is where I am meant to be, I still feel strongly that I am meant to be there. Why? I still dont think I really know or understand the thought. What about the old lady who comes into work, she is quite a refined lady, tells me one day a while ago out of the blue that I am going to be rich one day soon .. is she a psychic? Who knows, but its random enough to take note of. Have you had moments where you all of a sudden did something out of character, like slow down where you would normally speed or take the right turn home instead of the left only to find there was a speed camera or an accident the way you would have normally taken. Somehow freakishly avoiding a stroke of bad luck or finding a stroke of good luck all because you "felt" something and chose to do something differently. I dont know why I am thinking of all these random questions. Maybe its just the lucky feeling I have had of late looking around me. At the things I have achieved, the people I have met. I once had a customer that I consider a friend once tell me that there will always be someone to look after me no matter what I do. Many years have gone by and its another comment that has drawn me in some way and have to say he is right. I often say and live by the comment "pussycats always land on their feet". There has always been a person or a solution to my problems right there when I need them most. Do not get me wrong I know I drive a lot of my life in its positive direction but I cannot help but feel there is definitely something deeper in this world that draws our lives along the paths we are going.

Well before I scramble your brains any more Im off to do a few things around home before the day escapes me.

Ciao for now beautiful people. I have some pics to share in the coming days.

xox

Another day in the life ..

2009-02-20T21:29:00.002+10:00

Its 9:30pm ... another day end draws near. I am at my usual place in the house ... the computer. So what has happened today.

I woke up late ... well no I tell a lie I woke up to the alarm at the right time but I blinked and it lasted for an hour. So I bail out of bed at just after 7:30am to wake my daughter for school. Its later than normal but if I borrow the car off a friend who is staying with me then I can drive her and she will get there on time so no real stress there.

I had a real late night last night. I didn't get to sleep until around 3am, was restless so pottered around the house tidying up here n there. I finally screwed the door onto my computer table that I have been too lazy to get around to since I moved in. Fixed the shelf that wasnt attached properly, vacuumed, washed clothes, move the microwave, hooked up my good speakers to the pc - which included some very clever wire hacking pfft lol and dance around the lounge room a little.

So after I drop her off to school I head home and sit here for a bit. I was listening to music and irritated with the same old stuff I listen to so decided to install limewire and downloaded some fresh stuff to please my ears. So I downloaded and danced and surfed nothing to do with making money, this is the first thing (besides facebook) I usually do on here that I have done today.

I had a new mate bring his pc over who needed a bit of help thisavo. That was nice to have some new company for a bit. He is the captain on that 15million $ boat I got the privilige of getting on board and shown through. Very interesting character, well travelled, some good stories. I was disappointed that I was already working tomorrow because he offered me a days work on the boat. I know if I had the choice where Id rather be working even if it was just an offer to help him clean and dust the boat down on the inside lol. But i have no choice ... we are already understaffed at work and 2 of the 4 of us are taking tomorrow off for a dance party (damn Im a little envious of them doing that too Im DYING to get out for a dance) so I have to be at wor like a good little employee. Cant even call a sickie cuz I would have to somehow sneak pass work to get to the boatm besides the guilty conscience lol. It will be leaving the Gold Coast soon so I am hoping to get another chance to get inside it just because it is so extravagant its surreal to see through my own eyes.

Tea was a quick and boring affair, didnt have enough to inspire to do anything huge. We have one of my daughters friends over for the night so they are off in the bedroom doing the things that teenage girls do when theyre together. No doubt they'll be up all night and dead all day tomorrow. I will be at work so I cant even go and jump on their bed early like she used to do to me when she was much younger lol.

Oh there are now 6 eggs in Kimmis box, I got another glimpse yesterday. Havent seen her all day apart from me peering through the hole into the darkness of the box to see the little white spot on the top of her head which is all I can really see without lifting the lid of the box which I avoid doing too often. Oh the anticipation ... all I can do is wonder when will they hatch (apparently around 18 days so should be somewhere around mid march is my guess), how many and what colour will they be? Chuckles had a purple dad and a yellow mum and he is grey. His brother ended up a deep royal purple, so its anyones guess. Upon reading on budgie breeding and colours there are so many variations... pity they havent made a pink budgie yet Id like a pink budgie lol. I keep thinking one day I would like to own a pure white budgie ... at least there ARE white ones, I find them so beautiful. If I am successful at having baby budgies I have decided I will keep them long enough to hand tame them then most likely find a good home for them. The unit is too small to start an collection of birds even as small as them but it will be hard to not keep them lol.

I received a very warming email earlier from a new friend Rod (click on his name to check his blog). To this email Rod I thankyou very much for being a part of my world. I couldnt see the award following the link but being thought of and your gesture I am very honoured. It gives me pride to know I have been an inspiration to someone in my random dribbles here. I look forward to your visits as well as your own blog.

Oh boy, to be honest I could really do with a number of vodkas, loud music and a dance floor full of hot sweaty people all jumping and girating doing that thing some call dance ... others vertical epileptic fits, well some look like that ... hope Im not one of them lol. Im really in need of a night out with some good people who enjoy doing some of the things I do. Dress up, get fabulous (not just be fabulous as I always am :-P - starts singing in a sound of music kind of way ... "feel pretty, oh so pretty and witty and gay" - *cough* errrr uhumm, yeah ok feet back on earth and butt is in pc chair. Unfortunately the people I know for this kind of thing are all back in Adelaide, and not feeling courageous enough to go venture the Gold Coast night life alone while my daughter is at home with a friend ... not to mention the $ factor. Meh! The down side of skipping state and all youve come to know over 16 years I guess... missing ya mates being close by ... I really am lucky to have so many really good people a part of my world there. Dont get me wrong I'm not really down, wanting to move back or anything like that, just feeling the isolation of settling into a strange town and having very few people to really talk to. I miss going out dancing with my best mate. It will take time to build the friendships here like I had there. Im not an anti-social person but Im not the kind of person to just accept anyone into my life wily nilly, even for the sake of company. I am actually a rather cautious person on who I let into my actual physical personal world and my home. I build friendships very slow as I am mostly a solitary person.

Well with my solitude and a song Im gonna dance off to bed so I dont wake up all grumpy ass in the morning for work.

For those who would rather sing than dance, read and listen or sing and dance heres a song and the lyrics. MMMMMMWAAAAAAAAAAAHS to all you beautiful people.

Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah
Make you wanna move your dancing feet now
To the rescue, here I am
Want you to know, y'all, can you understand?

When the mornin' gather the rainbow, yeah, yeah
Want you to know, I'm a rainbow too now
To the rescue, here I am
Want you to know, y'all, can you, can you, can you understand?

Sun is shining, the weather is sweet now
Make you wanna move your dancing feet, yeah
But to the rescue, here I am
Want you to know just if you can, here I stand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Can you understand me now, baby?
Do you believe me?